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Happy Birthday Blondie!


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"The SCA Birthday Song"

Tune of : "Volga Boatmen"

Now you are the age you are

Your demise cannot be far


Happy Birthday! (UHH!) Happy Birthday! (UHH!)

Fear and gloom and darkness but

No one found out YOU KNOW WHAT

May the candles on your cake

Burn like cities in your wake

You're a period cook, it's true

Ask the beetles in the stew

Burn the Castle and storm the keep

Kill the Men but SAVE THE SHEEP!

Now your jail-bait days are done

Let's go out and have some fun!

May your deeds with sheep and yaks

Equal those with sword and axe

You must marry very soon

Baby's due the next full moon

Your servants steal, your man's untrue

Your children plot to murder you

Were I sitting in your shoes

I'd go out and sing the blues

They stole your gold, your sword, your house

They stole your sheep, but not your spouse

So you're 29 again

Don't tell lies to your good friend

Now you've lived another year

Age to you is like stale beer

So another year has passed

Don't look now they're gaining fast!

We brought linen, white as cloud

Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

See the wrinkles on your face

Like the pattern of fine lace

I'm a leper, can't you see

Get your birthday kiss from me.

Burn, then rape by firelight

Add -romance- to life tonight.

Pay attention, you must learn

First you pillage, THEN you burn.

Birthdays come but once a year

Marking time as Death draws near.

At your age most folks go blind

You've kept your sight, but lost your mind.

While you eat your birthday stew

We will loot the town for you

When you've reached this age you know

That the mind is first to go.

Happy Birthday Blondie.

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