So I met this Mormon chick. What do I do?

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

This girl came into my work a couple of weeks ago and we started talking. Because of school I'm only working there a couple of days a week, but every time I work she tries to swing by and spend some time with me. Her name is Desiree.

She's straight from Brazil and has only been here a few months on some kind of Visa. She's a travel agent back in her country. She came here to learn English and to get a better understanding of our people and culture. She's a really nice person and pretty damn intelligent. Oh and she's sexy as hell.

Her English is not that great but she is learning. I'm not fluent in Spanish but I know a decent amount. Problem is they don't speak Spanish in Brazil. They speak Portuguese. For the most part our conversations have been rough, but we both make the effort and in the end they turn out to be fun, challenging, and normally last hours.

The second time we talked she revealed to me that she was deeply religious and belonged to the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-Day Saints. She is a Mormon. I have since found out that she converted just one year ago.

Like a lot of people, I think Mormonism is the biggest phony in all of religion; a complete fraud. I have huge issues with most of its history and a lot of its teachings. I also have a problem with them targeting poor immigrants who are ignorant of all of this.

My ex girlfriend was a Mexican immigrant and their little missionaries targeted her in Maryland while I was going out with her. She went for it at first and was all about it. Eventually enough was enough for me. I broke it down to her, the truth, and that was that.

Today while I talked to Desiree I started to hint at problems I had with her church. I didn't really go into details and I quickly changed the subject. Enough was said though for me to realize that she really has no idea about what is the real deal. The problem I'm having is that she speaks of it with great confidence and talks about how much good it has done in her life; how she was lost and hopeless spiritually until she became a member.

I don't know what to do. A part of me wants to end the bull**** and tell her the truth; inform her of the history and really get into all the problems I have with it. However, a large part of me looks at how much it means to her and how much she believes in it. I don't want to ruin that. So my question is, what would you do? Would you clue her in on the reality of the church she belongs to or would you allow her to remain ignorant yet satisfied and happy?

I realize at this point we have just met and it's really none of my business to do either. However, we've hit it off wonderfully and I really could see this becoming something serious. At some point I'm going to have to make a decision.

What do I do?

[Spaceman Spiff]

My cousins wife is an ex Mormon.

Basically her opinion is the Mormon religion is full of bat**** people and she didn't like the way women were viewed.

I'd...nudge her in the direction that you want her to. If you care about her and it sounds like you kinda do...don't be argumentative, but when she starts trying to convert you or ask you about your thoughts and feelings, be polite.

My cousins wife hates it. She's got a lot of stories...

Dunno man, don't be rude, don't be disrespectful. You're a class guy, you'll figure it out.

Better than faking like it's not a big deal and then turning out later on that it is, right?

[OrangeSkin]

I can say with about 99.9% certainty nothing will come of this even WITHOUT the religious issue.

Is there anything about her actions that makes you believe she is interested in YOU? More than likely, based on her reason for being in the States, she's just happy to have found an American to speak with. I doubt she's thinking relationship.

If a relationship was even a possiblity, your denouncement of her faith would completely kill it.

You may see your beliefs as the truth but she certainly doesn't, and your arrogance would totally turn her off.

You can interact with her intelligently without talking down to her, which you'll certainly do if you keep that attitude.

I'm not a fan of Mormonism myself, but if you're really interested in keeping her, don't act like you're "telling her the truth" or something by sharing your personal beliefs. She'll be totally insulted and won't come to see you again. Just a word to the wise.

[SkinsBry]

If she has sisters and they are also mormon, maybe you could make it a family affair, if you know what I'm talking about. :pimp:

Seriously, I don't know their beliefs. If you like her and think there is a chance at your happiness and hers as well, tell her the deal.

Good luck.

[SUNSTONE]

She doesn't see it as something wrong, nor do the people who run it.

She says it has helped her life, and it's probably going to cause a lot of problems if you approach this the wrong way.

You can also run into a lot of problems if you get hooked up and neither of you like's the other's religion, especially when you bring kids into the picture.

