China Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Want a second date? Pay for the first Men, pay attention. Women place a high value on how a potential partner treats them right at the start. Generosity will go a long way. By Kris Frieswick, MSN Money It was our first date. He was handsome, tall, educated, thoughtful and funny. He had a British accent and a great body. We sipped martinis and nibbled on perfectly seasoned tenderloin in a gourmet restaurant in downtown Boston. To say he was a catch would be an understatement. Yet the deal was not fully sealed until the dinner check came. He reached to pay it without hesitating. Reader, I married him. There was, of course, more to it than that. But one of the things that most attracted me to my husband was his boundless generosity when it came to me. Me -- the feminist, the aggressive professional, the battler of gender inequality wherever it lurks. Me -- the woman who thinks the man should pay for the first date. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function." I must be a genius. A hypocritical genius. One of my many sisters in this hypocrisy is Donna Spangler, a former model and author of "How to Get a Rich Man." She says she simply wouldn't go on a second date with a man who didn't pay for the first. "There's something about the strength of a man who pays," says Spangler. "If a guy doesn't pay for you, you're not being treated like you're special. . . . A woman shouldn't gravitate toward that kind of man." The feminist in me cringes at those words, but, God help me, I agree with her. I have many devoutly feminist friends who agree as well. Click on the link for the full article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McMetal Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Girls like guys who shell out the $$$? Stop the presses. Where's the companion article, "Want a second date? Put out on the first" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsHokieFan Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Girls like guys who shell out the $$$? Stop the presses.Where's the companion article, "Want a second date? Put out on the first" :laugh: :applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Girls like guys who shell out the $$$? Stop the presses.Where's the companion article, "Want a second date? Put out on the first" :laugh: It is rather intriguing that, while wanting equal treatment everywhere else, she still feels she should enjoy the benefits of chivalry without any of the negatives. Very interesting position. Just for the record, I want no part whatsoever with anyone who wrote or read a book titled "how to get a rich man". So she's not doing herself any favors by using that woman's opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twenty-eight Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Girls like guys who shell out the $$$? Stop the presses.Where's the companion article, "Want a second date? Put out on the first" :1stplace::laugh::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Women want you to pay, and you should. But at the same time they should offer, and say thanks. Otherwise don't bother with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 :laugh: It is rather intriguing that, while wanting equal treatment everywhere else, she still feels she should enjoy the benefits of chivalry without any of the negatives. Very interesting position. Just for the record, I want no part whatsoever with anyone who wrote or read a book titled "how to get a rich man". So she's not doing herself any favors by using that woman's opinion. I met my wife in women studies classes in university And I remind her of this double-standard all too often. And there's no rebuttal for it... and I don't expect one. I just expect her - and everybody else - to simply accept the fact that there are double standards.... so don't expect me to change mine when I come up with one that's convenient for me. What's good for the goose right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Girls like guys who shell out the $$$? Stop the presses.Where's the companion article, "Want a second date? Put out on the first" :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Lock the thread!! We've got our winner! :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 And when exactly has it ever been different. And, frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, it was a great pleasure to treat a woman to a nice time. It always seemed natural. I can't even imagine asking a woman to pay. Heck, my wife and I share a single bank account, and I still always pay the bill. She still always thanks me. Just seems right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 And when exactly has it ever been different. And, frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, it was a great pleasure to treat a woman to a nice time. It always seemed natural. I can't even imagine asking a woman to pay. Heck, my wife and I share a single bank account, and I still always pay the bill. She still always thanks me. Just seems right. I agree...I love buying stuff for my lady (when I have one). However it would be nice to have a sugar momma for a change. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I have found in my vast experience with women that they often think they want one thing, but actually, subconsciously, they want something completely different. Maybe men are that way too, but I don't think so. The trick is finding the woman that wants the same things you do, rather than the woman who SAYS she wants the same things you do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I paid for dinner, she paid for the rubbers, worked well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNut73 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 And when exactly has it ever been different. And, frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, it was a great pleasure to treat a woman to a nice time. It always seemed natural. I can't even imagine asking a woman to pay. Heck, my wife and I share a single bank account, and I still always pay the bill. She still always thanks me. Just seems right. Agreed 100%. But we must be on our way to extinction. I frequent the boards over at askmen.com from time to time and the dating world has certainly changed - it is expected for the woman to pay her half of the bill. Like you, it just seems natural to me....but such is not the case anymore it seems... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 And when exactly has it ever been different. And, frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, it was a great pleasure to treat a woman to a nice time. It always seemed natural. I can't even imagine asking a woman to pay. Heck, my wife and I share a single bank account, and I still always pay the bill. She still always thanks me. Just seems right. And so does coming home to a good dinner every night... and having her raise your children..... and having a clean house... and her waiting for you to come upstairs to show you a good time. Hey, if you're going to reflect on old values.... because they "seem right".... you can't just pick and choose. It's all from the same era. