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10k posts, wide-reaching scandal rock iheartskins!


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Another friendly tribute to a great mod and fellow ESer, iheartskins. As with Pete's 6000th post tribute, all quotes in the following story are from actual posts by iheartskins, and are used without permission and completely out of context. THEHEREAFTER's quotes are fake, but everyone else's are real...kind of. Enjoy!

www.fakeextremeskinsnews.com/ihateskins

iheartskins discovered to be double-agent

by honorary_hog, FESN.com

ExtremeSkins.com suffered what could be the most damaging blow in its history Friday afternoon, when it was learned that the moderator known as "iheartskins" is actually a double-agent from cowboyszone.com.

Intelligence agents working on behalf of a boss known only as "The Dan" reported suspicious activity on cowboyszone.com early Thursday evening. Apparently, a registered user on the Cowboys' site known as "ihateskins" piqued their interest with several questionable posts.

Here is the transcript of the conversation that tipped off the agents:

"THEHEREAFTER: Hey, ihateskins, I know this guy on extremeskins.com who has a name a lot like yours. He goes by "iheartskins." Kind of ironic, but I'm sure it's a different guy. He's a rare-record collector who rarely ventures out of his mom's basement, or off of ES for any length of time. How bout you? Who do you like to hang out with?

ihateskins: 'Boys fans on a 'Boys message board.

THEHEREAFTER: That's what I'm talkin' about. Those guys at ES are the most pathetic bunch of Skins homers I've ever seen.

ihateskins: I don't see anything wrong with what (those) guys are doing. The Redskins and Cowboys are heated rivals.

THEHEREAFTER: What? What the hell are you, some kind of ES sympathizer? Or are you a Skins fan?!?!

ihateskins: Wrong...BigD.

THEHEREAFTER: Well OK then. No more defending those loser ESers anymore then, capiche?

ihateskins: Fair enough."

After reading the transcript, "The Dan" put together a crack staff to find out ihateskins' true identity. Within minutes, Agent TK (who was away from his assigned post...AGAIN!) returned with an IP address, home address and phone number; all of which matched the information on file for iheartskins.

I caught up with iheartskins shortly after this story broke, and asked him what could possibly drive him to the darkside. How could he abandon ES for CZ? His answer was simple and direct: "Pieces of **** like you."

Though deeply troubled by his response, I continued my line of questioning. "iheart, I know you're a born-and-bred Skins' fan. Did they pay you to jump ship? Are you on the take? What happened?"

Again, his response was cold. "The market dictates what people are worth. This is a fundamental principle of a free market."

And that was it. The former iheartskins turned his back and walked away, into his new desolate and pathetic life as "ihateskins."

"IHEART!" I called as he walked away. "How am I going to explain this to everyone on ES?"

He paused slightly, and without turning around said, "If you have any problems, email me."

It's funny. After 10,000 posts, you think you know somebody. I guess not. Congrats anyway, "ihate." :(

(Congratulations iheart, and 10,000 more posts, pal. All of 'em right here! :cheers: )

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h_h, thank you very much for taking the time to do something like this. You picked some great quotes and wrote up something creative and funny. Well done, my friend. I sincerely appreciate it. :)

I REALLY hoped you wouldn't take offense to the record/basement thing. Just a joke, and I'm relieved you saw it as such. Thanks again for all you do here.

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Another friendly tribute to a great mod and fellow ESer, iheartskins. As with Pete's 6000th post tribute, all quotes in the following story are from actual posts by iheartskins, and are used without permission and completely out of context. THEHEREAFTER's quotes are fake, but everyone else's are real...kind of. Enjoy!

That was fantastic...and damn funny. I actually remember a bunch of those qoutes.

:laugh: :laugh:

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Within minutes, Agent TK (who was away from his assigned post...AGAIN!) returned with an IP address, home address and phone number; all of which matched the information on file for iheartskins.

Check it out Om. A prime example of life imitating art. ;)
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