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What is your all-time favorite post(s)

PleaseBlitz

By PleaseBlitz
in The Tailgate

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PleaseBlitz

PleaseBlitz

Posted
Posted

Ive been spending some time lately reading through some of the funniest threads that I can remember since there isnt much going on lately. Ive read some funny stuff, some wise stuff, and some WIERD stuff.

Use this thread to post some of the posts that stick out in your mind.

Rules:

Post the quote exactly.

Post a link to the thread.

I'll start:

I have no idea who this guy is, but this is one of the funniest ever:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That's awesome. Often I'll order a really good dessert and my mom will ask, "isn't that too rich?" I always think "WTF woman?"; 'rich' appears to be a synonym for tasty as f*** with old-timers. Kinda pity old peops, they can't enjoy good food without feeling the effects of some sort of maladie.

Having said that, Cold Stone is some nasty stuff. Not as in repulsive, but I know I'm going to feel some stomach pain after eating it. It's totally worth it, though. Best ice cream I've eaten.

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=143081&page=2&highlight=coldstone

And of course:

that's the first i've seen. ok, i admit, i'm guilty of not reading the WHOLE thread before posting. :laugh:

i was expecting....

_40511997_elf203.jpg

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41561&page=50&pp=40

:rotflmao: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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zoony

zoony

Posted
Posted

And of course:

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=41561&page=50&pp=40

:rotflmao: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

:finger: :finger: :finger:

Well my sister just arrived in town to visit by way of NOVA and it appears she got in a fender bender along the way.

Some jerk backed into her and took off. Her front bumper is smashed to pieces (don't worry, she's o.k.). Worst part about it is this lunatic that backed into her then proceeded to chase her around the beltway. Thank God he was driving a POS and couldn't keep up.

Anyways, it's a 1995 Camaro. It looks like I'm going to have to buy a new bumper.

My question is... has anyone taken a bumper off a newer car, or maybe even a 1993-96 Camaro before? It looks kind of complicated. Should I try this myself?

Also, any tips on matching up the paint? It's a red car, so obviously the paint is faded a little... and I don't want a bright red bumper with a faded red car.

Thanks in advance

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=153732

:evil: :evil:

(for those that don't get it... that post was in repsonse to PB's hit and run thread http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=153718 )

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Major Harris

Major Harris

Posted
Posted
Coming next fall from best-selling author Dan Brown - The Thiebear Code. A thrilling adventure set in the mystical world of Tailgate. Follow our fearless adventurer as he throws off his fellow Tailgaters by posting in a language that can only be understood by those that know a deadly secret. A secret that has been kept safe for hundreds of years, until now. The secret of the Thiebear Code.

:D

http://extremeskins.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&p=2485093

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PleaseBlitz

PleaseBlitz

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:finger: :finger: :finger:

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=153732

:evil: :evil:

(for those that don't get it... that post was in repsonse to PB's hit and run thread http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=153718 )

2 new rules (its my thread effers).

You cant quote yourself.

Zoony cant post at all. :finger:

Just kidding Zoon, that one was hilarious.

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zoony

zoony

Posted
Posted
pb, i know you have your mcdonalds post bookmarked, i have no idea what thread it is in. please pm me, or just post it for me. thanks.
I for one feel that McDonalds gets far too much negative publicity and not nearly enough postive.

Please press play:

McDonalds IS America. One grade F meat patty at a time. The company started as a corner store selling burgers one atta time, now it is a multinational conglomerate and one of the most recognizable brands in the world. They sell MEAT, POTATOES, AND SUGAR DRINKS! THAT my friends IS the American Dream.

We as Americans LOVE McDonalds as an institution, though we may deny ourselves the actual food. What do Americans love? BIG stuff, like the Big Mac and the Double Quarter Pounder WITH CHEESE! There is NO reason anyone needs a hamburger that big for lunch, but goddamnit, give me TWO! Just like the World Trade Center, friends.......in sandwich form.

