DancesInEndzone Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 own up to your actions and the responsibility to make it right. seek help, STOP DRINKING!!!!! period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark The Homer Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 My favorite definition of an alcoholic: One who's alcohol consumption causes him serious life problems. Is this a serious life problem? It can become one if this continues. IMO, I would say you are okay if you are able to control your drinking in the future so that you don't get to the intoxication point that you were the other night. If you can't do that, you need to stop drinking completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrumanB Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 The girls are both friends with my friends, so I think I'll be ok in the legal area. One already said she won't press charges, the other I have no clue Famous last words. :doh: You're even a bigger fool if you believe that one or both of these girls won't file charges against you. I'm not saying that either one will, but you plan for the worst possible scenario. My advice to you is to keep your mouth shut and don't admit to anything. Once you start apologizing to everyone, you essentially admit that you did something inappropriate. The last thing you want is to get convicted of a sexual crime because you'll be branded for life. :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ldysknzfn1 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Stop drinking! That's the answer to ensuring this behavior won't occur again....since that seems to be the only time you have this problem. As for the girl...get in touch w/her and apologize to her. Explain your situation and tell her you're quitting drinking or at least gonna get help for it. And ask her to find it in her heart to forgive you. Get some help w/the drinking and apologize to your friends as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cannonshogs44 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Famous last words. :doh: You're even a bigger fool if you believe that one or both of these girls won't file charges against you. I'm not saying that either one will, but you plan for the worst possible scenario. My advice to you is to keep your mouth shut and don't admit to anything. Once you start apologizing to everyone, you essentially admit that you did something inappropriate. The last thing you want is to get convicted of a sexual crime because you'll be branded for life. :2cents: The above is so true....You had better hope she does not file charges....You had better hope she was not under the age of 18.....You should hope she does not ever see what you have posted here due to a subpoena of ES. records. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coooleeey Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Dude, just lay off the sauce for a little bit and be careful whenever you drink. You aren't even 21 yet, you have a lot to learn about how to handle alcohol should you decide to handle it at all. I made some stupid choices when I was your age as well. A previous poster mentioned this as well, these are lessons you learn in life. You made a bad choice. The older you get the more responsible you become with alcohol. If I were you I would take it easy for a while and maybe when you are 21 you can drink responsibly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thanos Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Seems you are more worried about your reputation than the young lady or your health. You could have easily been robbed or assaulted while in a stupor.Excessive drinking ,especially in a public place is not the way to go. You can always find a new circle of friends or hanging buddies,but some things are just more important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I'd probably appologize, but that's me. If consequences come from it, so be it. Yes, it may hurt you if they press charges, but having seen the after effects of assaults I'd be doing everything in my power to not have the women think that it was one. That trauma sucks, and if hurting me got them over it...again, that's me. As for drinking: Honestly, you could become the new in guy for all parties. Be the designated driver. As somebody who took soccer seriously, I was the DD for years! Don't sweat the not drinking part at parties. You can drive people home, you can go the infamous "need moe beer" run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OVCChairman Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I was really ... really drunk. The article you posted is interesting, but I haven't done anything like this before while just sleeping normally, or at least I haven't been told. But to clarify, I was pretty much half-asleep and completely intoxicated. I didn't know what I was doing, I don't know if I have something like this disorder, but regardless ...Guys, I want to thank you for your quick responses. Please keep them coming. Just know that like I said, I will find get into contact with both with help of my friend, and I've made the decision to stop drinking. First off, you are 20. You dont drink "casually." GENERALLY (not all the time) people who drink under age, drinks to get sloppy, because it's not something you can really do regularly. I used to party a lot, drinking to get drunk, but since i've turned 21, i generally dont get hammered anymore, of course there are times i have too much, but i also am familiar with myself because i've experienced it more. WHen you are that young, drinking is still new, and i know i'm young too, but i've been able to drink legally for a couple years, and i understand my levels. JUST like last thursday, and you can ask Slacky about this. I was in a bad mood and i had a bit too much to drink, so i decided to just go home, because i knew i was feeling it too much (among other things). What you did is what any guy would do. If you are in bed with a girl that you might be interested on, you are going to see what you can do. It's physical attraction. But understand with that risk that comes consequenses. With that risk comes the fact that you might offend people. You had mentioned that you two had spoken earlier in the night, was there any "leading on" or did you get a vibe from her that she was interested in you? What caused you to actually make a move? Just because you get extremely drunk doesnt mean you have a problem but you NEED to learn from what happened. You need to monitor yourself a bit and understand your limits. Get your mentality correct before you start drinking like that again and understand what you have done and learn from it. I think you should extend your apology to the girl, and speak to her personally. 