Comprehensive Child Molestation Reform (Bush's Speech)

[Fergasun]

[i couldn't sleep so I decided to stir the pot with a silly little over-the-top analogy. Comparing immigration to child predators is apples to oranges... but the logic by which the Senate and President are operating does not make sense. This is just a silly excuse of an excercise for me to try to make myself more tired... ]

Good evening. The issue of child predators stirs up intense emotions. In recent weeks, we've witnessed "Dateline" lure predators in expecting to have sex with a minor. We've also seen predators and their advocates petition for more rehabilitation, and complain about the restrictive laws on where sex-offender convicts can live. In many places in the nation, this is a heated debate.

For decades, we have let these predators run free in the streets. As a result of our lax policy on repeat offenders, many of these people have been able to slip through the cracks, and touch little boys again.

Once released from prison, these hard working, rehabilitated people must live in the shadows, normally hiding in the Catholic church. They put a strain on resources, and in many cases have been known to relapse. But let's not forget the number of child molestors who were good after being released from prison. They are a part of American life.

We are a nation of laws, and we must enforce the laws... we must also remember we are a nation of child molesters. I plan on fixing this problem with my 5 point plan on comprehensive child molestor reform.

First, we must secure our cities. Our streets and cities should be used for transportation, and lawful, above age relationships. Under my administration we have tripled the number of federal agents investigating child-sex crimes. They are doing a fine job, and have prosecuted thousands. Despite this problem, sex offenders still roam the streets. I plan on launching a nation-wide "virtual shield" to protect your children. We will use UAVs to prevent unwanted touching, and will have sensors in place that tell us when a child is being molested. We will also use the National Guard to patrol the streets... but we are not militarizing against sex offenders. Remember, child predators are our neighbors and friends.

Second, we will create a temporary predator program. The reality is... these people have worked hard, and shouldn't be punished too harsly just for touching the children. If we provide a safe place for these predators to fondle minors, it will drive down the demand on your streets. We will match willing predators, with willing minors... these safe havens will allow the predator to have their fun without breaking the laws of our nation. By creating this program, we will know who is goosing our children, and when they are doing it.

Third, we will hold the predators responsible for touching your children outside of the temporary predator program. It is against the law to be a child predator, yet often times... people cannot verify the age of those they are doinking. Thus, we will create a tamper-proof "Age of Consent" ID card that will allow predators and their desire to verify their backseat action is okay. We will also allow predators to join in the "temporary molestor program" where the government will match willing minors with willing predators.

Fourth, we need to admit there are millions of child predators in the country we don't know about. They should not be given a free pass. If we do nothing, some would call this amnesty. Some in this country want to castrate child predators and dump them in Iraq. This is not wise nor realistic... we need a middle ground between castration and letting child molestors run free in our country. Child molestors who want to keep their junk should have to pay a penalty... they can pay their taxes, enter the child predator program, work for a living, and learn how to have sex with people above legal age. People who meet these conditions can apply to have their predator past wiped clean... but approval would not be automatic. This is not amnesty, but a way for people to pay their debt to society, and demonstrate good character.

Fifth, we must honor our tradition of America as a melting pot. The success of this country depends on child predators knowing that their desires to have sex with people under legal age is not cool, and Americans have higher ideals and ways. We'll only let you have sex if you have sex under our terms. Consensual above legal age sex will unlock many doors for you... it will allow you to go from picking up the farmer's daughter, moving up to the college cheerleader, and eventually banging Paris Hilton. When child predators are allowed to bang other people's kids under "temporary predator program", they will realize their dreams, renew our spirits, and make America a better place.

Tonight... I want to speak to Congress. We can't just castrate child predators. They need a safe place to get their sick fetish jollies onl. If we go with harsh penalties, it will lead to more child predators roaming the streets looking for your sons and daughters outside of our "temporary predator program". By making the reform comprehensive we will drive away the supply.

I met Johnny KidToucher in the Hospital. He was serving in Iraq and got wounded. When he was young he fell in with the wrong crowd and ended up molesting 5 boys. He joined the military and has served for 26 years. When I asked him what he wanted... he asked for a promotion, and asked that we would overlook his pedophilic past. He wasn't punished for sodomizing the young boys. I will always be proud of Johnny KidToucher.

Tonight, I want to honor our new child predators... they are people willing to risk everything for their dream and freedom. We shouldn't let our laws come between their desire for disgusting acts. One nation, Under God... good-night.

[Flame ON! I think I can fall asleep now... woohoo!]

[luckydevil]

Are you serious? Because we all know that folks who simply want to feed and provide for their families are the same as child predators.

Wow, some of the stuff posted on this board continues to amaze me.

Nationalism is a disease that needs to be cured.

[Johnny Punani2]

Nationalism is a disease that needs to be cured.

says the socialist...

[luckydevil]

says the socialist...

hahahahahahahaha...............good one Johnny

[gbear]

lucky a socialist...that's rich.. Thanks I needed the laugh today.