What else do Americans love? Speed. Where else can you feed your entire family of 5 a meal that is far bigger than what they need, in less than 30 seconds? Not even with your fancy microwave, no sir. Micky D's has you covered, brothers and sisters. With a smile and a colorful toy to boot. It almost makes me teary eyed. Is it any wonder that NASCAR is so popular in this country? Well McDonald combines speed AND golden brown french fries. Dale Earnhardt Jr has nuthin' on the Golden Arches.

And finally my fellow Americans, McDonalds is CONVENIENT! In this day and age of instant information, 24 hour news, cell phones with email, and satellite TV, we are busier than ever. Who the **** has the time to cook or even exit their vehicle to walk inside a grocery store to buy actual nutrition for thier family? NOT ME! I'd rather just yell at a staticky speaker and take whatever comes out of the next window, comfortable in the knowledge that whatever it is will be BIG, FAST, and CHEAP.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!

thread http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2354052#post2354052

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Major Harris

Major Harris

Posted
Posted

:doh: draft day 2 special........

I think we should have moved into the 4th round we can always get kids that wont we drafted whether we like 5 guys or not 2 could reach FA but we let jean-gilles slide also LEON WILLIAMS would provide depth at middle backer allowing marshall to play both spots along with rocky competing for the weak side we traded up for rock we should have tried to be a little cheaper but what ever he's talented no doubt but leon might even if he's coached up be as talented a 4th rder that could be like a 2nd plus we'd have alot of speed leons quick plus rookie chemistry like last year campbell and Carlos from auburn----well still some dt depth and some sleeper corners too i'm sure they scouted plenty i'm pissed i've said it all damn draft STEPHEN GOSTKOWSKI at kicker just went to damn Bellichik that was the guy to replace hall hes a great kicker thats why adam V is gone! wake up here coaches get in there!

http://extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2496711#post2496711

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dfitzo53

dfitzo53

Posted
Posted

I didn't want to quote a huge block of text, but E-Dog's opening post in this thread has been a long-time favorite of mine.

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=97505

I believe that in his younger days, Mr T didnt give a **** about the fool, but now that he is older and wiser, he mayy indeed pity him.

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=144395

Next time it happens punch them right in the nose.

Then, as they're writhing on the floor in pain, dance around in circles with your arms raised high above your head singing the theme to Rocky. You'll be the life of the party, trust me.

..

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=154371

Just to provide context, zoony was talking about girls who punch guys in the arm.

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zoony

zoony

Posted
Posted

One of the funniest posts ever on ES :laugh:

Ladies and gentlemen. In the absence of my good friend Major Harris, it is my distinct honor and privilege to present him for induction into the ExtremeSkins Hall of Fame.

It all started on a cold January day in 2004, for no apparent reason. A young Major Harris stumbled upon the internet community that would forever change his life. A community of 50,000 strong, upon which he would leave an indelible mark upon at least three or four.

Major's initial impact on ExtremeSkins was much like that of the REAL Major Harris on the NFL. No one noticed. No one cared. It was, in fact, non-existent. But rather than relegate himself to a lesser league like his namesake, Major persevered, and eventually found his niche.

Major came into his own with his introduction to fellow ESer, rincewind. The battles between Major Harris and rincewind are legendary. They have indeed become the stuff of folklore. Many years from now, old and gray ES vets will pass the stories on to their grandchildren. And said grandchildren, will invariably wonder if there is any point in doing so.

The very day of Major's induction into the ES Hall of Fame, he was engaged in yet another legendary battle with his arch-nemesis. During the epic struggle, it was learned that Major had become embroiled in an off-line scandal involving rincewind, rincewind's mom, Major's OWN mom, and a pony. Though speculation was rampant, even a scandal of such dramatic scale could not prevent Major's entry into the Hall.

Even the publication of Tarhog's book "Do me now, Rince me later: The Major Harris Story," could not slow the groundswell of support for "The Maj's" induction.

