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Ok, explain this one...(dating advice needed)


Painkiller

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Friday night I met a girl a bar. We kind of hit it off, danced, and had a good time. Of course, I hit her up for her digits, and got em. We ended the night with a hug, and kiss on lips, and said our goodbye's.

WELL. Saturday, I get a call from my brother, who tells me that a mutual friend of his, and the girl I met called him. She wants to know "why I haven't called (girl in question) yet?" This is around 6:00p.m. on Saturday. (Less then 24 hours since I last spoke to her)

Saturday, I already had plans to take a friend of mine out for beers at Hooters that night, because he's going through an ugly divorce. I'm thinking to myself, this is really REALLY weird that she is expecting a call from me already.

SO. I don't call her Saturday, and instead I call her Sunday at about 2:00 in the afternoon, and get her voicemail. I leave her a message with my numbers, and I as of yet have received no call back.

Now, my question is...have I already blown it with this girl, because I didn't call her the NEXT day after meeting her? That goes against all conventional dating knowledge. In all my years of dating, I have yet to encounter this situation. You NEVER call the next day, that makes you look desperate. Most women, in my experience would not LIKE a call on the next day. I'm stumped... :laugh: A little clarification please!?

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Friday night I met a girl a bar. We kind of hit it off, danced, and had a good time. Of course, I hit her up for her digits, and got em. We ended the night with a hug, and kiss on lips, and said our goodbye's.

WELL. Saturday, I get a call from my brother, who tells me that a mutual friend of his, and the girl I met called him. She wants to know "why I haven't called (girl in question) yet?" This is around 6:00p.m. on Saturday. (Less then 24 hours since I last spoke to her)

Saturday, I already had plans to take a friend of mine out for beers at Hooters that night, because he's going through an ugly divorce. I'm thinking to myself, this is really REALLY weird that she is expecting a call from me already.

SO. I don't call her Saturday, and instead I call her Sunday at about 2:00 in the afternoon, and get her voicemail. I leave her a message with my numbers, and I as of yet have received no call back.

Now, my question is...have I already blown it with this girl, because I didn't call her the NEXT day after meeting her? That goes against all conventional dating knowledge. In all my years of dating, I have yet to encounter this situation. You NEVER call the next day, that makes you look desperate. Most women, in my experience would not LIKE a call on the next day. I'm stumped... :laugh: A little clarification please!?

Dude, stay away. There is a word for chicks like that. . . psycho!!!

If she is REALLY hot, and I mean like you want to get her just for the sake of saying that you nailed this runway model type babe, then give her another call later in the week. Otherwise, she is best left alone my friend.

Any girl who expects a guy to call her within 24 hours, and then won't talk to him if they don't call is one needy biatch, something you don't want. My advice would be to stay away, but. . .if you really want to add her to the belt, then give her a buzz later in the week to make plans for the weekend. Still, not worth the effort, there are so many single women out there, why get involved with a psycho when you know up front she's a psycho. I think she did you a world of good and saved you months of heartache or acting the way she did. . . but then again, when you bump into her, you can always hang your hat on the fact that you called her, and that's your in for the night :D

Don't hate the player, hate the game :laugh:

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Dude, stay away. There is a word for chicks like that. . . psycho!!!

If she is REALLY hot, and I mean like you want to get her just for the sake of saying that you nailed this runway model type babe, then give her another call later in the week. Otherwise, she is best left alone my friend.

Any girl who expects a guy to call her within 24 hours, and then won't talk to him if they don't call is one needy biatch, something you don't want. My advice would be to stay away, but. . .if you really want to add her to the belt, then give her a buzz later in the week to make plans for the weekend. Still, not worth the effort, there are so many single women out there, why get involved with a psycho when you know up front she's a psycho. I think she did you a world of good and saved you months of heartache or acting the way she did. . . but then again, when you bump into her, you can always hang your hat on the fact that you called her, and that's your in for the night :D

Don't hate the player, hate the game :laugh:

Yeah, I'm starting to figure Psycho.

I mean...she can't POSSIBLY be upset with me for not calling her on Saturday. If she is, then your right. I need to stay away. (She's only 23 by the way)

When I do see her again, and she gives me an attitude. I'll say, "hey, I did call you. What did you expect?" :laugh:

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Yeah, I'm starting to figure Psycho.

I mean...she can't POSSIBLY be upset with me for not calling her on Saturday. If she is, then your right. I need to stay away. (She's only 23 by the way)

When I do see her again, and she gives me an attitude. I'll say, "hey, I did call you. What did you expect?" :laugh:

Exactly!!! And you already have an "in" with her, as you made the last move.

You're starting to learn the game, just remember no good soldier goes off to battle without his helmet and you'll be fine :D

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Yeah, I'm starting to figure Psycho.

