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I need help!


Mr. Sinister

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Before anyome reads this, they must know that I am very superstitous.A couple of weeks ago(before the GB game) one of my mothers friends came to paint a room in the house ( he's a cowboys fan) :puke:and he left his dallas

hat on the steps. Now since he used to be my barber, and is still a good friend of mine, I just told him to go back and get it the next morning since he was still working. I joked with him that the hat might not be there when he got back, and he laughed and told my mother that she should hide it. The problem is, I had to be faced with the possibility of seeing that stupid hat every time I went up the stairs. I wanted to move it someplace else, but I was afraid of catching a disease, so I begged and pleaded for one of my family members( who are Panther fans) to move it. All they did was laugh at me and shake their heads. The next morning, I fully expected to see the guy knocking on the door to get his hat. He never came, I realized that having that hat in the house could put a jinx on our entire season, and sure enough our receivers develop stone hands, the packers score a defensive TD,the oline is torn to shreds by injuries, and Sean Taylor drops a pick 6 and 2 more INT's. A week later, the hat is still in the house, and our O is nonexistent in the AZ game, and we very nearly lose that. Another week later, today, the hat is STILL in the house and I am about to blow a gasket. I am afraid of what could happen tommorow if this guy does'nt get this hat outta here by Sunday morning. What should I do?

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Before anyome reads this, they must know that I am very superstitous.A couple of weeks ago(before the GB game) one of my mothers friends came to paint a room in the house ( he's a cowboys fan) :puke:and he left his dallas

hat on the steps. Now since he used to be my barber, and is still a good friend of mine, I just told him to go back and get it the next morning since he was still working. I joked with him that the hat might not be there when he got back, and he laughed and told my mother that she should hide it. The problem is, I had to be faced with the possibility of seeing that stupid hat every time I went up the stairs. I wanted to move it someplace else, but I was afraid of catching a disease, so I begged and pleaded for one of my family members( who are Panther fans) to move it. All they did was laugh at me and shake their heads. The next morning, I fully expected to see the guy knocking on the door to get his hat. He never came, I realized that having that hat in the house could put a jinx on our entire season, and sure enough our receivers develop stone hands, the packers score a defensive TD,the oline is torn to shreds by injuries, and Sean Taylor drops a pick 6 and 2 more INT's. A week later, the hat is still in the house, and our O is nonexistent in the AZ game, and we very nearly lose that. Another week later, today, the hat is STILL in the house and I am about to blow a gasket. I am afraid of what could happen tommorow if this guy does'nt get this hat outta here by Sunday morning. What should I do?

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So you already posted a disclaimer about the superstition bit. But still -- that hat is one of millions of identical hats manufactured in exactly the same way. I don't know if the NFL has USA-only restrictions on its apparel. I doubt it does. So the hat very well may have been made on the other side of the world by machines and humans that have absolutely no knowledge of, or interest in, the NFL. It's just another means by which atoms are rearranged to generate profit for a series of virtual corporate entities. Not exactly the way evil voodoo hats would come into this world, if they ever did.

As such, the hat -- no matter where it is -- is infused with precisely zero ability to affect the outcome of any football game or any other remote event for that matter, save for "butterfly effect" scenarios so wildly unlikely that it isn't even worth your time to worry about them.

But if you're worried about Cowboys voodoo, exorcise it by making a video of you burning the hat while wearing Native American face paint and apparel. Post it to YouTube. Think of the positive karma you'll get for that.

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So you already posted a disclaimer about the superstition bit. But still -- that hat is one of millions of identical hats manufactured in exactly the same way. I don't know if the NFL has USA-only restrictions on its apparel. I doubt it does. So the hat very well may have been made on the other side of the world by machines and humans that have absolutely no knowledge of, or interest in, the NFL. It's just another means by which atoms are rearranged to generate profit for a series of virtual corporate entities. Not exactly the way evil voodoo hats would come into this world, if they ever did.

As such, the hat -- no matter where it is -- is infused with precisely zero ability to affect the outcome of any football game or any other remote event for that matter, save for "butterfly effect" scenarios so wildly unlikely that it isn't even worth your time to worry about them.

But if you're worried about Cowboys voodoo, exorcise it by making a video of you burning the hat while wearing Native American face paint and apparel. Post it to YouTube. Think of the positive karma you'll get for that.

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