fuji869 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 4th November 2006 RE: Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the marketing director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The marketing director will make a special announcement at the Party. Merry Christmas to you and your Family. Pauline --------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 5th November 2006 RE: Holiday Party In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now? Happy Holidays to you and your family, Pauline. --------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 6th November 2006 RE: Holiday Party Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,"AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED. Pauline. --------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 7th November 2006 RE: Holiday Party What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! Pauline. --------------- FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All F****** Employees DATE: 8 November 2006 RE: The ******** Holiday Party. Vegetarian snits, I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it; you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings too -- they scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them scream right NOW!! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, Drink, drive and die! The B!tch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --------------- FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: 9th November 2006 RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cadets08 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Wow I almost believed this was true for a second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 "I hope you all have a rotten holiday, Drink, drive and die! The B!tch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" :laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enter Apotheosis Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 This one re-surfaces every year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coach Williams Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 how true:laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
headexplode Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hate to be so politically incorrect, but those who complain about political correctness generally are the first ones to cry when you say something like Jesus is gay, or George Bush is a terrorist. The double standard is the best standard ever invented (even better than the triple standard). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hate to be so politically incorrect, but those who complain about political correctness generally are the first ones to cry when you say something like Jesus is gay, or George Bush is a terrorist. The double standard is the best standard ever invented (even better than the triple standard). If you're going to try to stir up ****, please try to disguise it in the form of a logical argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 This one re-surfaces every year. I'd never seen it...good internets!! If you're going to try to stir up ****, please try to disguise it in the form of a logical argument. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :owned: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Enter Apotheosis Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 If you're going to try to stir up ****, please try to disguise it in the form of a logical argument. I dunno, seems to me that he has a point. It's not much of an argument... but it is still a valid point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hate to be so politically incorrect, but those who complain about political correctness generally are the first ones to cry when you say something like Jesus is gay, or George Bush is a terrorist. The double standard is the best standard ever invented (even better than the triple standard). guess i'm lucky to not be one of the hypocrits Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hate to be so politically incorrect, but those who complain about political correctness generally are the first ones to cry when you say something like Jesus is gay, or George Bush is a terrorist. The double standard is the best standard ever invented (even better than the triple standard). guess i'm lucky to not be one of the hypocrits I've never seen Dfitz complain about people saying God's son like to take it in the pooper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Hate to be so politically incorrect, but those who complain about political correctness generally are the first ones to cry when you say something like Jesus is gay, or George Bush is a terrorist. The double standard is the best standard ever invented (even better than the triple standard). If you're going to try to stir up ****, please try to disguise it in the form of a logical argument. Oh the irony! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Oh the irony! How so? Calling Jesus gay, or the POTUS a terrorists (to Americans) is deliberately inflammatory and completely out of place and context in a joke thread. Show me where I've turned a joke thread into an illegitimate and deliberately inflammatory political discussion, and maybe I'll see the irony too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I've never seen Dfitz complain about people saying God's son like to take it in the pooper. what did i have to do with that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 what did i have to do with that? Just showing that he, too, is not one of the hypocrites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Just showing that he, too, is not one of the hypocrites. oh, i thought you were making it out that i was also making the accusation. its all good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCsportsfan53 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 How so?Calling Jesus gay, or the POTUS a terrorists (to Americans) is deliberately inflammatory and completely out of place and context in a joke thread. Show me where I've turned a joke thread into an illegitimate and deliberately inflammatory political discussion, and maybe I'll see the irony too. The irony was that you got your panties in a bunch when he was just making a point about political correctness, not saying either of those statements as facts. I don't know I can show that but I just showed where you took an off the cuff example not meant to be taken as his opinion and turned it into an "offensive" remark that has no business here.......ie, unnecessary political correctness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 The irony was that you got your panties in a bunch when he was just making a point about political correctness, not saying either of those statements as facts.I don't know I can show that but I just showed where you took an off the cuff example not meant to be taken as his opinion and turned it into an "offensive" remark that has no business here.......ie, unnecessary political correctness. I asked him to make a logical, legitimate argument. Jesus wasn't gay, Bush is not a terrorist. Those points can be refuted factually. However, let's say, hypothetically, they were true. PC wouldn't be the ability to refute those points, it would be characterizing them thusly (and a societal requirement to do so): Gay Jesus = "The Alternative Lifestyle Savior." Terrorist Bush = "Peacemaker through violence." So as you can see, my prior posts had nothing to do with asking him to be PC about those two points. How'd you put it? "Oh the irony!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Jesus wasn't gay, Bush is not a terrorist. You can not prove or disprove your first point. Your second point is a relative statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 You can not prove or disprove your first point. Your second point is a relative statement. So long as libofascism exists, joke threads cannot. The two are necessarily mutually exclusive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tizzod Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Welp, so much for that attempt at a lighthearted thread. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 So long as libofascism exists, joke threads cannot. The two are necessarily mutually exclusive. Translation - my savior CANNOT be gay. Please don't let my savior be gay. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Welp, so much for that attempt at a lighthearted thread. :doh: Post #6 is where it changed. Damn...neo-con...errrr....wait just a minute.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Translation - my savior CANNOT be gay. Please don't let my savior be gay. :laugh: Actual translation - This is a joke thread, and I'd like to see it remain as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rincewind Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Actual translation - This is a joke thread, and I'd like to see it remain as such. You mean you're taking me seriously? Huh, thought the laughing smiley was a sure give away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.