I would try to just get her to check my church out and see if she likes it enough to go on a regular bases.

If she doesn't like it, then I would talk to her about possible problems that would come up in the relationship because of it.

I definitly wouldn't be trying to fall head over heels for this girl untill you get that straight.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

For the record I'm agnostic. I am not arrogant of my belief in anyway. I have been to Church, Temple, and Mosque. Not to convert but to get a better understanding. I have also read up on Buddhism and I dated a Hindu chick for a period of time.

I do not judge religious people (unless they push their beliefs on me.) I do not think people should be ignorant of their religion though. It is my belief that Mormons try to keep those they convert ignorant of the history of their Church. If I did decide to reveal my thoughts on her church, I wouldn't call Desi stupid or berate her in any type of way. I would just inform her of the history of her church. It's something I think she should know. I just don't know whether her knowing outweighs the other things; the positives. If it comes to that point, as I said.

Thank you all for the advice so far.

[praise_gibbs]

I am Mormon.

You wanna fight, *****?!

[Koolblue13]

Take her to a Quaker Meeting, feel spiritual, think realisticly, talk about it and then take her home and her.

[Jumbo]

I don't think you can ever go wrong trying to do any thing you can, subtle or blatant, to pry someone away from religion/science (same thing).

[Coach Williams]

If she is a true mormon she will have difficultly accepting your views on her religion and will leave you on her own after realizing you do not have the same faith.

If she is a fence-rider ( like most ) she will overlook this for the sake of love. Depending on your background I do NOT suggest staying with her for the long run unless you have intentions of helping her learn the doctrine of Jesus christ and not Joseph Smith.

I am orthodox Xtian and the Mormon bible has SOME extras in it that in the end COULD be true ( anything is possible ) however the Bible is the word of God and does NOT need further strengthening.

My vote= 6:4 in favor of running very fast

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

I don't think you can ever go wrong trying to do any thing you can, subtle or blatant, to pry someone away from religion/science (same thing).

It's not about prying her away from her religion but informing her of the reality of her religion. If I tell her the truth, not my opinion, but the truth (and back it up with links in the spirit of ES) and she still has faith and sticks to it, then more power to her. I can't hate on that.

Maybe I should have made this clearer in the OP.

[twa]

Since you say she is intelligent ,why not simply discuss the issues you have with the Mormon faith(or being agnostic,I suppose organized religion)?

You can acknowledge the benefits of her faith in her life while still presenting it's flaws in a non-confrontational manner as a starting point.

[DaveMason]

Wait until at least the second date before completely trashing everything a girl holds dear. That's always been my philosophy.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Since you say she is intelligent ,why not simply discuss the issues you have with the Mormon faith(or being agnostic,I suppose organized religion)?

You can acknowledge the benefits of her faith in her life while still presenting it's flaws in a non-confrontational manner as a starting point.

We started to get into tonight on the phone. We then agreed that it was a topic that wasn't appropriate for a simple, casual phone call and it would be better off if we waited until the next time we saw each other to talk about it. She said she really wants to know my views on it all and what I know. That's when I decided to start this thread. What you speak of is pretty much the path I'm going to take. The question is how far I take the discussion.

I should have made this all clearer in the OP but I was still at work at the time, getting ready to close, tired as hell, and wanting to knock out the thread real quick. I apologize for that.

[Dead Money]

It's not about prying her away from her religion but informing her of the reality of her religion. If I tell her the truth, not my opinion, but the truth (and back it up with links in the spirit of ES) and she still has faith and sticks to it, then more power to her. I can't hate on that.

Maybe I should have made this clearer in the OP.

Its pretty funny to me that you would say the same thing over and over here.... "The reality of her religion". The reality is that its hers and NOT yours. The truth about ANY religion is about belief. You can't correct that, but you are right, you can ruin it.

Now I'm no theist, but I'm also not so ARROGANT (yes that word again in this thread) to think that I have a better grasp of anyone's religion than they do. Yeah thats arrogant, sorry.