"I'm truly humbled by the honor that's been bestowed upon me," Major said in a prepared statement. However, the one page press release did not end as humbly, as Major quipped. "Aw hell, who am I kidding. I busted my ass. I worked my fingers to the bone posting rince's mama jokes! I deserve this! Bow to me *****es!"

But while Major Harris' battles with rincewind have been his career focus, he is much more than a "one trick pony," allow me to share some of his other Hall-of-Fame worthy material. In the Word Association thread alone, Major Harris logged the following incredibly gut- and heart-wrenching posts:

infinity

autumn

mug

mcdonalds

burglar

steal

ignite

planet

That's just a sample of his 3,912 brilliant posts in one classic thread. Rest assured, the other 88 posts, scattered randomly throughout ES lore, are equally riveting.

Finally, ladies and gentlemen, as I present my friend Major Harris for induction, let me address him directly:

MAJOR, YOU ARE TRULY ONE OF A KIND....

And thank God for that!

(In all seriousness pal, congratulations. You help make this place a helluva lot of fun. )

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=151256

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PleaseBlitz

PleaseBlitz

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One of the all-time greats:

Well guys, some of you may be interested to know sitting next to us in the press box after the game was one ESPN.com writer named Len Pasquarelli. As I was getting my gear ready, I said, "So, Len, not too bad for an ordinary Joe, huh?"

Len was immediately rather upset :).

I will tell this story more in detail soon, but, I thought you'd like to know Len HATES you, me, us as Redskin fans. He sees our questions during his chats on ESPN and his exact words were, "I ignore you f@&^#%s." Classic.

He was HIGHLY agitated. Die Hard and I kept trying to diffuse him.

The best part, of course, is, I accidentally recorded it :). In retrospect, you never know when a guy might tell a fib about what happened in the press box :).

Here's how the story goes

I'm finishing up the blog when Die Hard leans in and whispers to me, "You see the guy next to me. That's Len Pasquarelli." I looked. NO EFFING WAY. Lenny the Hutt is a gigantic squishy belly. This guy was merely a chubby, frail looking, painfully old looking man. He was small in height. Grey, thinning hair. No real resemblance to his ESPN picture. He no longer qualifies as the Hutt. He's now a Grumpy Old Man :).

I can't believe it's him to be honest. I pack my stuff up and go to the rest room where I check the audio recorder, accidentally turning it on while putting it into my pocket and walking back to the area. Grabbing my stuff, taking two steps toward Lenny and offering up my opener.

"So, Len, not too bad for an ordinary Joe, huh?"

He looks at my "Washington Redskins team official" badge and quivering a little, fingers it and says, "You work for the Redskins?" said in such a way as to mean, "Suck it." I said, "Not really. Kind of I guess." He said, "What's kind of?" I said I'm just a fan who helps run a fan site and the team lets me come along for the fun.

He said, "You're probably the site that sends all those Redskin fans to my Tuesday chats." I confirmed his suspicion, telling him, "Oh, yeah, you can bet that's us. We hate you man." To which he said, "Well you know what," little shaking hands and eye twitching, mouse like, smug, "I ignore you f@ckers."

Second edit

I laughed. This guy was RILED UP. Then he folds his arms, seems to calm momentarily and asks, "So, tell me. What was the "Ordinary Joe" comment supposed to mean?" I told him, I was just having some fun with him. He said, "Wasn't he ordinary last year?" I said he was substantially below ordinary in my view, but, that wasn't the point of his column. His column was to suggest when Gibbs was done THIS time he would be remembered as an ordinary Joe, NOT just if he struggled early.

That anger came back. "Go back and read it. Go back and read it. I wish you f@ckers would get it right. I never said the game had passed him by." I said, "I never said you did." But, he was on a roll. "I said the counter trey would still work. I said the deep-passing game would still work. I said Dan Snyder would make him fail and he'd be an ordinary Joe. Go back and do a Nessus (what he pronounced, though I suspect he meant Nexis) search. No one inside the beltway can read apparently."

