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Man severs own (you know), throws it at officers


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Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

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  • 6 years later...

Man severs his penis with X-Acto knife

A 20-year-old man cut off his penis early Wednesday in Fremont with an X-Acto knife, police said.

Officers were called to a home on the 4300 block of Mowry Avenue about 2 a.m. by the man’s brother, said police Detective Bill Veteran.

The victim was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, Veteran said. The reason for his action is unknown.

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A friend of mine put her balls on an anvil and smashed them with a sledge hammer in her high school shop class. She's feeling much better these days.

Am I correct in assuming that she wasn't a "she" at the time of the incident, but now is, in part because of the incident?

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Am I correct in assuming that she wasn't a "she" at the time of the incident, but now is, in part because of the incident?

She was both for a while. Actually fathered a child. I think she's a she now, but I'm not sure. She likes to be called a she. Total gearhead and ex outlaw biker and tough as nails. I usually refer to her as her, unless we're talking car or bike stuff, then I say he.

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Well intellectually speaking that might have been the smartest move the guy could make... Takes a little disipline and all... but think of it this way... The police are coming to get you... you messed up and are looking at several months in jail. You are perhaps a little guy, worried about jail, you are unemployed with no long term prospects... you have lead and are looking at a life of desparation...

Choosing to follow the path he has taken,

  • Has no long term concequences ( it was re-attached)...
  • Nobody is going to bother you in prison
  • When you get out you will be a celebrity
  • John Bobbet channelled his such celebrety into a movie career and long term fiscal solvency?
  • After your fame is all over you will still be able to compete with the like of Danny Partidge, Mickey Doulan, and Fawn Hall on the celebrity circuit... Maybe box Irkle for 100 k in prize money..

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