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Should I ask for the money back (A story/poll about working in an office!)

Heidenreich

By Heidenreich
in The Tailgate

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Heidenreich

Heidenreich

Posted
Posted

OK, here's the story. I work in an office of about 125 people, and I'm friendly with just about everyone. This story pertains to 2 of my fellow employees. As a background, both are in their twenties (One is 26, one is 28). Like a dear Abby letter (or a Penthouse forum), I will change the names to protect the innocent.

First off, Lisa (the 28 year old) is married & worked with me for 2 years. Her and I were very close, to the point where she called me her "work husband". We were close enough that rumors started about us (all unfounded), and I made it my business to denounce all of them to anyone who said anything. I considered her a friend & didn't want to tarnish her reputation & the like.....

Enter the second girl, who we'll call April. She's younger & not married. We hit it off instantly. Lisa, although she played it off as a joke, wasn't exactly nice to her, and always talked about how she "Stole her man" So the two of them have been civil, but never really got along.

Now, fast forward to today. Lisa is 8 months pregnant, and just had her baby shower at the office a couple of days ago. I gave her a check for $100 (most everyone else gave 10 or 20 dollars, but because we're so close I gave more), and I also got her a "gag gift" (A baby sized Clinton Portis jersey). April wasn't invited (because Lisa's best friend in the office hates her), so I left the shower early & we went out to lunch.

The next day, the S hit the fan. She sent me this long email about now she knows who her "real" friends are, and I'm just a phony, and an Ahole & all sorts of other things that the profanity filter will have a field day with. So anyway, after this falling out, she's not talking to me & talking S to anyone who will listen, etc, etc.

The Portis jersey hasn't arrived yet, so I'm clearly keeping that. Maybe I'll give it to my cousin or something. The question is, should I be the bigger person & let things go, or should I tell her I want my 100 dollars back? At first, I thought I should just let it go, but the more I think about it, clearly one doesn't think the things she accused me of overnight, so now if she waited until AFTER she cashed my check to write me off, that's going to get me mad.

So what do you all think, should I take my money back?

Doesn't working in an office sound like fun?

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Destino

Destino

Posted
Posted

what were her stated reasons for thinking poorly of you. Was it just that you left early or what?

I'm trying to be nice - because my standard response to those types of emails go something like this: "Go find a nice warm fire... and die in it *****"

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Xameil

Xameil

Posted
Posted

Did she explain why she felt this way? Was it because you left early?

Maybe you should try talking to her again in a bit and ask her what you did wrong. I have a feeling that since she was that far along, that her hrmones are a tad out of wack. My gf was kinda irrational and emotional (not to that extent thank god) when she was getting close to the end too. Don't ask for the money back, just try and find out wtf she thinks you did wrong. It could be her friend that HATES your friend got in her ear and is putting bad thoughts there.

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HOF44

HOF44

Posted
Posted
I wouldn't ask for the money back, even though that's more than reasonable. I just wouldn't do it. You'd be an indian giver even though she did flip out on you.

Ignore her. She's dead to you.

I agree with you mark.

Look at it this way, it cost you 100 bucks because your a bad judge of character or became to close to fast. Use the pain of losing that 100 as a reminder next time a situation comes up where you could make the same mistake.

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Heidenreich

Heidenreich

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  • Author
Posted

Wow, a lot of responses quickly. Let me tackle some of these.....

what were her stated reasons for thinking poorly of you. Was it just that you left early or what?

I'm trying to be nice - because my standard response to those types of emails go something like this: "Go find a nice warm fire... and die in it *****"

She said I act differently when the other girl isn't around, which is total BS. That's what the entire argument is about. She says that the other girl had a master plan to keep me away from the baby shower, and I'm an idiot because I fell for it. I swear to god, it's a damn soap opera.

Easy ... stop payment.

Women = stupid ... and possessive ...

Candace, best response ever. Too bad I believe she cashed it already. The only way I get the money back now is for her to give it to me. And it might be more trouble than it's worth to open that can of worms.

Did she explain why she felt this way? Was it because you left early?