Well, Len, that seems unfair, as we can read, but, perhaps going from a ponderous, squishy lard butt, to a trembling ferret has caused a mental lapse. Next update will include his original story :).

Third edit

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46245&highlight=ordinary+joe+pasquarelli

There's a link to his original story. Here's the closing, relevant portion.

I pointed out the original story was not a one-year time frame, but, a statement that Gibbs would fail OVER time, and when done this time, be remembered differently. I didn't address the flaw in the thinking that a hall of famer would be all that badly viewed even if he couldn't replicate his success. This did penetrate the parchment thin cranium though.

"Well, what's he done now? He's won one playoff game. That's nothing." I kind of giggled. Figuring this had gone on too far. The guy was a loon. I couldn't believe it. I gave him my favorite line. "Hey, look, I just wanted you to know I loved your work when you were with CBS Sportsline. Maybe one day you can be good again."

His left eye twitching, he said, "Maybe one day you can win a Super Bowl again." I said, "There you go. Maybe this year, you know, since we're still playing." To which he revealed greater contempt than I imagined he had. "Not with this coach you won't."

He turned away, but, ego is in him. Then he turned back and said, "What's changed. What's changed since then?" Since Sportsline when he was great? Before I could answer he jumps back in, "I'm a columnist. I offer opinion. Don't I have the right?" I said he sure did, but, the reason, and he interrupted. "Who are you? You're just a fan. Fanatic. A fanatic. Don't you ever offer an opinion." After a bit of spittle, I got to talk.

Sure I do Len, but the difference isn't the opinion, I told him. I said, "The difference is you come off to the reader as a bitter, angry man with an agenda." He shrugged. But I told him I did love his stuff at Sportsline. He was quality then. Money. He said, "Put that on your board then." I told him, in fact, I have. I have been very complimentary of his work at Sportsline and have remarked on the deterioration and told him so.

To which he said, "Do you want to get into it now?" Like debate it, and I told him it's ok. He should come onto the site and do a chat. He'd have fun. He said, "I ignore you f@ckers. I give it right back to you. I see the questions and I just wave them by. They ask if I'll ever talk about the Redskins and I just say no."

Man is bitter.

Fourth update

Die Hard jumped in at one point saying Glazer kind of took his spot as an information provider. Len simply wanted to know if he wrote opinion, as if that should explain away every ridiculous thing he says. Die Hard and I had to keep diffusing his anger the whole time. Laughing, making it light. Jason La Canfora kept looking back to see what was going on. I winked at him at one point. I'm sure this will make for a chilly reception in next week's box from a number of folks who will band together and actually claim this was horrible :).

He did wish me well at the end as I walked away. "Good luck being a fan." No luck needed. Just being honest is enough :).

These guys HATE fans. It's so weird since they exist because of us.

That's pretty much it with all this.

Bear in mind, this story is told exclusively from memory. Quotes are similar if not precisely right to what happened. This is meant to capture the story without having to transcribe stuff :).

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iheartskins

iheartskins

Posted
Posted

Continuing my recent emphasis of self promotion, this thread was well received when released:

iheartskins update

(If you are curious about this thread, this is what it's based on.)

Well guys, I'm sitting here in class in New York. Figured I'd let everyone know so you know where I am when I'll be celebrating the next annual Eagles choke in the [NFC Championship Game] Super Bowl.

I'll be here in New York the whole weekend. This weekend, I plan on posting in multiple threads about how the Birds are the biggest chokers in history and how much I enjoyed the [Falcons] Patriots beating them in another demoralizing loss. Just in time for me to make my last guarantee of this season: The Eagles fans will still find a way to talk a lot of trash here at ExtremeSkins.

I'm bringing the party to everyone I see so if anyone wants to meet up with me, please do. When the Eagles lose, it will be time for a celebration:

I've got my champagne:

769913649.jpg

I've got my cigars:

510-8.jpg

Just kidding Westbrook36. Only meant in good fun. Have a good trip. :)

It was making fun of Westbrook36's thread: Westbrook36 update

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