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22 ways to be a good democrat


Spaceman Spiff

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From a forwarded email to me. Bound to ruffle a few feathers :evil:

Subject: 22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

THIS IS NOT SO HARD, EVEN A CAVE MAN CAN DO IT....

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to bel ieve that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been In charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

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Subject: 22 Ways To Be A Good Conservative

You're right, it's not so hard

1. You have to be for capital punishment, unless you have a good lawyer.

2. You have to believe that businesses create prosperity and governments create prosperity by funding business.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of Virginia Tech students are less of a threat on our soil than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there is no art worthy of first amendment protection.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are the same as they have been for generations and are unchanging besides documented data from endless scientific resources. You watch Fox, you know better.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are natural but being homosexual is artifical. Unless you are the vice president

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is uncontrollable and no cure can ever be found.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can teach fourth graders how to read is somehow not qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that beer chugging redneck hunters care about nature, and activists who you see on tv on city streets shouldn't.

10. You have to believe that walking on others self-esteem is more important than actually taking care of your own.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" to make a religous statement only. He didn't earn a penny.

12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too high, but military spending is to low.

14. You have to believe that Bill O'Reily and Ann Coulter are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are fair, and slavery never left any lasting effects on this country in any way.

16. You have to believe that George W Bush is well educated and is a very smart person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason totalitarianism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been In charge.

18. You have to believe democrats telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar belongs in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally banned, and freedom of religion should be revoked from the first amendment as well.

20. You have to believe that illegal corporate party funding to our government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, left wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's not okay to give any federal or state workers the day off on Christmas Day, it constitutionally violates the separation of church and state.

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So what am I?

For capital punishment

For Guns

For Abortion choice

Against the legalization of marijuana

For gay marriage (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Against immigration reform

On the fence about Iraq

Against flag burning unless it's your last peice of fabric to burn in the wilderness

For less governmental support to poorfolk (I just think there are too many people abusing the programs)

Against slavery

I don't know where I fall... Someone help me, or at least point me to an online quiz

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2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

These are the only three that have an element of truth to them, imho.

And actually, I'd say they're dead on. The very core of liberalism.

.....

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Actually, the one I think is the most "on target" is a coresponding pair that appear on both lists. The Democrat version is:

That the NRA is evil because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution, and the ACLU is good because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution.

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Actually, the one I think is the most "on target" is a coresponding pair that appear on both lists. The Democrat version is:

That the NRA is evil because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution, and the ACLU is good because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution.

the abortion/death penalty paradox is true of both parties as well.

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The first one is just stupid, whoever wrote this deserves to be shot..honestly. The Republican line has been about phrases like "pro-life" and "sanctity of life" and yet they are the biggest supporters of the death penalty. To me that's much more hypocritical than the democrat's side of things because many/most democrats don't believe in the idea of fetuses being considered alive at fertilization, so they don't consider themselves to be killing living creatures, so their opposition to the death penalty is not nearly as hypocritical.

Here's a link to George Carlin's stand-up on abortion and capital punishment. It starts right from the beginning: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4267856870762913584&q=george+carlin+abortion

"If you're pre-born you're fine, if your pre-school you're ****ed."

"Not every ejaculation deserves a name"

"Any woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer."

"Conservatives are against abortions and against homosexuals. Well. who has less abortions than homosexuals??!!"

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Actually, the one I think is the most "on target" is a coresponding pair that appear on both lists. The Democrat version is:

That the NRA is evil because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution, and the ACLU is good because they zealously defend a selected part of the Constitution.

You are smarter than that Larry. The NRA is a single issue organization.

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Spaceman, I thought you hated it when everyone talked about the same political bull**** over and over, and here you are starting a whole thread.
Bound to ruffle a few feathers :evil:

:thumbsup:

You know what they say when someone can't take a joke...

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To me that's much more hypocritical than the democrat's side of things because many/most democrats don't believe in the idea of fetuses being considered alive at fertilization, so they don't consider themselves to be killing living creatures, so their opposition to the death penalty is not nearly as hypocritical.

So the Democrats are either morons, delusional or dishonest. I guess when you were conceived you weren't really alive?

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I few compelled to put my :2cents: in. Keep in mind that i belong to neither political party and gererally dispise politics/politicians/talking about politics/voting. :)

8. You have to bel ieve that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

I believe this. Just because someone doesnt know how to read doesnt mean they dont know how to :hump:.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

Hunters dont care about nature. They care about there being enough animals around to make hunting easier. I guess they need an edge since automatic weapons, GPS, ATV's, scoped rifles, camoflage, tree stands, deer calls, deer urine, and night vision still dont make it easy enough for them. Even though cavemen were able to succeed at it. <that one was for you Spiff :silly: >

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

:rotflmao:

10b. You have to believe that dodgeball is barbaric. :)

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

Which party believes that all special interest groups are bad? I like that one.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

Who are those ****es? :D

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

Who was the sex offender?

So what am I?

For capital punishment

For Guns

For Abortion choice

Against the legalization of marijuana

For gay marriage (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Against immigration reform

On the fence about Iraq

Against flag burning unless it's your last peice of fabric to burn in the wilderness

For less governmental support to poorfolk (I just think there are too many people abusing the programs)

Against slavery

I don't know where I fall... Someone help me, or at least point me to an online quiz

Im pretty much with you Ion, cept for the guns.

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So the Democrats are either morons, delusional or dishonest. I guess when you were conceived you weren't really alive?

So because they don't share your point of view about fetuses they are morons, delusional or dishonest? That's fair.

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So because they don't share your point of view about fetuses they are morons, delusional or dishonest? That's fair.

When did your life begin hombre? When the woman decided to carry you to term? Take some time to answer, I know it's a tough one.

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When did your life begin hombre? When the woman decided to carry you to term?

My life begain on my.... wait for it.....

My Birthday....

In fact - I celebrate it every year. The day my life begun. Before that - I was a part of my mothers body.

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When did your life begin hombre? When the woman decided to carry you to term?

Here's the thing - I, personally, believe life begins at conception. I also happen to be against abortion and against the death penalty. I just don't understand why you would call someone a moron because they believe life starts in the third trimester. It's a pretty debatable point.

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My life begain on my.... wait for it.....

My Birthday....

In fact - I celebrate it every year. The day my life begun. Before that - I was a part of my mothers body.

Before you enter the debate I recommend you take physiology 101. Liberal logic is an oxymoron.

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