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Funny NFC Take


KirkNC

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Dallas Cowboys – If you’re a fan of a football team on which Chad Hutchinson and Quincy Carter are battling for the starting quarterback job, begin drinking immediately and heavily. To make matters worse, in his book The Final Season: My Last Year as Head Coach in the NFL (2000), 61-year-old Bill Parcells stated that “I don’t intend to be coaching when I’m 60.” So there’s a good chance he’ll just be standing there on the sidelines, staring off into space most days.
New York Giants – Ever the motivator, Giants coach Jim Fassel spent a large part of the offseason honing his emotional manipulation techniques. He reportedly took acting classes to learn how to look really sad and cry on demand, as well as spending some time with U.S. Special Ops forces in case his team’s performance warrants taking a hostage. “It’s like a game now,” said a team source. “We play crappy, he pulls out the cheap theatrics, we play better. It’s like dinner theater on steroids.”

Philadelphia Eagles – The Eagles leave behind Veterans Stadium, famous for severing the ligaments of players’ knees, and move to Lincoln Financial Field, a stadium named for a president that was shot in the head. “The City of Brotherly Love”? How about “The City of Wrenching Pain”?

Washington Redskins – Pressed for comment on the Redskins’ signing of four Jets in the offseason, a team official quipped, “We have one scout. He was supposed to be scouring the country for talent, but I’ve got 6,435 receipts for room service and cable porn that indicate he never left New York City. He apparently managed to make it to a few Jets games, though.”
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things with Parcells changed when he and his wife divorced. I think she was the driving force behind his not taking other jobs in 2001 and 2002.

anyone that thinks Bill is going to just stand on the sidelines and pick up a paycheck doesn't understand the competitive nature of sports :)

any of the successful coaches, Walsh, Gibbs, Landry, and Parcells of recent vintage are driven to be the best in whatever they choose to do.

to me it is inconceivable that Parcells would say to himself 'well, I am being well paid, 7-9 is fine for a couple of seasons and then I can go fishing again'..................

Parcells may not be able to climb the hill again with Dallas but it won't be because he refuses to put in the time or effort to make it happen..........

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Washington Redskins – Pressed for comment on the Redskins’ signing of four Jets in the offseason, a team official quipped, “We have one scout. He was supposed to be scouring the country for talent, but I’ve got 6,435 receipts for room service and cable porn that indicate he never left New York City. He apparently managed to make it to a few Jets games, though.”

I have to admit that is pretty damn funny!

:laugh: :laugh:

:eaglesuck :dallasuck :gaintsuck

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"Jacksonville Jaguars – Since entering the NFL in ’95, the Jags have been to the playoffs four times and played in the AFC Championship game twice. They have the highest winning percentage among all franchises. And you know what? No one cares. I checked. No one. Is Jacksonville even in the United States?"

Now, thats funny.

Being a BC grad, I did follow Coughlin a bit. But there's no doubt that Jax, Carolina, and Seattle are the most irreleveant and hard to follow teams in the NFL. Possibly in all of sports. Maybe in the history of organized competition.

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Tampa Bay Buccaneers – While there’s nothing funny about ramming a car carrying your wife, your son, and your babysitter, Bucs running back Michael Pittman seems to have inadvertently given new meaning to the phrase “banging two women at the same time.” The Bucs won’t repeat as champs, mostly because nobody does but also because they don’t seem to be handling success all that well.

LOL

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Originally posted by js79

Tampa Bay Buccaneers – While there’s nothing funny about ramming a car carrying your wife, your son, and your babysitter, Bucs running back Michael Pittman seems to have inadvertently given new meaning to the phrase “banging two women at the same time.” The Bucs won’t repeat as champs, mostly because nobody does but also because they don’t seem to be handling success all that well.

LOL

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :quickie: thought I'd throw in a new one

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