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Michigan man jailed for "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a carwash


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Swan Creek Township, Michigan, man jailed for activity at car wash

by The Saginaw News

October 17, 2008

A 29-year-old Swan Creek Township man was in the Saginaw County Jail for "receiving sexual favors from a vacuum" at a Thomas Township car wash, police say.

A Thomas Township resident called police to report "someone acting suspicious" at a car wash around 6:45 a.m. Thursday, said Police Sgt. Gary Breidinger.

The officer parked some distance away, approached on foot and caught the man in the act, Breidinger said.

"I've seen some strange things, but this is the weirdest thing I ever heard," he said.

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Wasn't there a thought process somewhere, that said....

Let's see, I have 2 choices.....

1) I could either buy a used vacuum for about $30 and enjoy sexual satisfaction freely at home.....

or I could...

2) Risk jail time, fines, court, Sex Offender status, AND public humiliation, HOWEVER only pay 50 cents at a public vacuum.

Easy, I'll do #2 !!!!

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I don't know if Michigan gives it's sex offenders the pumpkin signs for their doors at Halloween like Maryland; but this guy deserves his own flashing neon sign.

They do......he won't be allowed to reside within 10 miles of a public school, or 5 miles away from a car wash.

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I think the vacuum was asking for it...it was probably giving him the eye.

Oh yeah, I totally agree. Probably had one of those really skimpy, see-thru bags with the pine scented option. I mean, if you're going to flaunt it like that, what do you expect? Friggin hypocritical vacuums with their "look, but don't use me as a masturbation tool" attitudes.

But seriously. Last time I vacuumed my car using one of those car wash deals, I distinctly remember that (a) the suction power seemed far greater than my vacuum at home, and (B) the intake nozzle was pretty thin and narrow.

I'll just throw that out there and let your imagination run with that one.

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Let's see, I have 2 choices.....

1) I could either buy a used vacuum for about $30 and enjoy sexual satisfaction freely at home.....

or I could...

2) Risk jail time, fines, court, Sex Offender status, AND public humiliation, HOWEVER only pay 50 cents at a public vacuum.

Those car wash vacuums can be pretty sexy. They have curves in all the right places.

And those used vacuums you find at yard sales can be rather skanky.

:silly:

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