So you CLAIM that your agnostic? Part of being agnostic is that you cannot know for certainty that there is a god, but yet you profess you know the truth about her religion and you need to set her straight?

To me, this simply seems to be two completely separate beliefs. Nobody gets anywhere in life pretending to know everything... I have tried . You asked for advice so mine would be to eat some humble pie, and accept her for who she is if you like her. If you aren't happy with who she is, why bother????

This isn't really about religion, its really about relationships. I agree with a couple of the other posters here who told you to change your attitude if you want to explore this further. Good luck.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Wait until at least the second date before completely trashing everything a girl holds dear. That's always been my philosophy.

I normally wait until after I hit it the first time and we are lying in bed together relishing the aftermath of the great and timeless physical connection that just took place and have begun pondering exactly how far this relationship can go.

Just a joke people.

[Ax]

Well, flashing back to my single days, the only religion I'd be interested in discussing with her would've also helped her language skills.

"Oh....God....Yes....Oh"

"Oh....God....Yes....Oh"

"Oh....God....Yes....Oh"

Yes, I was a slut.

Seriously though. Your being critical of her religion has a greater potential to do more harm than good, to your relationship with her. Tread lightly.

I have seen rare instances of people going hog wild, and ruining there lives, after discovering something that meant so much to them, was a fraud. That's a big responsibility to take. Better they discover it for themselves.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Its pretty funny to me that you would say the same thing over and over here.... "The reality of her religion". The reality is that its hers and NOT yours. The truth about ANY religion is about belief. You can't correct that, but you are right, you can ruin it.

Now I'm no theist, but I'm also not so ARROGANT (yes that word again in this thread) to think that I have a better grasp of anyone's religion than they do. Yeah thats arrogant, sorry.

So you CLAIM that your agnostic? Part of being agnostic is that you cannot know for certainty that there is a god, but yet you profess you know the truth about her religion and you need to set her straight?

To me, this simply seems to be two completely separate beliefs. Nobody gets anywhere in life pretending to know everything... I have tried . You asked for advice so mine would be to eat some humble pie, and accept her for who she is if you like her. If you aren't happy with who she is, why bother????

This isn't really about religion, its really about relationships. I agree with a couple of the other posters here who told you to change your attitude if you want to explore this further. Good luck.

It's not about her faith, her relationship with God, or any of that. Aw **** it nevermind. I should have better expressed myself. You all are right. I'm a dick. Sorry for wasting everyones time.

I just want to say one last thing. Growing up in a mainly Hispanic immigrant neighborhood, having a Peruvian stepmother, an ex-wife who was Mexican (but born here) and having my most serious relationship being with a Mexican immigrant, I've personally witnessed how they come at them. They tell these people, who are struggling to get by, looking for some hope in this crazy world, whatever they want to hear to get them to convert. They tell them absolutely nothing about the true history of their religion. And unfortunately, a lot of these people don't have the means to do the research themselves. All they have is the free reading material that the church provides them. It bothers me. It bothers me a lot. An openly racist organization, until just a few decades ago, targets immigrants and poor minorities to bolster their ranks and to collect money from.

So excuse me if a person I could potentially care for has been duped and it concerns me. That is why I came here. To ask for advice. I'm not trying to be arrogant. I'm trying to be sensitive about the matter. I'm trying to find the best way to handle this. Or whether to even handle it at all.

So yeah, I guess I should stop CLAIMing to be part of the mighty religion of agnosticism and just ignore the HISTORY (you know, the word I've repeated endlessly throughout this) of their church. Thanks for setting me straight buddy. Now I'm going to go eat my humble pie with a glass of milk and take a nap.

[DeanCollins]

I realize at this point we have just met and it's really none of my business to do either. However, we've hit it off wonderfully and I really could see this becoming something serious. At some point I'm going to have to make a decision.

