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I prayed tonight...


Renegade7

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

I've been kind of depressed a lot myself lately. The only advice I would give is to try to hang in there and hope for the best. Do your best not to make anything worse and think about how you can help and how others can help you all out. If your family needs help, ES is filled with caring people (and soem not so caring) and I'm sure people here can help you out either with more advice or something more concrete if you guys are having specific problems that can be helped out.

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if you rescue someone from suicide and they end up killing themselves anyways by suicide from cop and take some innocents with them are you a part of the chain of those deaths. I say if someone wants to die encourage them, dont try to give him more options on how to die. Personally I think we need suicide machines in every police station, walmart, definately the post office, and every other place humans tread. Special note the machines in day trader offices should act on ****ing sounds, no consent if you make a ****ing sound you are finished.

The thread starter in my opinion is not suicidal, hes like the rest of us. Wanting the season to start. This is the worst time of the year for a football fan. Sure you have the mini camps, but thats like hiring a stripper and she doesnt take her clothes off.

We want heads to come off, women crying that their husbands killed themselves cause the Skins beat the cowturds, husbands crying cause their husband killed themselves cause the Skins beat the Fecals, Manginas crying that their equal Mangina killed themselves cause the Skins beat the Giants. This is what we are waiting for.

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

The bible says that we reap what we sow.

And I know what you mean, because I feel some **** I have been sowing in my life.

Do what I'm going to do. And that's get my ass back into church.

Church always felt good, I was surrounded by fun understanding mature people for the most part.

And that's where you can begin to sow some good stuff back into your life.

Find direction and purpose, and that's when the joy comes back.

Find a good church, you'll know it when you see it.

You'll feel like you belong.

There are many different types of churches.

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if you rescue someone from suicide and they end up killing themselves anyways by suicide from cop and take some innocents with them are you a part of the chain of those deaths. I say if someone wants to die encourage them, dont try to give him more options on how to die. Personally I think we need suicide machines in every police station, walmart, definately the post office, and every other place humans tread. Special note the machines in day trader offices should act on ****ing sounds, no consent if you make a ****ing sound you are finished.

The thread starter in my opinion is not suicidal, hes like the rest of us. Wanting the season to start. This is the worst time of the year for a football fan. Sure you have the mini camps, but thats like hiring a stripper and she doesnt take her clothes off.

We want heads to come off, women crying that their husbands killed themselves cause the Skins beat the cowturds, husbands crying cause their husband killed themselves cause the Skins beat the Fecals, Manginas crying that their equal Mangina killed themselves cause the Skins beat the Giants. This is what we are waiting for.

What the **** is wrong with you??? He's just a kid! :mad:

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If its encouragement through football your looking for were EVER so close to next season and have been picked to be a shoe in for the playoffs...

Your 17: You REALLY need to talk to your parents, tell them exactly the same thing!

Let them know you need to talk to the Pastor/Preacher, you need someone to JUST listen... You need better than what we can offer...

Its a beautiful world out there, I've been to 10+ Countries and have enjoyed every minute of it.. Joined the Army at 17 because I HAD to ;). My life didnt really begin till i was 28.......... Hang in there!

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

I can't remember the last time i was more dissapointed in someone here as a human being dw.....

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

Bro...Ease up a bit!! You're still a teenager. Life should be confusing at this point. Take a bit of comfort in, at least, the fact that we ALL suffer failure and loss and despair in our lives. Not just "us" at ES but everyone who has ever walked this earth. None have ever figured it all out and none have ever lived without crises. You do not know how strong you are right now...you will find out! Don't ever stop fighting, my man...this is what life is all about.

Pray if you need to, but the strengh you need is within you.

if you rescue someone from suicide and they end up killing themselves anyways by suicide from cop and take some innocents with them are you a part of the chain of those deaths. I say if someone wants to die encourage them, dont try to give him more options on how to die. Personally I think we need suicide machines in every police station, walmart, definately the post office, and every other place humans tread. Special note the machines in day trader offices should act on ****ing sounds, no consent if you make a ****ing sound you are finished.

Dreamng Wolf...Why?

Not Good.

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Find a good church, you'll know it when you see it. You'll feel like you belong.

There you have it... the "need" to "belong". That about summarizes individuals that go to church :doh:

There's a simpler solution than being delusional. It's called fixing your god damn problems.

If you missed walking the dog... walk the friggin dog. If you don't have time to care for the dog... then give the dog away to a more appropriate home. If it's not finishing school.... how about finishing school? If you don't know where you're life is headed... how about taking a personal inventory and creating new direction.

The power to change is within you. It's whether or not you value your life to do something about it. As much as people love or care about you.... ultimately, you are responsible for yourself.

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ONe of my favorite lines from a movie is from Contact.

"Why do we fall?"

"So we can learn to get up."

Take heart. At 17, you've got lots of time to do good things and to become who you want to be. Church can give you a good direction, and there is nothing wrong wiith wanting a bit of direction. It's human to lose one's way and need a map of sorts to check up with from time to time. A road map for life is good even when not lost if only for a bit of reassurance.

