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"Dumb Blonde Jokes" HERE!


michael_33

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This isn't a dumb blonde joke as much as it is a true story involving a former Redskins cheerleader.

They made an appearance at the DC Auto Show a few years ago. After they performed on stage, they walked to a Redskins truck exhibit to have their pics taken at the truck. Well, they had to walk up a couple of steps to get to the truck. Being the gentleman I am, I stood at the bottom, helping them down after the posing. I held my hand out to one of them -- who just happened to be blonde -- to help her down and she gave me the strangest look. Then, after about a few seconds, said, "Oh, I thought you wanted me to give you five."

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Q: Why did the blonde climb the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to attract men?

A: Her feet.

A blonde takes her car to the mechanic. "It runs funny," she tells him.

"No problem," says the mechanic, "come back tonight and I'll have it ready."

At 5 p.m. she returns. "What's the story?" she inquires.

"Just crap in the carburetor" he tells her.

"OK" she says, "how often do I have to do that?"

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How do you drown a blonde?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool

How do you keep a blonde busy all day?

Tell her to sit in the corner of a circular room

What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown?

Artificial Intelligence

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A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant.

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman they don't sell rectum

deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff

from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always buy it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.

"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it

and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the

container...

" TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM "

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a blonde policewoman pulls over a blonde driver.she says she needs to see her drivers license."what do they look like?"the driver asks.

the policewomen says"they're small and square with your picture."

the driver fumbles a while in her purse and pulls out a mirror and says"here they are!"

she hands the mirror to the blonde policewoman.

the policewoman says "oh,I didnt know you was a cop,you can go now."

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A blond and a red head sitting at a bar chatting, having a few beers ect, when the bartender reached up and turned on the 6 o'clock news.

as they are watching the news a breaking story unfolds and they see the reporter standing outside of a 10 story building reporting that a mr smith is threatening to jump off, negotiators have been trying to convince him to come down, as the camera man pans to the top ledge and focuses on the man threatening to jump off.

So the blond looks over at the red head and says ill bet ya 50$ he wont jump, the red head thinks about it and say hmm ok 50$ its a bet. so they continue chatting drinking a few beers when suddenly the reporter breaks into the news again with an update on mr smith..

Here we are at the blah blah building were a Mr smith has been threatening to jump off, negotiators have been hard at work trying to convince him to come down safely, but its a sad day here because they failed to talk him down and he took his own life.

So the blond yells aww crap and reaches in her pocket and slaps 50$ on the bar, but the red head says no really we are friends i don't want your money it was a silly bet between friends.

But the blond says oh no a bets a bet i insist you take the 50$, but again the redhead says come on it was just a dumb bet we have been friends forever i don't want your money, but the blond is insistent, a bets a bet i never Welsh on a bet i insist you take it.

So the red head sighs and says look i have a confession to make, this is old news i seen this same news story on the 5 o'clock news i knew he would jump, but the blond says oh no you don't, i watched the 5 o'clock news also but i didn't think he would jump this time!

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