Autograph Etiquette

[Kevin West]

All of you autograph collectors, please take note.

Mike Shula, son of Don and Head Coach at Alabama, is a devout Catholic. But recently...

"Shula had to switch churches after being hounded by autograph seekers," reports Sports Illustrated, "including one who was waiting at the end of the communion line with a football."

http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/sports_columnists/article/0,1426,MCA_468_4707830,00.html

Thank goodness, somebody came up with some rules on this matter (and it wasn't the Miller Lite "Man Law" guys.)

It is NOT apprropriate to ask ofor an autograph:

1. While eating at a restaurant. No one wants to be remembered as the guy who caused the coach to choke to death on a cheese stick. (Or, if you’re a Tennessee fan, on a cheese log.)

2. During obvious family time, as in while playing catch with daughter/son, etc.

3. Religious events, including weddings, baptisms, and weekly services.

4. In the middle of defecating in a public restroom. (If the coach is using your toilet, however, this is a perfectly acceptable and strategically advantageous time to ask. Holding the toilet paper hostage pending a signature is, however, poor form.)

5. During practice. Again, we didn’t think we’d have to write this, but after the mauling deaths of several Ole Miss fans approaching the Orgeron mid-drill, we can’t stress this enough. It could mean your life.

6. While drinking. Your fantasy might be to swig beers with the Ol’ Ball Coach, but be warned: coaches know their barstools and know them well. Be especially careful in Athens, Ohio, where bartenders consider GHB to be “a no-cost extra” for certain patrons. Also exercise caution if drinking with Dennis Erickson–you very well might wake up pantsless in Mexico. (Which may be what you wanted all along.)

7. While having sex. This is especially true if you are having sex with the coach in question. Wait until afterwards to request an autograph to exercise the proper amount of courtesy and restraint.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

Wait, a question from Earl, from Jasper:

"What if the coach is done using the urinal and is washing his hands?"

Then you go right ahead, Earl. But be careful about using your flip phone to take pictures.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/sports_columnists/article/0,1426,MCA_468_4707830,00.html

I'm glad we could get that cleared up.

[Brave]

I have a great policy about autographs:

I don't EVER ask for them. Never.

If someone wants mine, though, it would be fine by me.

[H-O-G]

I would not interrupt a players meal time at a resturant for a autograph, if I REALLY wanted it I would wait at the exit.

[cjcdaman]

I haven't asked for an autograph in over 14 years, but if I had the opportunity, I would interrupt that individual while he/she was eating. What can they say? Yes or no? Simple as that.

[Spaceman Spiff]

Little kids can get away with interrupting meals for autographs, adults look like idiots.

[cjcdaman]

Little kids can get away with interrupting meals for autographs, adults look like idiots.

I agree. That's why I haven't asked for an autograph for a long time. After I became a teenager, autographs lost all their luster I guess. But my point is that if I am finished with my meal and ready to leave, I'm not going to sit outside waiting for this person to finish their meal. I'll approach him/her and ask politely for an autograph.

[#98QBKiller]

I haven't asked for an autograph in over 14 years, but if I had the opportunity, I would interrupt that individual while he/she was eating. What can they say? Yes or no? Simple as that.

Yeah, if it were someone that I truly admired like Gibbs, Portis, Moss, Taylor, Washington, Cooley, or one of my favorite musical artists or something, I'd ask. I'd be very polite about it, but they can only say yes or no. Plus they're rich, so I can't feel too bad about it.

[Walking Deadman]

The main rule in my opinion is:

Be polite and respectful and don't be rude if they say no.

If you're not sure.......refer to to rule #1.