Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 Maybe this time you need to show a little self control for the sake of someone else. Might be that that's a stretch but if you try and fail... well you tried. And I don't mean trying knowing your going to fail (we've been over that attitude in this thread). Reign it in, or at least think about it. I can almost guarantee you will be glad you did. And more than likely, it will prevent you from making an arse of yourself. If you are going to do what you are going to do anyway, downplay it. Unfortunately self-control is not something I do very well at times. I'm working on figuring out the best way to deal with this in the shortest time period and with the least amount of drama. I think you underestimate her. Particularly if she has been through the trama you indicate. I've been through some pretty rough things (granted they were mostly self imposed) and after time and reflection they made me better able to deal later. Humor her, and for christs sake, don't let her know that you think so little of her self esteem (even if it's true) that you have to treat her with kid gloves. Treat her like a woman. I'm hoping that I'm underestimating her. Believe me. She's going to get every chance to explain her side of things and to make an informed and educated decision after I've explained my side things. She will be treated like a lady until she starts acting otherwise. At that point all bets are off. You didn't add fuel to the fire. Telling a lady her dress looks nice is common social interaction, and I bet it's more so considering the level of the interaction you mention exists within SCA. And yeah, I can see that discussing another guy (even if it was you in the end) in the way you did probably made you look like thoughtful and considerate person. So? No one can expect every thoughtful and considerate person they run across to be their soul mate. I'm not so sure about that, KAO. If it hadn't turned out to be ME she was talking about, I'd agree with you. Unfortunately it DID turn out to be me, and I'm not sure that those things haven't given her the idea that there IS a chance of this being something more than just a friendship. Which there is not. If you work this right Mass, you're going to wind up with what sounds like a friend anybody would want. I'll bet she will discuss whatever you do with some of the other lady's in the group. If you do good they will remember it too. Think about that one. Oh, it's ALREADY been discussed with probably half (at least) of the female members of our local group. I had mentioned the idea to a couple of her close friends beforehand to get an idea as to what they thought her reaction would be. Afterwards, Bridget has told a fairly large number of people about it as well. That's actually how this whole "crush" thing came to light. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 That can be countered by saying "sleep" over and over again I think. lol :laugh: :laugh: As for the topic of the thread... 1. You are doing a good thing MSF 2. Why do you feel obligated to do something b/c a friend told you she had a crush on you? For all you know, your friend is full of doody. Either way, it shouldn't change your behavior around her at all. .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 As for the topic of the thread...1. You are doing a good thing MSF 2. Why do you feel obligated to do something b/c a friend told you she had a crush on you? For all you know, your friend is full of doody. Either way, it shouldn't change your behavior around her at all..... Thanks for the kind words zoony. Believe it or not the support of you folks does actually mean quite a bit to me. Unfortunately it's now been confirmed by two other independent sources. I feel the need to do something because I would hate to break her heart down the road when discussing it like two adults now will hopefully let her know that while I find it very flattering, the feelings are not mutual and that there is no chance of there being any sort of romantic relationship between us. I guess what I'm saying is that if I'm going to ruin our friendship I'd rather do it now before we both go and invest a lot of time and energy into Crown Tourney preparations than to have this come to a head three weeks before Crown when all the preparations have been made and now we have to create a scene/drama/soap opera by backing out of the tournament. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 I guess what I'm saying is that if I'm going to ruin our friendship I'd rather do it now before we both go and invest a lot of time and energy into Crown Tourney preparations than to have this come to a head three weeks before Crown when all the preparations have been made and now we have to create a scene/drama/soap opera by backing out of the tournament. Well if you approach it like you say, I don't think you'll have to worry about losing a friendship. Just know that she WILL be embarassed, and she probably won't want to hang around you for a while. You'll probably have to wear the big hat early on in this respect... in that you'll have to initiate meetings, etc. with her. My point from my other post is that you shouldn't start acting differently around her just because you found out she's into you. That's not fair to her, and would probably be very devastating to her. But doesn't sound like that is the case, so you should be good. BTW... to echo what Iheart said... WE WANT PICS!!! I have a mental image of Jim Carrey from The Cable Guy when they eat dinner at medieval world. .