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Dan Snyder's ES Coaching Search, Part Deux


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(h_h's original thread here http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=236073 for those of you that missed it :notworthy )

Snyder: Well Vincent, I gotta admit, I'm a little weary about interviewing any more candidates from ES. The last batch were pretty bad.

Cerrato: Don't worry sir, I'm not sure how that gang of misfits made it past the screeners. I assure you I've assembled an extremely talented list of candidates from the ES community for this next round.

Snyder: Sigh. Okay whatever, let's get started.

Cerrato: Great. Okay, first up... AJ_Skins

Snyder AJ_Skins? WTF kind of name is that?

Cerrato: Just roll with it.


Snyder: Have a seat AJ. Why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself.

AJ_Skins: Sure, in a minute. Where's Patrick?

Cerrato: Patrick?

AJ_Skins: Yah, you know, Patrick. I was told I would get to meet him.

Snyder: What Patrick are you talking about?

AJ_Skins: mmmmm... 6'2" Patrick Ramsey. Top High School prospect from Louisiana, standout QB at Tulane... rocket arm, 1st round NFL pick. Chiseled, masculine features, rounded off at the edges. Dark, dreamy eyes, like midnight during a new moon. Taught, firm buttocks, pouty lips...

Snyder: SECURITY!!!!!!


Snyder: What in the hell was that?

Cerrato: Umm, I was hoping he'd moved past that. ummm...errr... Let's interview another candidate, shall we?

Snyder: Okay whatever. Who do we have?

Cerrato: I think you'll really like this next candidate. His name is The Longshot.

Snyder: Great, bring him in.


Snyder: Hmmm.... it says here your name is The Longshot. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

The Longshot: Yes sir, Snyder sir. Sir, I just want to thank you for the wonderful opportunity to finally meet you. I must say, it is a dream come true.


Snyder: Umm... Thank you.

The Longshot: And Mr. Cerrato sir, may I just say that I am so happy for you in your new position. Great news indeed.


Cerrato Ummm, right. So why don't we get down to business. Tell us why you think you're the best candidate for the job.

The Longshot: The Job?


Snyder: Yes, the Head Coaching job. The one you're hear to interview for. And why do you keep telling us your name after every sentence?

The Longshot: Sir, for emphasis sir. I just want you to know its me.


Cerrato: We know its you, your right in front of us!

The Longshot: Sir, sorry sir.


Snyder: Would you effing quit it!

The Longshot: Sir I'm trying sir.


Snyder: Okay, whatever. Tell us what you'd do as head coach.

The Longshot: Sir, that's impossible sir. I'd need to know first of all what you and Mr. Cerrato recommend.


Cerrato: Ummm, I'm not following.

The Longshot: Sir, I just want to say that I love you both.




Snyder: Damnit Vinny, that's 2. WTF? Let's just give the job to Fassel.

Cerrato: Sir, I strongly suggest continuing these interviews. The Washington City Paper says we're doing the right thing.

Snyder: Sigh. Okay, bring in the next candidate.


Snyder: So, it says here your name is SnyderShrugged. I gotta admit, that's clever!

SnyderShrugged: Thank you. But it pales in comparison to the genius that is Ron Paul.

Cerrato: Right. umm... moving along, tell us about some of the changes you might make if you were head coach.

SnyderShrugged: Well first of all, I would bring in Ron Paul.

Cerrato: For what purpose, exactly?

SnyderShrugged: Oh you know, the usual. He could run the offense, defense, and special teams... be the team physician, and oversee strength and conditioning.

Snyder: Who in the hell is Ron Paul?

SnyderShrugged: Why don't you educate yourself?

Snyder: Excuse me? What did you just say?

SnyderShrugged: And why don't you accept Gold Bullion at the concession stands in FedEx?

Snyder: Look, this is ridiculous.

SnyderShrugged: Please stop with the personal attacks on Ron Paul. It's not enough that you haven't educated yourself, now you're just slinging mud.

Cerrato: I think that's enough, you're way out of line.

SnyderShrugged: Why do you hate the Constitution?

Snyder: SECURITY!!!!!


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Great job zoony.

One question: Doesn't Mass_Skins_Fan get an interview?? :laugh:

Sorry Diesel, but when Vinny called about the interview I told him what the parameters for me taking the job were and he decided they weren't interested in the interview afterall. Especially since he pointed out that most of them violated existing team and league policies.

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LOL, I can hack a little fun. Not exactly sure why you chose me, but hey all's good.

Glad you didn't take it personally. For the record, I chose you just because you're one of the most easily recognized members when it comes to political loyalty.

Just like The Longshot is probalby the most recognizable poster who constantly signs his/her posts. (cough Blondie cough :D ) But Jason won out in the end b/c he also doubles as the biggest homer on es, and he is the last remaining fan who loves Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato. (no offense Jason, someones gotta hold the torch :) ) And AJ has the most severe case of man-love ever.

Just jokes though :cheers:

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