As for being depressed, I can really only give you a few peaces of advice. First, tell people close to you...your parents would be my first choice, but close responcible friends would be decent too. These people can watch you to make sure you don't do anything silly that you will regret later.

Second, keep in mind that your age and hormones will make wandering aimlessly through life seem like what's going on. Pick a few goals and work towards them. It sounds like you regret leaving school. Go back then. At your age, one of my goals was to get a job where money was never the reason I didn't get to do something I wanted to do. That was what motivated me to study and get into college. I know the whole "it's normal for your age" bit doesn't feel like it will help, but perspective on a normal emotional life is about all I can give you. It's why I loved "Why worry" by Dire Straits. Good times follow bad. You just have to wait to see them.

The last bit of advice has served me well, but for my friends it seems about 50/50. I figure that's good considering that's better than the success rate of finding a good antidepressant for somebody on the first try. As a sports player and fan all my life, I like a good game. When i'm down, I live for points. Every good thing counts +1, and every bad thing counts -1. The trick is, you have to be honest and count everything. That bastage just cut me off:-1. Wow, this line at the grocery store is taking forever: -1. I always really liked the sound of hard rain on my car roof: +1. That dinner was terrible. I hate artichokes: -1. I love a kiss goodnight from a girlfriend: +1. The thing is I never came out in the negative for a week. For me, just focusing on how many positive things there are in my life has been enough. For some of my friends it has worked too. For others, not so much... Good luck.

There are people on here who are good caring people. Let us know if we can help.

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I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way Renegade, being 17 is not easy. The important thing is to remember that these feelings pass, things always get better. Ignore those in this thread who mock religion, the fact they they took the opportunity to do so in such a serious thread should tell you something. Do what feels right in your heart, listen to your conscience. Find a church, any church - from Catholic to Unitarian.

I was in a horrible state when I was 17. I got expelled from High School with 3 months to go. I was an alcoholic and was pretty much on my own. Life was horrid.

I prayed and started to take volunteer jobs. I would recommend you do the same. Helping others makes your life fulfilled. It may be awkward at first but you will quickly start to feel the power in it.

I know you will get through this.

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Renagade, a few words for you.

First, you do not need religion to get through depression, and don't think that it is your only way to get by rough patches in your life. There are many other ways of dealing with some of the ups and downs of life and you don't NEED it to make your life complete.

Second, you are only 17 years old, and you have your whole life in front of you. The world is at your fingertips, and all you need to do is find out what makes you happy in life and go for it. I am such a different person now then I was at 17, it is like night and day. As you get older, and wiser, you will understand what I mean.

Third, here is a little bit of wisdom which you should hold dear. You can not control what other people around you in life do, you can only control your own actions. Don't waste your time worrying about what others think of you, only try to make yourself a better man. You have a great head on your shoulders and a very bright future in front of you, it may seem like the world is caving in on you, but in the grand scheme of life, what you are going through now will build character and experience, things you will benefit from greatly down the line. It is often people who go through the most turmoil and trouble in their younger tyears that come out more mature and better adjusted for success in life because they learn how to deal with the rough times.

Keep your head up and know that you have a bunch of guys here that are pulling for you.

:cheers:

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Ignore those in this thread who mock religion, the fact they they took the opportunity to do so in such a serious thread should tell you something. Do what feels right in your heart, listen to your conscience. Find a church, any church - from Catholic to Unitarian.

Do you really want to get into the "seriousness" of our intentions?

Pick a church, any church.... who cares about dogma, morality, guidelines, beliefs, ethics. Just go to a public institution regardless of your thoughts or beliefs. Just pick one... from Catholic to Unitarian. That's the ticket!!! You need to be lectured by 50-year old celibate men who couldn't handle life so he joined the ministry.

Or the stronger belief that the power of change is within yourself. That when the ***** hits the fan - as it does with everybody in the world - you're ability to adapt is your best resource.

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

If your serious man all I got to say is I knew a lot of 17 year old people who felt the way you do.. Bad stuff happens to every body, but it's how you come out on the other side that will define you as a man. If you were praying it means you have some faith... Which means you must know what happens to those that kill themselves off.

Things will get better.. Once the season starts ;p

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

Hey man - you are young and things look bigger then they really are. I'm not that much older then you but I can tell you from recent experience that you are close to what amounts to a new stage in life. Just get through it - no matter what it is. If you need to vent you can always send me or someone a PM. No shame in struggling at your age bud I fell into a pretty ugly depression around that age. Take a step back and learn to control the voice in your head - make it say positive things and always ALWAYS try to find solutions and positive steps you can take no matter how crappy something seems. You'll be surprised by how different the world looks when you start looking for the good stuff.

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I'm not the smartest knife in drawer, but i can feel it now. Every little bit of bad karma, from forgetting to walk the dog last week to not finishing school, it's all coming to get me now. It just seemed through all the years, I really did lose where I was going, forgot where I was heading. It's painful, ya'll, everythin my family and I have been through these past years, it's just gettin worse and worse. I didn't know if anybody was listening, let alone cared, but I guess I'll find out in the morning. Even before I stopped prayin a couple months ago, I felt everything was lost. I can't live like this anymore, can't do it. It can't stay like this, can it? Everyday can't stay like tonight, can it? Right? I need some football to take my mind off this ****...