1-on-1 so you can show her you really are as a person instead of her only knowing you in a drinking environment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Redskins Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 If I were you I would take it easy for a while and maybe when you are 21 you can drink responsibly. Perhaps we have different definitions of "drinking responsibly," but I know that not a lot of 21 year olds do that :laugh: Guys, I think you should lay off the guy a little. I'm not saying what he did was right by any stretch of the imagination, but he's not an alcoholic, nor does he have a "drinking problem." To say as much is insulting to anyone that has had to put in hard work to get rid of an addiction or drinking problem. He's 20, and he's in college, and he got drunk of his ass. You know what, that's probably happened to every single person on this board. Hero21, I'm glad you acknowledged that what you did was wrong, and are taking steps to correct it. I'm not sure what the right way is to go about this, but maybe you do need to monitor your alcohol intake a little bit. Make sure you don't put yourself in situations where you know you might be tempted to drink-and-grope. I will say that's its extremely unfortunate that you chose to feel up a girl who would have that kind of reaction (as opposed to a far more favorable reaction), but at least you can make sure something like that doesn't happen again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heavens Safety 21 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Ok this is what I think about the situation and this is coming from a girl that gets groped or assaulted in some way almost on a daily basis. Now I am not a slutty girl that asks for this, but I do know that I am an attractive female and most men dont know how to control their actions. I get grabbed in my ass or chest almost every time I go out to a bar. I have had guys tell me to my face that they would F**k the **** out of me. I get men who pass me on the road that write signs on how sexy I am and give me the conalingus mouth gesture. Now all of this is very disrepectful to a female and it makes me very uncomfortable. I have ignored it, cussed and been a ***** right back, thrown a drink, had men thrown out several times and it never changes or stops. I do know on the other hand that some men are just disgusting and obviously dont know how to treat a girl, but their are also men that are generally nice guys, but once they have a few drinks they become another person. Either way its still not ok. Judging from what you wrote I can tell that you are geniunely sorry and didnt mean what you did. Unfortuantely it doesnt erase what happen. If I was in that position and someone did that to me that I didnt know I would have probably kicked him in the nuts has hard as I could and then gone to the police to report it. If it was someone I knew I would probably throw them off me and tell them if they ever did that again I will report them and have my bf/husband kick their ass. Things happen when you drink that you normally wouldnt do. There must be something inside you that makes you do this and if you can not control it, then you need to stop drinking around females, all together, or learn only to have a few. You never want to be put in a situation where you end up doing that to the wrong girl and she or her bf/husband hurts you, or you end up in jail for a long time. Just be careful you never know what someone else would do in that siutation. For the girl I would apologize to her once and let her know that you will stop drinking so this never happens again and then stay away from her. This is something that could have really scarred her or it can blow over. Either way keep your distance. I hope this helps a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prosperity Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 1. take responsobility for your action, beer didn't grope her, you did 2. apologize 3. drink a lot less 4. try not to dwell on it too much, that won't do a lot of good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coooleeey Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 First off, you are 20. You dont drink "casually." GENERALLY (not all the time) people who drink under age, drinks to get sloppy, because it's not something you can really do regularly. I used to party a lot, drinking to get drunk, but since i've turned 21, i generally dont get hammered anymore, of course there are times i have too much, but i also am familiar with myself because i've experienced it more. WHen you are that young, drinking is still new, and i know i'm young too, but i've been able to drink legally for a couple years, and i understand my levels.JUST like last thursday, and you can ask Slacky about this. I was in a bad mood and i had a bit too much to drink, so i decided to just go home, because i knew i was feeling it too much (among other things). What you did is what any guy would do. If you are in bed with a girl that you might be interested on, you are going to see what you can do. It's physical attraction. But understand with that risk that comes consequenses. With that risk comes the fact that you might offend people. You had mentioned that you two had spoken earlier in the night, was there any "leading on" or did you get a vibe from her that she was interested in you? What caused you to actually make a move? Just because you get extremely drunk doesnt mean you have a problem but you NEED to learn from what happened. You need to monitor yourself a bit and understand your limits. Get your mentality correct before you start drinking like that again and understand what you have done and learn from it. I think you should extend your apology to the girl, and speak to her personally. 