I mean...she can't POSSIBLY be upset with me for not calling her on Saturday. If she is, then your right. I need to stay away. (She's only 23 by the way)

When I do see her again, and she gives me an attitude. I'll say, "hey, I did call you. What did you expect?" :laugh:

News flash PK, you are 30, most of the normal girls are already taken.

But, you don't know that the girl in question was mad - as best I can tell from your first post, it was a different girl who wanted to know why you haven't called.

Maybe she didn't call you back today because one of her close friends in going through a tough break-up and she needed to be there to offer support.

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News flash PK, you are 30, most of the normal girls are already taken..

:laugh: Ain't that the truth, and the ones you THINK are normal end up turning out to be completely crazy.

But, you don't know that the girl in question was mad - as best I can tell from your first post, it was a different girl who wanted to know why you haven't called.

The thing is, she is 23, did she really EXPECT me to call her? Like you said, I'm 30. She has to know at her age that's not the way things usually work. Most men won't call a girl the next day, and if you did, they immediately think ...DESPERATE.

Maybe she didn't call you back today because one of her close friends in going through a tough break-up and she needed to be there to offer support.

Yup, maybe there is a legitimate reason why she didn't call back today. If I don't hear from her within a couple days. I will figure Chomerics is right.

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Dude, stay away. There is a word for chicks like that. . . psycho!!!

If she is REALLY hot, and I mean like you want to get her just for the sake of saying that you nailed this runway model type babe, then give her another call later in the week. Otherwise, she is best left alone my friend.

Damn Chom I never thought I would agree with you, but I could not have said it better myself.

But I think a lot depends on the friend of his brother. I mean when you read the post you automatically think this chick is nuts but none of us know how the conversation really went. It could have been an innocent type "she really likes him" kind of conversation. My advice to Painkiller would be to ask your brother if he got a creepy vibe by the phone call. Hell hath no fury like some crazy chick keying your car.

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Damn Chom I never thought I would agree with you, but I could not have said it better myself.

But I think a lot depends on the friend of his brother. I mean when you read the post you automatically think this chick is nuts but none of us know how the conversation really went. It could have been an innocent type "she really likes him" kind of conversation. My advice to Painkiller would be to ask your brother if he got a creepy vibe by the phone call. Hell hath no fury like some crazy chick keying your car.

Well, my brother called me shortly after he got off the phone with the friend, and told me. "you need to call her man, call her." I definately got the vibe, that she was really interested, which was cool, but also like....woah. Alarms went off, know what I mean?

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Well, my brother called me shortly after he got off the phone with the friend, and told me. "you need to call her man, call her." I definately got the vibe, that she was really interested, which was cool, but also like....woah. Alarms went off, know what I mean?

Yeah I know where your coming from but how old is this chick?

I don't know but if I we're you I'd probably let it slide but I would stay on my guard and if she gives you anymore bad vibes. RUN

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Sounds like your brother, or a friend of his through casual conversation, tried to hook you up without letting you in on it.

This whole "Psycho" babble from previous posters sounds like crap, been watching too many re-runs of Fatal Attraction.

If you had a good time with her, set up a lunch date. Club personalities vs. daytime personalities can be 180. I find it hard to believe that some anonymous women that you met in a club just so happened to be a friend of a friend.

Take the lady out to lunch outside the club scene, if you hit it off great. If you don't, it only costs you a lunch. Ignore the idiots that claim all the good women have been taken.

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Take the lady out to lunch outside the club scene, if you hit it off great. If you don't, it only costs you a lunch. Ignore the idiots that claim all the good women have been taken.

I agree with this suggestion.

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If you hit it off and she gave you her digits, then she thought you were for her. Good sign.

If she is ALREADY calling around to find out WHY you have not called her LESS than a day after you met, well........bad sign. Too pushy. Desparate?

After reading your other threads about your relationships, take it slow and easy. Find out more about her and then go from there.

You know we, as women, can be great friends, but not necessarily great girlfriends.

Blondie

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Friday night I met a girl a bar. We kind of hit it off, danced, and had a good time. Of course, I hit her up for her digits, and got em. We ended the night with a hug, and kiss on lips, and said our goodbye's.

WELL. Saturday, I get a call from my brother, who tells me that a mutual friend of his, and the girl I met called him. She wants to know "why I haven't called (girl in question) yet?" This is around 6:00p.m. on Saturday. (Less then 24 hours since I last spoke to her)

Saturday, I already had plans to take a friend of mine out for beers at Hooters that night, because he's going through an ugly divorce. I'm thinking to myself, this is really REALLY weird that she is expecting a call from me already.

SO. I don't call her Saturday, and instead I call her Sunday at about 2:00 in the afternoon, and get her voicemail. I leave her a message with my numbers, and I as of yet have received no call back.