I'm with Dead Money on this one. Leave it alone, her faith is not your responsibility. She's happy and you say she's smart so she'll figure it out some day, a lot of them do. I've got several friends that are mormans, and several FCs and BAs. There all in the same catagory to me, recruiters of a faith that is diffent from my own. If she's trying to recruit you just smile and say no thanks. How hard is that?

I'm I gonna be the first one to point out that a guy your age seems to be a little distracted by this. If that girl keeps showing up at your work and is as dead sexy and you say, why aren't you knocking the bottom out it already? :hump:

You're acting as if you're getting married to the girl and you haven't been on a date yet.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

I'm with Dead Money on this one. Leave it alone, her faith is not your responsibility. She's happy and you say she's smart so she'll figure it out some day, a lot of them do. I've got several friends that are mormans, and several FCs and BAs. There all in the same catagory to me, recruiters of a faith that is diffent from my own. If she's trying to recruit you just smile and say no thanks. How hard is that?

I'm I gonna be the first one to point out that a guy your age seems to be a little distracted by this. If that girl keeps showing up at your work and is as dead sexy and you say, why aren't you knocking the bottom out it already? :hump:

This is why I asked. Thank you for your advice.

As far as hitting it. It's hard for me to get out and go on dates, for reasons I won't get into here. And really, I'm actually taking it slow with this one. I don't know why. That's just how it's playing and for once I don't mind. Maybe I've matured or something. Who knows.

[Dead Money]

It's not about her faith, her relationship with God, or any of that. Aw **** it nevermind. I should have better expressed myself. You all are right. I'm a dick. Sorry for wasting everyones time.

I just want to say one last thing. Growing up in a mainly Hispanic immigrant neighborhood, having a Peruvian stepmother, an ex-wife who was Mexican (but born here) and having my most serious relationship being with a Mexican immigrant, I've personally witnessed how they come at them. They tell these people, who are struggling to get by, looking for some hope in this crazy world, whatever they want to hear to get them to convert. They tell them absolutely nothing about the true history of their religion. And unfortunately, a lot of these people don't have th means to do the research themselves. It bothers me. It bothers me a lot. An openly racist organization, until just a few decades ago, targets immigrants and poor minorities to bolster their ranks and to collect money from.

So excuse me if a person I could potentially care for has been duped and it concerns me. That is why I come here. To ask advice. I'm not trying to be arrogant. I'm trying to be sensitive about the matter. I'm trying to find the best way to handle this. Or whether to even handle it at all.

So yeah, I guess I should stop CLAIMing to be part of the mighty religion of agnosticism and just ignore the HISTORY (you know, the word I've repeated endlessly throughout this) of their church. Thanks for setting me straight buddy. Now I'm going to go eat my humble pie with a glass of milk and take a nap.

I do agree the nap should help. See your reply shows what I'm trying to say here too... The attitude is all wrong. I see that you have some knowledge and I also see since I started my post you mean to have an intelligent (two way) discussion with her. But you come across at times in this this thread as as a know it all and yeah a dick if thats how you want to say it. Religion is often too emotional a subject to debate, I was addressing your question and YOU ASKED for our opinions... I gave it to you. Goodnight.

[Ax]

I'm I gonna be the first one to point out that a guy your age seems to be a little distracted by this. If that girl keeps showing up at your work and is as dead sexy and you say, why aren't you knocking the bottom out it already? :hump:

I had thought the same thing. But you put it more eloquently than I did.

Kids today, huh? :laugh:

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

I do agree the nap should help. See your reply shows what I'm trying to say here too... The attitude is all wrong. I see that you have some knowledge and I also see since I started my post you mean to have an intelligent (two way) discussion with her. But you come across at times in this this thread as as a know it all and yeah a dick if thats how you want to say it. Religion is often too emotional a subject to debate, I was addressing your question and YOU ASKED for our opinions... I gave it to you. Goodnight.

Word.

[SuperNintendoChalmers]

Atleast she isn't into Scientology.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Atleast she isn't into Scientology.

This is very true.