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Payback for Telemarketers

Johnny Punani2

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We get a lot of calls at work from telemarketers who've bought a list of businesses, and the names of the owners. Every time the phone rings and the guy at the other end begins with "Let me speak to Romulous", (about 1 in 40 can pronounce the name without stuttering), we know it's a telemarketer, since anybody who knows our owner knows he doesn't work here. (Of course, they don't identify themselves, or their company, or their product: They just expect the owner of the business to drop what he's doing right now so he can listen to a sales pitch.)

I keep swearing that when I've got time (yeah, right), my response is going to be "Let me talk to the owner of your company."

After all, why should the owner of my company drop what he's doing to talk to a salesman, if the owner of your company won't drop what he's doing to talk to a potential customer?

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If I have the time I try to screw with the telemarketers as much as I can. One time I asked the girl that called what she was wearing, (which usually gets rid of them pretty quickly, but not this telemarketer), then my part of the conversation just got more and more perverted. I gotta give the girl props though, she stayed the course and got through her whole script. It finally ended when she asked for the money for this coupon booklet she was selling, I told her that I spent my last $50 on KY and whipped cream, she hung up after that. The tough part was not busting up laughing while I was saying this stuff b/c my girlfirend was listening in and absolutely cracking up.

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