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The Incompetency Thread

Mark The Homer

By Mark The Homer
in The Tailgate

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Mark The Homer

Mark The Homer

Posted
Posted

So it's late February and my 18 yr old daughter needs a passport for a cruise she's going to take in early April. We go to the Post Office, they tell us the fees total around $120 or so, and the entire process takes 2-4 weeks, but lately applications have been arriving closer to two weeks. Otherwise, we can expedite it for an additional $60 and the passport will arrive in less than two weeks. We say we'll just take the normal 2-4 week route and save the $60 since we have a five week window.

Sure enough, four weeks come and go. No passport. :doh:

We try to contact the passport office to find out what's going on. There is a new message now. Now they say at their website that the normal processing time is 4-6 weeks :doh:

However, the good news is, the website says we can call and check the status of the passport by entering out daughter's SS#, and at least see how far along they are. But when I click to look for that number, here's the message:

Due to higher than expected call volume, we are experiencing longer than normal hold times. Please call back during the off-peak hours of 7:00pm to 10:00pm Eastern Time. You may also check the status of your passport application online.

1-877-4-USA-PPT (1-877-487-2778)

http://travel.state.gov/passport/about/npic/npic_898.html :doh:

Okay.

Thankfully, there's a link there that I can use to check the status online. I click on it.

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/status/status_2567.html

But when I click that link, here's the message:

Checking the Status of Your Application

The Online Passport Application Status Check is temporarily unavailable due to routine maintenance.

If you are not traveling in the next 14 days, please return to check the status of your passport application at a later date.

If you are traveling in the next 14 days and need to check the status of a pending passport application, please contact the National Passport Information Center.

:doh:

These messages above are fixed messages. The do not change and have not changed over the past week, no matter when you check them, morning, noon, night, weekends, weekdays, whatever.

If you do as they say above, they bring you back to the prior webpage and you're back at square one. :doh:

If you do as they direct you and call them in the weekday evening between 7 PM and 10 PM, you get placed on hold for one full hour. There is a voice that comes on about every 30 seconds assuring you that you are in the queue and you will be served shortly. After about one hour, you are disconnected. :doh:

This has been going on all week.

Frankly, I'd have more respect for them if they had simply referred me to this webpage:

http://www.oblius.com/images/blogs/middle-finger.jpg

At least then, they'd have been honest.

Desperate, we contact the cruise line and finally find out my daughter can travel with a driver's license and certified birth certificate. But it has to be certified, and not just a copy.

Unfortunately, we were forced to surrender the only copy of her birth certificate with her passport application. So we have no birth certificate.

This means we now have to deal with the Div of Vital Statistics for the State of Maryland.

Thinking the nightmare may be over with a phone call, we read:

Birth certificates for individuals born in Maryland after 1939 are also available for same day service at local health departments in all jurisdictions except Montgomery County...

http://www.vsa.state.md.us/html/apps.cfm

:doh:

So this means we have no choice but to drive, in person, to Reisterstown Rd in Baltimore to apply for a copy of the birth certificate, and we must do it in person within their normal business hours.

Marvelous.

The good news is, we did that yesterday and all is well. So ends my story.

I would feel better if somebody else out there has a story of equal ineptness.

Thanks

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armstrong001

armstrong001

Posted
Posted

Yeah. I've been there. You should double any time frame mentioned when the Federal Government is involved. There is no recourse when they screw things up (which seems to be often), so you have to plan on the worst case scenario.

Glad to hear that you've got an alternate way of getting things done. Is she not stopping in another country? I thought for sure that if you stop somewhere, you have to have a passport... Could be wrong.

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Duckus

Duckus

Posted
Posted

One other thing you could have tried was to call your congressman's district office.

My family traveled abroad a lot (especially in summers) for the non-profit work my parents did for a living. One year we realized a few weeks before we departed for Europe that my brother's passport was expired. We had trouble reaching anybody who could help us so we called our congressman's local/district office in charge of constituent outreach. We told them our story and they had it done in like 4 days. Though, this was before 9/11 and all, so maybe Congressman can no longer request this.