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Air Force Cane Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 dude- you are freaking out over nothing!! do NOT have this "talk"!! just do the fight, and that is all. there is nothing you have to explain to her. if SHE brings up wanting a relationship then you can say you just don't see a future together. but you preemptively saying "oh by the way I heard you like me but I don't like you" is like being in the fourth grade. just ignore it. it makes someone worse to get dumped before you are even going out!! just say you are excited to be her champion and leave it at that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 dude- you are freaking out over nothing!!do NOT have this "talk"!! just do the fight, and that is all. there is nothing you have to explain to her. if SHE brings up wanting a relationship then you can say you just don't see a future together. but you preemptively saying "oh by the way I heard you like me but I don't like you" is like being in the fourth grade. just ignore it. it makes someone worse to get dumped before you are even going out!! just say you are excited to be her champion and leave it at that... On second thought, nevermind what I said. AFC is 100% correct. (wow, never thought I'd say that! Especially in a dating advice thread :doh: ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HOF44 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 On second thought, nevermind what I said. AFC is 100% correct. (wow, never thought I'd say that! Especially in a dating advice thread :doh: ) You know the old saying, those who can do, those who can't teach. Dems jus jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 dude- you are freaking out over nothing!!do NOT have this "talk"!! just do the fight, and that is all. there is nothing you have to explain to her. if SHE brings up wanting a relationship then you can say you just don't see a future together. but you preemptively saying "oh by the way I heard you like me but I don't like you" is like being in the fourth grade. just ignore it. it makes someone worse to get dumped before you are even going out!! just say you are excited to be her champion and leave it at that... OMG...I'm agreeing with AFC on relationship advice. I take back everthing I said in my previous posts. I kid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MonkeySkin Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 If you were a nice guy, you would go ahead and hit it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 BTW... to echo what Iheart said... WE WANT PICS!!! I have a mental image of Jim Carrey from The Cable Guy when they eat dinner at medieval world. That movie has done more to set back people's view of the SCA than just about anything else I can think of other than perhaps the scripted Renessaince Faires. For exactly that reason. What we do is unscripted. It's full force and full speed. There's no choreography or pre-planning to our combat. As for photos... I GET IT!!! There will be photos. Probably some in the near future as things start to take shape and DEFINITELY as garb (clothing), armor, shields, etc... get finished and from the day of the tournament itself. Here's a couple to whet your appetite. These two are a couple years old and show me in my old, black leather armor during a local practice.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Air Force Cane Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 See, this is what you guys fail to understand! I am a MASTER at dating- I take women on the most amazing dates (National Symphony Orchestra, day trips to Annapolis, overnights to Gettysburg, Washington Opera, best restaurants in DC). Where I am lacking is in the MARRIAGE department :cool: Meaning I can date all types of women, the problem is in knowing which one to marry and which ones not to!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 dude- you are freaking out over nothing!!do NOT have this "talk"!! just do the fight, and that is all. there is nothing you have to explain to her. if SHE brings up wanting a relationship then you can say you just don't see a future together. but you preemptively saying "oh by the way I heard you like me but I don't like you" is like being in the fourth grade. just ignore it. it makes someone worse to get dumped before you are even going out!! just say you are excited to be her champion and leave it at that... That is very good advice Cane. Unfortunately it would appear that she's working on getting the courage up to ask me out. That's how the whole thing came to light... she asked one of our mutual friends if I was seeing anyone currently (which I am not). When the friend responded that she did not believe that I was, and asked why Bridget wanted to know, the whole crush thing came up. I will definitely take your advice under consideration as I work on the best way to deal with this. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zguy28 Posted May 1, 2006 Share Posted May 1, 2006 This guys looks like he's a bad***. But I wouldn't want to take a rattan shot to the shoulder! BTW...I checked Nice Guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 1, 2006 Author Share Posted May 1, 2006 This guys looks like he's a bad***. But I wouldn't want to take a rattan shot to the shoulder! He's from a Midrealm house called Roma. They're all Roman personas and dress is very accurate roman armor. Yes, that shoulder is very exposed, but considering he fights with a spear (saw him at Pennsic last year), not a close combat weapon he can generally get away with it. BTW...I checked Nice Guy. Thanks for the support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 2, 2006 Author Share Posted May 2, 2006 UPDATE (again): It's OFFICIAL now!!!!! As of approximately 9pm last night, I officially have a consort for Crown Tourney. I was out in the Springfield area at the monthly business meeting for our neighboring group, and Bridget happened to be there as well. We were both there to give reports on joint events that our group is doing with the Springfield group. At the end of the meeting I walked over, gave her a friendly hug (as is our custom) and asked her how things were going. After a couple "ummms" and "well's" she told me that she'd been thinking. I didn't have to ask about what and simply responded with an "Oh?" Her response, which I will never forget, as long as I live... "Well, if you still think that maybe you might want to do Crown Tourney, then the answer is Yes." I nearly went through the ceiling. If we hadn't been in a restaurant I would probably have screamed. I immediately thanked her, told her that I was DEFINITELY still interested in doing it, and that she had just make me very happy by accepting my request. By this point the local Baron (who knows both Bridget and myself quite well) had noticed the two of us over in the corner having some sort of semi-animated discussion and came over to investigate. When he asked what was going on, I looked at Bridget, she nodded her ascent to making the news officially public, and I told Lyle (the Baron). Lyle then turned around and made the general announcement to the twenty-five to thirty people still hanging around after the meeting. Which meant that fifteen seconds later both Bridget and I were swamped with a horde of well-wishers and congratulations. It was another twenty-five minutes before we were able to make our way to the door and get out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xameil Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Congrats MSF. Now the real fun begins...training, and more training. Keep it up, and Good luck to you. I'll be cheering for ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Wooo Hooo! Right on buddy. Give'm hell! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 2, 2006 Author Share Posted May 2, 2006 Congrats MSF. Now the real fun begins...training, and more training. Yep. The jogging starts tonight in the rain and then I'm off to practice for two hours. Should be interesting tonight as two of our local guys are participating in the SPRING Crown Tourney in the Montreal area this Saturday and I'm sure they're gonna want to get a good workout before they drive up there tomorrow night. Keep it up, and Good luck to you. I'll be cheering for ya. Thanks. I'll keep you folks updated as major things occur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 :applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xameil Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 MSF...how's the training going? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistymjohnson Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Mmm... Rattan! - This was taken on the day I first learned of Rattan Canes - PS. - You're a nice guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChocolateCitySkin Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Do you carry your gun when your engaged in sword fighting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted May 24, 2006 Share Posted May 24, 2006 Do you carry your gun when your engaged in sword fighting? I'm guessing he does. Never know when you'll have to snipe somebody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 MSF...how's the training going? It's going forward. Not as quickly or as smootly as I would like, but it's progressing. One of the other local fighters is planning on fighting in Crown Tourney this fall so we're trying to work together... push each other... make sure neither one of us falls off the "workout wagon". We now know who's crown it is that I will be fighting for as well. His Grace, Dux (Duke) Lucan von Drakenklau won this spring's Crown Tourney a couple of weeks ago. He's from Rhode Island, so hopefully this fall's tournament won't be TOO far from this area. Lastly, the relationship issue seems to have played itself out without a major disaster. Bridget asked a mutual friend of ours whether I was involved with anyone a couple weeks back and the response was "No, but I don't believe he's looking for one right now." (which is true). Bridget's reaction was something along the line of "Oh, ok." So hopefully that little potential disaster has been averted. Yours In Service to the Dream, Lord Haraldr Orn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mass_SkinsFan Posted May 24, 2006 Author Share Posted May 24, 2006 Mmm... Rattan! - This was taken on the day I first learned of Rattan Canes - PS. - You're a nice guy! Something tells me that we go after each other with a little more force and authority than your "torturer" probably did. Are you involved in Ren Faire's perchance, MiLady? BTW - Thank you for the support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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