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OVCChairman Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I agree...I love buying stuff for my lady (when I have one). However it would be nice to have a sugar momma for a change. :laugh: that it would. I'm actually "Old School" in the sense that when my girlfriend and I go out, it's beyond her responsibility to pay...even if she makes twice the money i do... I love treating her to a nice evening and "wining and dining" her. She battles me at times on this because she is a very independent woman but she generally gives up on the fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Agreed 100%. But we must be on our way to extinction. I frequent the boards over at askmen.com from time to time and the dating world has certainly changed - it is expected for the woman to pay her half of the bill. Like you, it just seems natural to me....but such is not the case anymore it seems... When paying for the woman's bill is "natural" to you... I'd imagine so is raising your backhand towards her face when the ***** talks back to you right? :laugh: Yeah, times have changed.... we can't raise our hands in the company of a backtalking tramp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidenreich Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Agreed 100%. But we must be on our way to extinction. I frequent the boards over at askmen.com from time to time and the dating world has certainly changed - it is expected for the woman to pay her half of the bill. Like you, it just seems natural to me....but such is not the case anymore it seems... You might be onto something. I. myself, would never expect my date to pay half of the bill. Some expect it, some offer & say thanks, and some are shocked. I was talking to this girl the other night & she said she always paid her way with the guys she was seeing. She was surprised that me & my friends said that we always pay. (and no, I wasn't just saying that to get in her pants. All right, maybe I was, but I really do always pay! )I must be old school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I have found in my vast experience with women that they often think they want one thing, but actually, subconsciously, they want something completely different. Maybe men are that way too, but I don't think so. The trick is finding the woman that wants the same things you do, rather than the woman who SAYS she wants the same things you do. Qouted for extraordinarily extreme levels or truth. And so does coming home to a good dinner every night... and having her raise your children..... and having a clean house... and her waiting for you to come upstairs to show you a good time.Hey, if you're going to reflect on old values.... because they "seem right".... you can't just pick and choose. It's all from the same era. When paying for the woman's bill is "natural" to you... I'd imagine so is raising your backhand towards her face when the ***** talks back to you right? :laugh:Yeah, times have changed.... we can't raise our hands in the company of a backtalking tramp :laugh: Exactly, that's what I'm saying. They want the old fashioned chivalry without the old fashioned "benefits" that entitled the man to. Talk about having your cake.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tizzod Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 What's this "paying half" stuff? I would never think to request that. Or allow it, for that matter. Especially on a first date. How can you expect to get anything later when you are looking at the bill with your little pocket calculator saying, "ok, you owe me.....27.54. Then there's your half of the tip, of course....." Give me a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjTj Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 And when exactly has it ever been different. And, frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. For me, it was a great pleasure to treat a woman to a nice time. It always seemed natural. I can't even imagine asking a woman to pay. Heck, my wife and I share a single bank account, and I still always pay the bill. She still always thanks me. Just seems right.Do people actually ask women to pay?I always try to pay, but it becomes a pain in the ass when she says she wants to pay or she hands me money or she tries to pay on the next date. Then you can't tell if she's being polite or she really wants to pay or what the heck she is thinking ... "I got it," "No, I can pay for mine," "No, it's fine really," "Just let me see the bill..." "No, I had a great time tonight and I want to pay." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "Alright, but I'll get it the next time" (process repeats next time). Just let me pay for your damn meal, woman! :slap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 McMetal's post deserves yet another :laugh: That is one of the greatest posts ever. :notworthy: Do people actually ask women to pay?I always try to pay, but it becomes a pain in the ass when she says she wants to pay or she hands me money or she tries to pay on the next date. Then you can't tell if she's being polite or she really wants to pay or what the heck she is thinking ... "I got it," "No, I can pay for mine," "No, it's fine really," "Just let me see the bill..." "No, I had a great time tonight and I want to pay." "Are you sure?" "Yeah." "Alright, but I'll get it the next time" (process repeats next time). Just let me pay for your damn meal, woman! :slap: I've always just said "You get the next one" and leave it at that. Then when the next one comes around, i do the same thing. Its a good system. The only time i let the Girl pay is when she says, in advance, "we are going out to Restaurant X and im paying." Then i just say "ok." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I operated on the principle that the person who asks the other person out pays for the date. It worked pretty well for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 McMetal's post deserves yet another :laugh: That is one of the greatest posts ever. :notworthy:I've always just said "You get the next one" and leave it at that. Then when the next one comes around, i do the same thing. Its a good system. The only time i let the Girl pay is when she says, in advance, "we are going out to Restaurant X and im paying." Then i just say "ok." Sounds about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 I operated on the principle that the person who asks the other person out pays for the date. It worked pretty well for me. The last time I was single I was in college, and we didn't really go out on 'dates' per se. We pretty much hooked up at a party or something, and then if that worked out, well, maybe you'd eat at the same place together or something, and in that case whoever HAD money would pay. Or something like that. But if I were dating now, yeah, I think I'd go with what Predicto said. Though I'd probably offer to pay no matter what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raub Posted August 10, 2007 Share Posted August 10, 2007 Hookers usually don't care if you buy them dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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