Now, my question is...have I already blown it with this girl, because I didn't call her the NEXT day after meeting her? That goes against all conventional dating knowledge. In all my years of dating, I have yet to encounter this situation. You NEVER call the next day, that makes you look desperate. Most women, in my experience would not LIKE a call on the next day. I'm stumped... :laugh: A little clarification please!?

Did she give you her IM screen name?

Not that she's crazy, or a stalker or anything...;)

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I agree that it was bold of her to contact you via your brother. And commend you for reccognizing the red flag there. But your expectations of a 23 yo couldn't have been too high anyway, so like Chom said give her another call if you want to, but this one won't pan out long term. At 30 most people are getting serious about life, career, goals, and family. At 23 most are just getting finnished with school or started working and are not focusing too hard on long term. I'd stick to looking for candidates that are between + - 3 years (27-33), they'll be allot more compatible and hopefully be on the same page as far as your plan for the next 10 years. You do have a plan? :laugh:

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Friday night I met a girl a bar. We kind of hit it off, danced, and had a good time. Of course, I hit her up for her digits, and got em. We ended the night with a hug, and kiss on lips, and said our goodbye's.

WELL. Saturday, I get a call from my brother, who tells me that a mutual friend of his, and the girl I met called him. She wants to know "why I haven't called (girl in question) yet?" This is around 6:00p.m. on Saturday. (Less then 24 hours since I last spoke to her)

Saturday, I already had plans to take a friend of mine out for beers at Hooters that night, because he's going through an ugly divorce. I'm thinking to myself, this is really REALLY weird that she is expecting a call from me already.

SO. I don't call her Saturday, and instead I call her Sunday at about 2:00 in the afternoon, and get her voicemail. I leave her a message with my numbers, and I as of yet have received no call back.

Now, my question is...have I already blown it with this girl, because I didn't call her the NEXT day after meeting her? That goes against all conventional dating knowledge. In all my years of dating, I have yet to encounter this situation. You NEVER call the next day, that makes you look desperate. Most women, in my experience would not LIKE a call on the next day. I'm stumped... :laugh: A little clarification please!?

If you trully like her you should have played it off and called her to make sure she made it home Okay.

If it was a booty call you should have tried to hit it the same night because a booty call is a act of desperation.

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I agree that it was bold of her to contact you via your brother. And commend you for reccognizing the red flag there. But your expectations of a 23 yo couldn't have been too high anyway, so like Chom said give her another call if you want to, but this one won't pan out long term. At 30 most people are getting serious about life, career, goals, and family. At 23 most are just getting finnished with school or started working and are not focusing too hard on long term. I'd stick to looking for candidates that are between + - 3 years (27-33), they'll be allot more compatible and hopefully be on the same page as far as your plan for the next 10 years. You do have a plan? :laugh:

A plan? I'm 27 and still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up! :cool:

To throw in my :2cents: ....might as well give it a chance and see what happens. I would see if she called back, since the ball is in her court now so to speak. If she does, might as well see where it goes from there. (And you can figure out what the quick call was for.) If not, plenty of other fishy fish in the sea....

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Friday night I met a girl a bar. We kind of hit it off, danced, and had a good time. Of course, I hit her up for her digits, and got em. We ended the night with a hug, and kiss on lips, and said our goodbye's.

WELL. Saturday, I get a call from my brother, who tells me that a mutual friend of his, and the girl I met called him. She wants to know "why I haven't called (girl in question) yet?" This is around 6:00p.m. on Saturday. (Less then 24 hours since I last spoke to her)

Saturday, I already had plans to take a friend of mine out for beers at Hooters that night, because he's going through an ugly divorce. I'm thinking to myself, this is really REALLY weird that she is expecting a call from me already.

SO. I don't call her Saturday, and instead I call her Sunday at about 2:00 in the afternoon, and get her voicemail. I leave her a message with my numbers, and I as of yet have received no call back.

Now, my question is...have I already blown it with this girl, because I didn't call her the NEXT day after meeting her? That goes against all conventional dating knowledge. In all my years of dating, I have yet to encounter this situation. You NEVER call the next day, that makes you look desperate. Most women, in my experience would not LIKE a call on the next day. I'm stumped... :laugh: A little clarification please!?

Do whatever you feel like while still being respectful to her.

It does not matter what you do. It does not matter how your actions *can* be percieved. They will be percieved correctly - you cannot fake it. You will look desperate if you are desperate, and you will not look desperate if you are not.

You could have called her 5 minutes after the goodnight kiss without seeming desperate... you can put off calling her for weeks and still seem desperate... you cannot fake it.

By the way, does she have a good reason to expect your call so early?

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