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Here you go. Just gotta take her to the opra.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/w4m/366056756.html

I'd hit that too.

Sent her and email. I'm all over it

I just hope she is into 23 midgets who drive their mother's car, have severe tourettes syndrome (might fit in well at the opera), slight lazy eye, and a sexual appetite that makes Hugh Hefner look like Elmer Fud.

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Sent her and email. I'm all over it

I just hope she is into 23 midgets who drive their mother's car, have severe tourettes syndrome (might fit in well at the opera), slight lazy eye, and a sexual appetite that makes Hugh Hefner look like Elmer Fud.

That's hot

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I wouldn't doubt it that she's on there somewhere but na, my bro hooked me up with her, the ****.

I think you mentioned the type of work you were in before. You ever use craigslist with that?

Naww. I try to keep it more profesional. CL is for renagades. Renagades are woman that dont have guidence in their life. In other words, most of them on CL pimp theirselves.

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Naww. I try to keep it more profesional. CL is for renagades. Renagades are woman that dont have guidence in their life. In other words, most of them on CL pimp theirselves.

Yeah I feel ya.

I read a story in Stuff or FHM or one of those last year about this guy in NYC who just took a bunch of girls off of CL and started his own business and became a millionare with it. If I remember correctly he started getting into drugs or something and I think he's in prison now for tax evasion or something like that. I don't remember the exact details.

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This one is HILARIOUS!!!

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/325829361.html

NSFW because of language. . .but I will copy the last line of it. . ..

thanks for a good laugh though. It's so much better than the cliche **** that ends way too many relationships. I"m sure the next time I break up with someone, I'll be saying

AT LEAST HE DIDN"T PISS ON MY FLOOR.

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Yet another from TBOCL

Post day after day with no response? Post but only get spammers and porn sites? Answer a post and never hear back? Frustrated, lonely, tired, married and wondering “how hard is it to get a friggin’ handjob ferchrissakes?”

If you can’t figure out what’s going on, you might be guilty of one of the 7 Habits of Highly Annoying People on CL M4W. (Ladies, many of these could apply to your ads as well, I just am not familiar with them).

Habit 1: Starting your post with a plaintive “Are there any normal women/men/humanoids left?”

The answer, my friend, is a resounding NO . Maybe it’s because of global warming, or 8 years of Republicans, but all the normal folks moved to Canada or some ****hole like that. So shut the **** up and deal with the remaining dysfunctional misfits like the rest of us.

Habit 2: Starting your ad by saying that you’re heartbroken over an ex and go on to detail how she cheated on you lied to you broke your tender little loving heart etc and now you just want to find someone nice to replace THAT ***** and to take your mind off her.

Um, do I look like your ****ing therapist? I didn’t think so. Go out with your mates, get piss drunk, text the ex that she was a ****ty lay and had a fat ass, and get over it like a man. Otherwise, I’ll charge you 120/hr like my therapist does to listen to my ****ing and moaning about my exes, and I’ll still dump your sorry ass because whiny does not equal sexy.

Habit 3: total,compleetlack Of anYpunctuashion skillz,,that makes, me, wonder if you are , a, Nigerians Scammer . OR YELLING ABOUT HOW SENSITIVE AND KIND YOU ARE AND HOW YOU WANT TO MARRY A NICE NORMAL GIRLWHY CANT YOU FIND ANYONE NORMAL HOW COME NOONE RESPONDS??!!!

I’ll tell you why—it’s because no one can understand a goddam word you’re SHOUTING. Settle down, and remember, capitalization, periods, and the proper use of the comma are your friends.

Habit 4: You say “I promise you won’t be disappointed.” How the **** do you know? What if I am looking for a 6’7” red headed trapeze artist who likes to shove popsicle sticks up his ass while yodeling? Every time someone has said “you won’t be disappointed,” I inevitably am.

Habit 5: You post the same, overly earnest, long winded ad EVERY DAY FOR MONTHS. Dude, you know who you are. Clearly, it’s not working for you. I suggest a different approach. Besides, I don’t have time to read your friggin dissertation. Brevity is the soul of wit and all that crap.

Habit 6: You post repeatedly, using the same picture, but with different ages, categories, descriptions of who you are and what you want. What, Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” wasn’t enough for you? Crreeeepy.

Habit 7: You are looking for a Girlfriend Who Squirts. Jesus H. man, you also won’t give up. I’m tempted to buy a water pistol, stick it up my vagigi and let er rip all over you just so I don’t have to see your ****ing post one more time.

#7. . .damn, that's good comedic stuff!

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Read the Missed Connections. Those are so ****ing funny. My buddies and I read that at work when we don't have anything to do. The people are so pathetic sometimes. It's like they go through all this stuff, and never actually just talk to the people ... they're like stalkers. It's sad, but funny at the same time.

For instance:

Ok...I'm going to take one more chance at the that fact that maybe you'll see this posting! I haven't seen you in a few days at the gym b/c I have had to go the past few week nights instead of the mornings due to work meetings and you don't seem to go on wknds...but I saw you today!

I came in shortly after 6:15 a.m. or so & you of course left around your typical 6:30 a.m....but when I came in you were working on your back/lats & then I ended-up going right to the mat to stretch but we definitely made eye-contact today a few times b/c I purposely smiled at you while I came in. You then moved to free-weights before leaving but you then walked right in front of me at the mat but I didn't want to be too obvious so I didn't look right at you as you did.

Today you had on black shorts, a white t-shirt (sleeves cut-off) and a black hat...and again, you are about 5'8"/5'9", dark hair, light eyes, very tan and probably if I were to guess about 36-37. You drive a silver Mercedes Kompressor (I only know that b/c we both left at the same time last week). I don't know your name...but I would love to talk or meet-up for drinks some night! We're both there so early in the morning that I'm sure we don't want the gym to seem like a pick-up joint...but I just want to meet you and have you ask me out!

I hope that maybe you see this!

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Read the Missed Connections. Those are so ****ing funny. My buddies and I read that at work when we don't have anything to do. The people are so pathetic sometimes. It's like they go through all this stuff, and never actually just talk to the people ... they're like stalkers. It's sad, but funny at the same time.

For instance:

Is that Gacolb's ex stalker chick?

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