Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

Are you divorced?


Bostic Hog

Recommended Posts

For some reason, I got to thinking:

I wonder who on ES has been divorced the most times? I have been divorced once and am on my 2nd marriage. My first marriage is a tragedy -- we were totally made for each other -- but we both were deployed during the 1st Persian Gulf war. When we got back, we both had changed, ALOT!! I guess you could say that our marriage was a victim of the war. We divorced Jan. 8th, 1992. I have since remarried - to the next love of my life. But who knows -- tomorrow she may find Mr. Right and I'm outta here.

So, chime in on your divorces.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am somewhat newly-wed. I got married on May 7, 2009. Everything has been fantastic! We bought our first home just months after marrying. That DEFINITELY caused some initial issues with budgeting, but after the first 2 months, we have found a great working budget and things have literally never been better than ever. It feels like when we first met.

Obviously life happens. Both my wife and I share the same attitude about marriage. We realize it takes a lot of sacrifice, dedication, and constant work and attention. We really don't believe in divorce. I'm not ignorant that it can happen, but that is something we really just feel is an option. We believe in working hard and never neglecting each other or the relationship.

I remember when i got back from my second deployment, my girlfriend of 6 years (on and off since HS) and I broke up. I thought I was certainly going to marry her. But at 23, we easily grew in different directions after being away from each other for a year. We were also both young. HOWEVER, I did know in the back of my mind we were completely right for each other.

I am hoping that I can learn from this thread about mistakes others have made from their marriage.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Divorced once.

Together for 10 yrs, married for 5. Was a little rocky before I deployed for OIF in 2003. Came back tried to start over agian, she got pregnant the 2nd or third week I was home things looked good for a year or so. Bought a house then **** went south, still not sure what happend(guess we really grew apart the 20 months I was gone out of 24 months-no 'others' involved on either side). Tried to keep it together, but we figured it would be best to split. Still friends and are happier than the last couple years we were together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Divorced once. HORRIBLE marriage, as most of you ES tailgaters can remember my story at the tailgates while I was going through it. Probably was the cause of me getting so wasted during the first year of tailgating with you all, thus earning my nickname and reputation.

The marriage wasn't a total lose. I learned a ton and I am happier than I ever knew I could be. I was able to get myself financially secure and buy a house, non of which I would have been able to do being married to a money pit.

Plus I would have never come up with my dirty sanchez jokes! :silly:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kinda funny you posted this as I am actually going through this right now myself.

My wife and I met in 1997 while working at the local KFC restaurant. We had our first child two months after I graduated High School (99) and moved in with each other shortly before that.

In the next few years we moved several times and things were very hectic. I was fortunate enough to secure a good paying job at a local distribution center which I held on to for 7 years while she stayed home with my daughter.

Dec 7 2003, we decided that after being together for awhile that It would be best to get married. Small wedding but still nice nonetheless.

My son was borne Feb 3 2006 and we bought our first house shortly after that.

Fast forward two years and I started a new job at a local quarry here in martinsburg. Things had seemed to be going well as I was working at a good union job with great benefits and a great shift (M-F 7-3:30). However, the honeymoon did not last long as once I hit my 90 days of work completed they moved me to night shift (Fri-Tue 11 p.m. - 7 a.m.) Still though, we agreed that we would make things work, even though we would be apart 5 nights out of the week. The money was even better than before and heck, I can literally see my job from my house.

On top of all that, I am a full time student at Shepherd University. Small time liberal arts school in Shepherdstown, and I was pulling three decently long days there a week. So bascially, I was away from home a LOT of the time. Between work and school I am pulling essentialy 65-70 hours a week. On the weekends when I would get off work at 7 a.m., I would try to lay down and get some rest but they would (understandably) want to go out and do things, usually right around 9 -10 am and then expect me to jump up and go with them. I did it for awhile, but there are only so many times that you can go without sleep before it catches up to you. I mean, if someone woke you up at 2 am and wanted you to go somewhere after just having went to bed at 11, you would be a little grumpy too!

Anyways, after being on this shift for 15 months the wife basically said that she cant do it anymore and that she was moving out. Just like that! It was such a shock to me but she said that she needed time to be herself and that if things were meant to be we would get back together in the near future.

Just in the past week, on our 6 year wedding anniversary mind you, she filed for divorce. She basically says that I have been too controlling and that she no longer wants to be married to me.