First off you need to get a hold of yourself, you are young have your entire life ahead of you, you have to want it, not rely on others to give it to you.

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will see just need to stay strong

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Do you really want to get into the "seriousness" of our intentions?

Pick a church, any church.... who cares about dogma, morality, guidelines, beliefs, ethics. Just go to a public institution regardless of your thoughts or beliefs. Just pick one... from Catholic to Unitarian. That's the ticket!!! You need to be lectured by 50-year old celibate men who couldn't handle life so he joined the ministry.

Or the stronger belief that the power of change is within yourself. That when the ***** hits the fan - as it does with everybody in the world - you're ability to adapt is your best resource.

:doh:

I don't know where to begin. I don't want to hijack this kids thread with our banter but here I go. First off I find it hard to believe you find something wrong in him seeking some spiritual community if he feels the need to do so. I'm Catholic, that is what I believe. I mentioned Unitarians because I remember from a previous thread he wasn't overly involved in religion therefore a non-denomination community might be better for him.

I am shocked by your statement regarding the priesthood. Ignorance that profound is rarely seen. Could John Paul II not handle life? Mother Theresa? Quite the contrary. They handled it so well that they sacrificed their lives to help others. Why do you have a problem with that? Could you promise to be celibate and poor for the benefit of others. Relgious vocation is the most honorable profession, to mock it is downright foolish. My best friend is a devout atheist, even he respects the priesthood.

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Renegade,

I am sorry that you are feeling so low right now. It is very hard being 17 and even harder when you are feeling guilty about so many things. It is easy for many of us to sit back and say, "it will get better", or "get over it". I'm sure you feel that things are pretty bad and they might be RIGHT NOW.

My advice several things:

1. Look back on good times you've had and remember that you will have those good times again.

2. Think ahead to events that you are really looking forward to, like the football season, or a July 4th party, or something that holds your interest.

3. Try to open the lines of communication with your parents/family. Talking with them (I know how difficult that can be) might relieve a lot of your guilty feelings. If you can't get the courage up to talk to them face to face then write a letter or send an email.

4. Take sometime for yourself. Immerse yourself into activities that you enjoy and make you feel good. Set aside a certain amount of time each day where you do something for someone else. That could be spending time with your dog, helping your parents out around the house, etc.

5. Start keeping a journal. Write down what you did during the day and how it made you feel. You can start looking back to see what kinds of things made you feel good and like a good person.

6. If you continue to feel really depressed then talk to a counselor or your local doctor about possible some medications that can help you get over this tough period.

7. Religion/Church is a personal thing. If you feel the desire to attend then go for it. If it makes you feel better, go for it!

8. Don't listen to the few jackasses that try to post their own personal agendas in your thread. They are classless and clueless and should be ignored.

Renegade, if you ever want to talk PM me.

I have worked helping others with emotional problems for over 12-years, so if you need someone to talk to don't hesitate.

:)

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Renegade' date='

I am sorry that you are feeling so low right now. It is very hard being 17 and even harder when you are feeling guilty about so many things. It is easy for many of us to sit back and say, "it will get better", or "get over it". I'm sure you feel that things are pretty bad and they might be RIGHT NOW.

My advice several things:

1. Look back on good times you've had and remember that you will have those good times again.

2. Think ahead to events that you are really looking forward to, like the football season, or a July 4th party, or something that holds your interest.

3. Try to open the lines of communication with your parents/family. Talking with them (I know how difficult that can be) might relieve a lot of your guilty feelings. If you can't get the courage up to talk to them face to face then write a letter or send an email.

4. Take sometime for yourself. Immerse yourself into activities that you enjoy and make you feel good. Set aside a certain amount of time each day where you do something for someone else. That could be spending time with your dog, helping your parents out around the house, etc.

5. Start keeping a journal. Write down what you did during the day and how it made you feel. You can start looking back to see what kinds of things made you feel good and like a good person.

6. If you continue to feel really depressed then talk to a counselor or your local doctor about possible some medications that can help you get over this tough period.

7. Religion/Church is a personal thing. If you feel the desire to attend then go for it. If it makes you feel better, go for it!

8. Don't listen to the few jackasses that try to post their own personal agendas in your thread. They are classless and clueless and should be ignored.

Renegade, if you ever want to talk PM me.

I have worked helping others with emotional problems for over 12-years, so if you need someone to talk to don't hesitate.

:)[/quote']

I have nothing to add but:

:applause: :applause: :applause:

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I don't know everything that's going on in your life right now, and being Buddhist, I can't give you a Christian's outlook on the problems. However, if you need a different look on life, PM me and I'll be glad to help in any way I can. I will be gone from my computer until Tuesday, but if you catch me today, I'll be glad to help, and I will be glad to help when I return.

Things will get better, just believe in yourself, your parents, and your beliefs. Life is but one ideal of the grander scale of living. No one can take your beliefs away from you, as long as you don't stop believing.

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