1-on-1 so you can show her you really are as a person instead of her only knowing you in a drinking environment. Perfect advice. And without knowing the whole situation I would say that maybe she blew it out of proportion. If you are "friends" with her, she is sleeping next to you and you are both wasted then I would say lessoned learned by both parties. You know to not put the moves on a chick when you are inebriated. She knows not to sleep next to drunk boys. When everyone is underage and wasted the lines are so blurry. Honestly when I started reading your post I figured it was a "I got drunk and cheated on my girlfriend" type deal cause a lot of that nonsense happens at your age in the college situation. Of course this is just my opinion and you all are free to blast it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 figure out the best way to get in touch with her, apologize profusely like you did here.And don't drink to that point anymore. That's the answer. To go a step further, if you can't control yourself when drinking, don't drink. Probably you don't need to go that far. It sounds like two isolated events that sober you would never have done. But you need to be in control. If you can't stop or aren't good at that... you can still have a good time without drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGreenistheBest Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Alternatively, stop going to parties where there are girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the burgundy and gold Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 i would appologize asap... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Novus Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Um... the kid is 20 and did something stupid when he was drunk. And now all of a sudden he's an alcoholic and should never drink again? Sounds kind of ridiculous to me. This type of rationale is the exact reason why people have substance abuse problems or gambling problems or eating disorders. It's all about moderation and being in control of your life. If you are able to recognize your limits and take CONTROL of the situation, then you'll be fine. He knows he messed up and wants to fix it. But just saying you're an alcoholic because you did something stupid when you were drunk, and then stopping cold turkey is asking for bigger problems later on in life. It's the benge and purge factor. If you like drinking and you're not breaking any laws (I'm ignoring the fact that the person in question is 20), then it's okay to drink. Just know your limits. If you like a big mac every now and then, EAT ONE. If you like playing cards with your buddies every other weekend and betting a few bucks, do it! If you like having a cold one at a game or to relax over the weekend, have fun! It's the secret to having a happy life, folks. Amazing. People go to rehab because they no longer have the ability to control what they do on a day to day basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexey Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 Sounds like somebody needs to stay away from the alkihol... (yes you would prefer to keep drinking and have their BFs beat you up instead) Some people are predisposed to do stupid things when they are drunk. They tend to learn staying away from alcohol the hard way. A friend of mine had to get 3 DWIs and look directly at hard jail time before he learned... The way you learn is up to you. The place you find yourself in 5-10 years very much depends on the way you choose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiveStrongSkins Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You need to quit drinking because it is obvious you have no self control when you drink. Not saying you are a bad person, but do you have any clue what you are doing to yourself? Alcohol is a depressant, and if you keep drinking to that point it is only a matter of time before you die from alcohol poisoning/respiratory arrest, get charged with rape, or get behind the wheel and do major damage to yourself and others. You need to be much more careful because if that girl wanted to, you could most definetly have a rape charge on your record. Rape isn't just intercourse. You either need to quit or seriously work on your self control. Alot of people dont believe me when I tell them how that much alcohol can cause respiratory arrest. Everyone has a limit. I've had two patients since New Years die from respiratory arrest secondary to alcohol poisoning. It depresses your nervous system, slows down your breathing, you dont get enough oxygen, then your heart fails. Drinking to get ****faced is very dangerous and most dont know it until it happens to them or a friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruggala Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 1. Extremeskins is def the best place to get advice about this. Great idea. Asking total strangers is WAY better than talking to a priest, your parents, a therapist, etc. 2. Man up and learn how to drink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 *yawn* A lot of people trying to scare you on this board, lol. Do you think a week from now after you all get drunk again, anyone will remember what happened that night? Just don't mention anything and it'll all go away. If anyone brings it up, just say that you don't remember that and that your friends probably made it up. How do you know they didn't? Seriously though, if she didn't want to be groped, she shouldn't have been near you, knowing you were drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinnessean Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 I've already sworn off getting drunk ever again. If I ever drink, it will be a couple. .... Yeah, I've "sworn off getting drunk" once or twice...at least until the hangover goes away. Sounds like you need a new group of girls to hang out with. BOO-YAHH!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 You know what you need to do. Maybe you need to hear it from someone else, and I think you have in this thread. Stop drinking. Completely. Tell your friends you are not drinking anymore and to not serve you at their parties. After you've apologized, tell this girl you're actions have made you realize you have a problem and that you will never drink in her presence again, if she's willing to be in your presence ever again. You don't sound like a bad guy. You sound like you want to do the right thing. The right thing isn't always easy. In fact, it usually isn't. Do the right thing. Stop drinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OVCChairman Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 1. Extremeskins is def the best place to get advice about this. Great idea. Asking total strangers is WAY better than talking to a priest, your parents, a therapist, etc.2. Man up and learn how to drink actually this is a great place for advice. It's completely UNBIASED. Priest is going to say what he did was wrong and try to steer him towards god. A therapist is gonna cost a lot of money Parents are going to be upset and start a fight about it, while still trying to defend him in their own eyes. Nobody on here knows the guy or the girl personally, so it's an outside take on things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 If it was my little sister or daughter, I would probably be in jail right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.