Its really tough right now especially with this all coming to a head during the holidays and with us having two little ones. Hardest part is that there really isnt that smoking gun that I can point to as for what caused her to leave me. I mean, I have pretty darn good job for the area I live in, am going to college full time and am now a Junior, and I have never once been unfaithful to her or harmed her or the children in any way whatsoever. I just cant figure it out. I know that sometimes people grow apart and I accept her decision, it just really, really, hurts right now.

I know that looking back on this time that I will become a stronger better person because of everything that I am going through, but it seems like that time is forever away and will never come!

For you guys out there that have been through this, what can I do to make things easier? I took all the pictures down of her and I so that I dont continue to trick myself into thinking that we have a future together. Our final court date is just over 5 weeks out and I plan on just being a single dad of two for awhile and enjoying that. Heh, I have never lived on my own since moving out from my parents home so this will definetly be interesting! Also, I have treated myself to tickets to the Dallas game in the club section to try end ease the pain as well!!

Sorry for the long post, but every time I get to talk about it, things seem just a bit easier.

Cheers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Anyways, after being on this shift for 15 months the wife basically said that she cant do it anymore and that she was moving out. Just like that! It was such a shock to me but she said that she needed time to be herself

I'm sorry man. I'm sure you'll bounce back. You're young and are getting a degree and have a good job. You will be a great catch for a lot of women, especially in WV:)

I don't mean to kick a horse when he is down, but you REALLY think its coming out of nowhere and a shock? Sounds like you guys weren't communicating at all. Its not always one persons fault. Its just neglect by both people. If anything, she probably wasn't telling you what was bothering her. At the same time, I am sure there were signs that you could have picked up on.

Just learn from this and find someone knew to establish something much more concrete.

:cheers:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Married, divorced, engaged, split up, married........to be continued.

BTW skinz101. I'm sorry for your situation bud. Here you are working your ass off AND going to school. She doesn't deserve you. Trust me. You'll move on and find someone that does appreciate you. Be proud of what you do and don't let her take that away from you. Your hurt will subside. Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't mean to kick a horse when he is down, but you REALLY think its coming out of nowhere and a shock? Sounds like you guys weren't communicating at all. At the same time, I am sure there were signs that you could have picked up on.

:cheers:

I mean, she voiced some concerns about me working night shift, but it was either work nights for 60k a year or quit my job and work somewhere for 10$ an hour making 25k a year, thus losing our house, vehs etc.

So, yes I did realize that she had some concerns but not enough to up and walk out on me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

That sucks, man. Its almost as if you feel like you did everything right but it wasn't enough. Just not meant to be then, thats all. I remember when I broke up with my ex of 6 years and I felt that was it. I found someone 10x better. It made me realize how wrong we were for each other. I'm sure you will find someone better!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My divorce will be final any day now.

I was married 10 years. Wife decided to leave me and my son who was three at the time. This was last November. Not sure exactly what went wrong, but I think the most glaring thing was that we just have different values. Her family and mine are polar opposites and I never thought it would be a problem. Lesson learned.

After a year, I'm way happier than I was. The only problem is that my son doesnt want to spend time with his mom. After she left and went AWOL for a while, she later wanted to spend time with our son, but sadly, most of that is for the benefit of her parents. Our son is their only grandchild. So, I agreed to let her have our son 2 days a week, usually mondays and Tuesdays. But, when he goes, he freaks out, it's been very traumatic for him. I've videoed several of the times when she has picked him up and it's so sad. He gets hysterical. When he finally is back with me, it takes him a day to calm down. He's so afraid his mom is going to get him. He's actually woken up in tears on Mondays and said he doesn't want to go to school because his mom might pick him up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Divorced once. And it will remain once. There are some mistakes that are so gargantuan that if you make them again, you deserve whatever you get. :hysterical:

But that is exactly WHY there are guys that are divorced multiple times........ karma has it in for us. Either that or I was Stalin in a past life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But that is exactly WHY there are guys that are divorced multiple times........ karma has it in for us. Either that or I was Stalin in a past life.

:hysterical:

I was speaking only for myself, LD, didn't intend to call you multiple-marriers stupid by association. But......even a rat who gets shocked in a lab experiment eventually learns not to do whatever is causing the shock. :silly:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...