Maybe you should try talking to her again in a bit and ask her what you did wrong. I have a feeling that since she was that far along, that her hrmones are a tad out of wack. My gf was kinda irrational and emotional (not to that extent thank god) when she was getting close to the end too. Don't ask for the money back, just try and find out wtf she thinks you did wrong. It could be her friend that HATES your friend got in her ear and is putting bad thoughts there.

I'm 100% sure that her friend is in her ear. I also thought about the hormonal thing as well, but she keeps doing things to push my buttons.

I agree with you mark.

Look at it this way, it cost you 100 bucks because your a bad judge of character or became to close to fast. Use the pain of losing that 100 as a reminder next time a situation comes up where you could make the same mistake.

I've known her for 2 years, I'm more upset than anything that it took me 2 years to figure out that I'm a bad judge of character.

Come on, fess up. Is the kid yours?

My last office fiasco was about this very thing. Another girl who work(ed) here started a rumor that we were having an affair. A week later, word broke that she was pregnant. Good times, let me tell you......

The best advice is clearly, don't talk to any women at work, or at the most just one. (Right now it is only one, at least....)

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oriolesfan93p

oriolesfan93p

Posted
Posted

I suggest letting it go, if she's 8months pregnant, she has all kinds of hormones going haywire and she likely overreacted, if she was that close of a friend the I would wait till after she had the kid and try to make friends with her... she should be a little more reasonable at that point and you got a better chance with the whole "just cause you 2 aren't friends doesn't mean that I can't be friends with both of you" argument.

I wouldn't throw away what seemed to be an obviously good friendship because maybe her friend managed to corrupt her view of you while she had her hormones all screwey.

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Henry

Henry

Posted
Posted

I agree with the let-it-go crowd. You gave that money to her as a gift. Consider it a parting gift.

Personally, I'd keep her at arm's length from here on out and get on with my career. This silly drama isn't worth your emotional effort, in my humble opinion.

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MoeRedskins

MoeRedskins

Posted
Posted

Dude, women are crazy. How many people weren't invited to this office shower thing of hers? If it were just that chick then the preggo is being a total *****. My advise is to let it go. One day you might be friends again, but that probably won't happen. there is a reason women rotate friends ever 3 years and men have the same ones since childhood.

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Blondie

Blondie

Posted
Posted
I agree with the let-it-go crowd. You gave that money to her as a gift. Consider it a parting gift.

Personally, I'd keep her at arm's length from here on out and get on with my career. This silly drama isn't worth your emotional effort, in my humble opinion.

THANK YOU!!

Why lose sleep or worry enough to post about this pettiness?

Drama is the right word.

Blondie

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SkinsNut73

SkinsNut73

Posted
Posted

I vote with the consider it a loss and let it go crowd...

Now, fast forward to today. Lisa is 8 months pregnant, and just had her baby shower at the office a couple of days ago. I gave her a check for $100 (most everyone else gave 10 or 20 dollars, but because we're so close I gave more), and I also got her a "gag gift" (A baby sized Clinton Portis jersey). April wasn't invited (because Lisa's best friend in the office hates her), so I left the shower early & we went out to lunch.

The next day, the S hit the fan. She sent me this long email about now she knows who her "real" friends are, and I'm just a phony, and an Ahole & all sorts of other things that the profanity filter will have a field day with. So anyway, after this falling out, she's not talking to me & talking S to anyone who will listen, etc, etc.

.

....pissed enough to send a nasty e-mail and bad mouth you to 120 people in the office...but doesn't mind cashing the $100 check? Hmmmm...interesting.

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gchwood

gchwood

Posted
Posted

Just a side note most banks charge $30 for a stop payment, so you will still lose money, I say write it off, it ain't worth it, especially when she gets a returned check charge for the check she deposited and if she were to overdraw because that money is removed from the account.

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Kurd Cudins

Kurd Cudins

Posted
Posted

I would not ask for the money back, only because she will tell everyone in your office and it will be divisive. Some people will think less of you and others just won't car. In the end, my advice would be send her a fake e-mail, phone message or such that would convince her husband she was cheating on him. She will be gone for a while soon. While she is gone create a hostile environment for her return, and hatch a plan to get her fired. If all that fails, take a dump in a box and mail it to her. :D

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