LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I got into a debate with a friend of mine about this. She tells me its wrong and rude to express your opinion on anything being discussed because people do not want to hear my opinion. I see it completely different. If you do not want to hear my opinion, do not bring up a topic. I think most people just dont want to hear an opinion that doesnt agree with theirs. If my opinion agrees with someone, I dont think they mind hearing it at all. If I disagree though, people dont like being told they are wrong or might be wrong. I see disagreement as an intellectual exercise that makes us all better in the long run. I can learn from someone I disagree with and either change my opinion or strengthen it based on what I hear. I think there is a lot of misinformation out there and it is my job to rid the world of ignorance (as much as I can of course). I am very open to other opinions and some of the smartest people I know disagree with me on various issues but they have facts and real information to back their claims and opinions. There are also a lot of ignorant people out there that spread their ignorance by telling other ignorant people ignorant facts. My dad was a prime example of that. He voted for whatever party he heard from last. Went to a Democratic ralley and was a Democrat after. Listens to me for an hour and was a Republican. Its not that I was trying to convert him (especially considering I am pretty moderate) but I wanted him to know why he believes what he does and he is not spreading lies and distortions to other people. That stuff is dangerous from whatever side of any argument you are on! So, what do you think? Should you express your opinion when a topic comes up or should you bite your tongue when you disagree with someone? Keep in mind I am not talking about work situations or anything like that. I am talking about every day conversations with friends, family and acquantances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Your friend is wrong. There is a better and worse way to insert your opinion, but your opinion has value and ought to be heard (at least as long as it agrees with mine) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 The answer is sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I will provide examples. You are out with your best friend and his wife. He tells you that he's excited to have bought a new home for his family. You respond with "Jeez man you couldn't have picked a worse time to buy a house." Conclusion: You're a dick. If however he is telling you that he's thinking about buying a house and you express your concern that perhaps it isn't the right time to take the plunge you're safe.... at least IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattFancy Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I don't think there is anything wrong with stating your opinion. As long as you do it without beinf rude, I don't see a problem. It seems that nowadays when people have a different opinion than most, they are labeled as "haters". I don't get that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 express your opinion in ways that dont diminish others opinions and it will never be seen as a foul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Not wrong, but very often not smart. Which is why I post on ES so much- I have all these opinions and no opportunities to share them. I keep my mouth shut in professional settings and my wife and family don't want to hear them But yah- it's generally a smart idea to keep your opinions to yourself in life, in most situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsHokieFan Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Not wrong, but very often not smart. Which is why I post on ES so much- I have all these opinions and no opportunities to share them.I keep my mouth shut in professional settings and my wife and family don't want to hear them But yah- it's generally a smart idea to keep your opinions to yourself in life, in most situations. ols +1 on all of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 or... as Teddy Roosevelt once said, "When I want your opinion I'll give it to you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Eh, I think disagreeing with people is more fun. If everyone had the same viewpoint, life would be pretty boring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 A lot of it should also depend on the subject matter and audience. I tend to keep all politics, religion and social preferences out of my professional life, but would definitely give opinions on those items at a social venue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 The answer is sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I will provide examples. You are out with your best friend and his wife. He tells you that he's excited to have bought a new home for his family. You respond with "Jeez man you couldn't have picked a worse time to buy a house." Conclusion: You're a dick. If however he is telling you that he's thinking about buying a house and you express your concern that perhaps it isn't the right time to take the plunge you're safe.... at least IMO. I think you are wrong in the first example. If you tell him "Congrats on the house but you really picked a rough time to buy", you are still expressing your opinion but at the same time, I dont think you are being a dick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Not wrong, but very often not smart. Which is why I post on ES so much- I have all these opinions and no opportunities to share them.I keep my mouth shut in professional settings and my wife and family don't want to hear them But yah- it's generally a smart idea to keep your opinions to yourself in life, in most situations. Why would you keep your opinions to yourself if someone brings up a subject? For example, your wife starts talking about a tv show you dont like. Would you just not say anything? What if your wife starts talking about a political opinion you disagree with? Wouldnt you try to show her the other side of the argument especially if her opinion is based on flimsy "facts"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissU28 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Yes, give opinions! That way you can find out who you have things in common with and gain more friends. And, in the process, weed out people that you're not going to be friends with. Not saying that you can't have friends that have opposite opinions, but I'd rather hang out with someone who has similar opinions as me on certain things than people that I constantly disagree with. I'm also inquisitive, and I like to know why people think the way they think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 A lot of it should also depend on the subject matter and audience. I tend to keep all politics, religion and social preferences out of my professional life, but would definitely give opinions on those items at a social venue. I agree with you about the professional setting. I keep those opinions to myself at work too. In a social setting, I will discuss any topic with anyone though. Hence why I try not to hang out with people from work outside of work! I think people who avoid discussing politics are idiots considering how much politics impacts our daily life! I want to know as much as possible and hear as many different views as possible! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Why would you keep your opinions to yourself if someone brings up a subject? For example, your wife starts talking about a tv show you dont like. Would you just not say anything? What if your wife starts talking about a political opinion you disagree with? Wouldnt you try to show her the other side of the argument especially if her opinion is based on flimsy "facts"? I'm not talking about trivial things like that. That's just everyday conversation. And I'm not talking about my wife. I'm talking about interaction in professional and social circles. Overall though I try to keep conversations positive- nobody likes a downer / pain in the ass. For instance I would say "I like x tv show better" rather than "y tv show sucks". I get that all out of my system here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I think you are wrong in the first example. If you tell him "Congrats on the house but you really picked a rough time to buy", you are still expressing your opinion but at the same time, I dont think you are being a dick. Because you're inferring he's an idiot for buying a house right now. Which even if you're right will only serve to show him how smart you are and him to feel doubt. So I guess for me if my opinion is after the fact and will only serve to make someone feel bad I'll just keep it to myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Because you're inferring he's an idiot for buying a house right now. Which even if you're right will only serve to make you feel and show him how smart you are and him to feel doubt. So I guess for me if my opinion is after the fact and will only serve to make someone feel bad I'll just keep it to myself. Yah. For some people though- their need to express their opinion trumps any type of social consideration. I get the feeling that the OP is that guy- hence his friend's constructive criticism Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I agree with you about the professional setting. I keep those opinions to myself at work too. In a social setting, I will discuss any topic with anyone though. Hence why I try not to hang out with people from work outside of work! I think people who avoid discussing politics are idiots considering how much politics impacts our daily life! I want to know as much as possible and hear as many different views as possible! I'll talk politics with people who I know a) like to talk about politics or have a similar viewpoint to mine. The problem with cornering a stranger at a Christmas Party and telling them your opinion on global warming is just that it is rude. You are being a bummer. It's not so much that opinions are like *******s. It's more like *******s have the strongest opinions. Nobody likes a blowhard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 Because you're inferring he's an idiot for buying a house right now. Which even if you're right will only serve to show him how smart you are and him to feel doubt. So I guess for me if my opinion is after the fact and will only serve to make someone feel bad I'll just keep it to myself. Two things: 1- His wife was present and you questioned his judgment for what is best for his family in front of her. Big no no amongst male friends. 2- He already bought it, he can't change his mind, and he's excited about it. Telling him that it was a bad decision rains on his parade and makes him have to defend his decision instead of celebrate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 I get the feeling that the OP is that guy- hence his friend's constructive criticism The people who should keep their opinions to themselves tend to be the people who present their opinions "These are the reasons you are wrong about everything."\ She tells me its wrong and rude to express your opinion on anything being discussed because people do not want to hear my opinion. The question I have is which word is emphasized. Is it: "Your OPINION." Or "YOUR opinion." I could just be you, dude. Judging by your name, you either play or once played lacrosse. So, you are probably inadvertantly obnoxious occasionally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 It's not so much that opinions are like *******s. It's more like *******s have the strongest opinions. Nobody likes a blowhard. The people who should keep their opinions to themselves tend to be the people who present their opinions /thread (however, unlike you, I have no problem talking politics/religion with those who I know want to, whether they agree or not. My father in law is one such person. He is a Hannity chain-email / Obama-is-a-muslim type. And he loves getting into it. Fine, I'll indulge. Amazing to me that someone so intelligent (he is a mechanical engineer) can be so dumb ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Yes, give opinions! That way you can find out who you have things in common with and gain more friends. And, in the process, weed out people that you're not going to be friends with. Not saying that you can't have friends that have opposite opinions, but I'd rather hang out with someone who has similar opinions as me on certain things than people that I constantly disagree with. I'm also inquisitive, and I like to know why people think the way they think. I like a good mix of both kinds of friends. I love a friend I can disagree with and enjoy the discussion. I dont like people who are narrow minded and think their opinion is right with no real basis for it other than "because I said so!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Because you're inferring he's an idiot for buying a house right now. Which even if you're right will only serve to show him how smart you are and him to feel doubt. So I guess for me if my opinion is after the fact and will only serve to make someone feel bad I'll just keep it to myself. Maybe he didnt realize it was a bad time to buy? Maybe he didnt realize how in over his head he is and now can do something about it before he cannot afford his mortgage (like so many people these days). Those are always possibilities. If someone told me that, I would say thanks and you may be right but we felt it was the right time for us to buy regardless. End of discussion. No reason to get pissy over it. People need to learn to take criticism. I dont think the person giving the criticism is the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted December 15, 2009 Share Posted December 15, 2009 should be noted in this thread however that there are a lot of thin skinned people out there that don't like anyone to say anything that isn't in agreement with them. They are arguably more annoying to deal with than people with strong opinions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted December 15, 2009 Author Share Posted December 15, 2009 Yah.For some people though- their need to express their opinion trumps any type of social consideration. I get the feeling that the OP is that guy- hence his friend's constructive criticism Social consideration is code for dont offend anyone. I think the people getting offended by opinions that they dont agree with are the ones with the problem by far. I have no problem with people expressing positive or negative opinions with me at all so why should I treat others any different. I am tired of people saying dont say certain things because so and so might get offended. That kind of stuff is killing this country! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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