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Special K

Special K

Posted
Posted

That's our government at work for ya! :dunce: :thumbsup:

Also, AT MINIMUM, double the time frame they estimate.

Double also, if possible, apply for passports 6 months prior to any international trip...because our government's just that incompetent.

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Spec138

Spec138

Posted
Posted
Okay, on that topic I have a stupid question. In a few weeks, I'm going to Hawaii. There's no reason to bring my passport is there? I know you do these days for Puerto Rico, but Hawaii is one of the fifty, right?

Last time I checked it was a state.

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Spec138

Spec138

Posted
Posted
Okay, on that topic I have a stupid question. In a few weeks, I'm going to Hawaii. There's no reason to bring my passport is there? I know you do these days for Puerto Rico, but Hawaii is one of the fifty, right?quote]

Dude they're 50 states but Hawaii is actually a terrutory. P3nD!

I'm pretty sure it's a state. This is the same kind of argument people use to say Texas isn't a state.

Also, P3nD fail.

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twa

twa

Posted
Posted
Okay, on that topic I have a stupid question. In a few weeks, I'm going to Hawaii. There's no reason to bring my passport is there? I know you do these days for Puerto Rico, but Hawaii is one of the fifty, right?

Only the big Island;)

but if that puts ya in a bind I will take your tickets:evilg:

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pjfootballer

pjfootballer

Posted
Posted
Okay, on that topic I have a stupid question. In a few weeks, I'm going to Hawaii. There's no reason to bring my passport is there? I know you do these days for Puerto Rico, but Hawaii is one of the fifty, right?

My wife and I are going to Hawaii in May. You do not need a passport unless you are flying from Hawaii to another country or territory. As long as you go from the mainland to Hawaii and back, you do not need a passport.

And why do people wait until the last minute to renew or get a passport? If you know you'll be traveling out of the country, give yourself a minimum of 6 months to get it done. Saves alot of headaches.

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Mark The Homer

Mark The Homer

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...And why do people wait until the last minute to renew or get a passport? If you know you'll be traveling out of the country, give yourself a minimum of 6 months to get it done. Saves alot of headaches.
The trip came out of nowhere. It's a gift from my daughter's grandmother (my mother in law). We applied for the passport within 48 hours and were confidently assured we had more than enough time.
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Burgold

Burgold

Posted
Posted
Wow dude...really?

lol. I wasn't asking if Hawaii was a state. What I was asking is if because it was a separated island and not one of the continental states if they had different airport security and required a passport or if there were some short trips I might make from there where having a passport might be handy.

And thanks for the answers (I knew what I was getting into in asking the question. Schmart arses! )

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Thiebear

Thiebear

Posted
Posted

I was allowed to use birth certs for the girls and a drivers license for me since we were not actually going. (March 21st). Attended a wedding onboard and then got off the Liberty Ship.

The security people on the ship said easily 2-4 months in florida to get one.

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IONTOP

IONTOP

Posted
Posted
lol. I wasn't asking if Hawaii was a state. What I was asking is if because it was a separated island and not one of the continental states if they had different airport security and required a passport or if there were some short trips I might make from there where having a passport might be handy.

And thanks for the answers (I knew what I was getting into in asking the question. Schmart arses! )

Watch out for the snakes on your return flight...

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Mark The Homer

Mark The Homer

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Okay, time for another incompetency story. And btw, although today is April 1st, this has nothign to do with April Fools. This is real.

Since the city didn't lay gas lines this far out, I have propane tanks here at my house -two of them. They're supposed to be filled automatically by the company. We use propane for the stove top and to heat the half the house which has the kitchen, bathroom, dining room - basically all the rooms where we live our lives.

One October five or six years ago, it occured to me that we haven't had a refill recently. I checked the tanks and the meter read about 20 out of 80. I called the company and advised them. They said they'd get to it.

Well, sure enough, two months later, no propane. I check the tanks again, now the meter says 10 out of 80. It was the second week of December, and with the cold weather coming, I knew I'd run out soon.

I called the company and told them the problem. They said they'd send somebody out.

Roughly a week later, we received a bill in the mail from them. What was odd was, nobody ever put a slip in the door. Normal procedure is, they fill our tanks, put a slip in the door, then bill us by mail. We never got the slip in the door. So I walk out to the tanks and check the meter just to make sure. It's reading 5 out of 20.

By this time it's around December 22nd, something like that. I call the company. The lady says she doesn't understand it because their records show that propane was delivered. I tell her it hasn't been delivered and they need to come out here because we're almost out and Christmas is only a few days away. I told her I definitely did not want to run out during the holiday. The lady told me they would send a truck out here the very next day and fill the tanks. Definitely.

Cool.

Next day, I wait. Nobody shows up all day. About 4 PM I call them. The lady tells me she'll call the driver when he gets back and find out what's going on.

Marvelous.

About an hour later, she calls me back. She says she talked to the driver, and the driver says he came by and filled my tanks. The lady has this rural-country Maryland accent and the conversation went something like this:

Me: "Are you sure? I've been here all day and I didn't see him and I didn't hear him."

Her: "Yes, I'm sure. I just talked to him."

Me: "Okay, can you hang on while I check the meters outside?"

Her: "Sure."

I go out and check the meters. There's two, one for each tank. They both read 3 out of 80.

Me: "My tanks are reading about 3. They're almost empty."

Her: (puts me on hold for a minute, talks to somebody, comes back) "Sir, the needle is probably stuck due to the unusually cold weather we've been having. It's probably frozen in place."

Me: "I really don't think it's stuck. I've been here all day. I didn't see the driver. I didn't hear the driver. And the needle reads 3. It's pretty obvious to me he hasn't been here."

Her: "Sir, I just talked to him. He told me he was there and he filled your tanks."

Me: "Okay, what if I run out?"

Her: "Call us and we'll send a truck out right away."

Me: "What if I run out Christmas Eve?"

Her: "We have a 24 hour emergency line. Call us and we'll send somebody out. But that won't be necessary because our driver just filled your tanks."

Me: "...okay."

I felt I had no choice but to drop it. They're the professionals. I'm just an idiot homeowner. What do I know? If they insist I have propane, then who am I to question them? This is, after all, their job, their livelihood.

That night while I was laying in bed, something else occurred to me. I did not get the slip. Nobody put the slip in my door! This is just one more layer on the stack of evidence that pretty much proves nobody has delivered my propane.

So the next day, as I remember, was a Friday. Christmas Eve would be Saturday. I checked my meters. They still read 3.

I call the company again. I get the same lady on the phone. I explain to her that I also did not get the little slip in my door, which proves to me that no propane was delivered.

Her: "Sir, you have your propane. Propane has been delivered to your residence."

See - she's becoming irritated with me now. :) She's becoming weary of my phone calls, she's tired of hearing my voice, she's becoming angry with me, and she wants me to stop bugging her. :)

Me: "Okay."

What else could I do? I had done everything I could think of to convince them that I wasn't delivered propane. And, after all, there was a small chance that she was correct - and the driver did deliver the propane, the driver did place the slip in the door and it blew away, and although I was home and expecting the driver he somehow quietly pulled into my driveway and delivered it without my seeing or hearing him, and the needle was actually frozen in place on not one, but both tanks. I had to admit it was possible all this happened. But I doubted it.

On Christmas Eve, at 9:15 PM, we ran out of propane.

I call them.

They refused to send a truck out because it was Christmas Eve and I had an alternative heat source (an old WWII vintage oil burner which heated a total of one room and one hallway). It didn't matter that I had no heat in my kitchen or bathroom and it didn't matter I had no way to cook my food. I was told they would not be able to deliver propane to me until the following week.

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