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I've seen live births, they beautiful.

I read the placenta is super nutritious and good for the mothers to eat.

Watching the birth of my girl was awesome, no doubt.  And the placenta **** didn't freak/gross me out.  But no way me or the wife were eating that ****.  I don't care what doctors, experts say, nobody is going to convince me that eating the placenta is a good thing. 

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Awesome man! Congrats to you and your wife, hope she is doing good. Now get that lil guy some Redskins gear stat! :)

Man, I thought she was going to die before that epidural. Once it hit though, ****ing easy street.

She was a rock star through the whole thing.

My boy Springlesworth! Congrats!!

Now get some redskins gear on that dude asap!

You know he has a Redskins onsie, pacifier, booties. All that ****.

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Springfield, congrats. 8 lbs 21 oz. 21 for Sean Taylor. Healthy weight, big boy, keep feedin' him that protein. He'll be the next Joe Jacoby in no time (more handsome of course) ;)

You're a sharp dude Spring, think the kid is in great hands.

Wow, I've never been out of likes until now. I like all yalls' posts.

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Skittles are so ****ing horrible, I need to stop eating them. I can feel my teeth rotting as I chew them.

I get that way with sour patch kids- yeah I still eat them, they're too damn delicious

Congrats man! No better joy! (Baby, not skittles) - although mine woke me up at 1145 - that kid and paw patrol. Finally went back down, just needed a dose of his animated dogs. That and his 2 year molars - what a **** those are...

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Congrats, Springy! (And a "Hail-you go, girl!" to your wife, LOL)

My mind is always completely blown when I see newborns, little fingers & toes that will be big one day!

(Seahags game might actually be necessary to his future well-being, getting used to losing and all...), although we're hoping to win by 30...

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Watching the birth of my girl was awesome, no doubt.  And the placenta **** didn't freak/gross me out.  But no way me or the wife were eating that ****.  I don't care what doctors, experts say, nobody is going to convince me that eating the placenta is a good thing. 

I think my whack job sister in law ate it. I think she dried it out, turned it into dust and would sprinkle it on her food. I wish I was joking.

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Man, I thought she was going to die before that epidural. Once it hit though, ****ing easy street.

She was a rock star through the whole thing.

You know he has a Redskins onsie, pacifier, booties. All that ****.

Women milk childbirth way too much. "Oh, it hurts!"

 

I went low for a tackle on big RB once and took a knee to the helmet. That hurt. 

Skittles are so ****ing horrible, I need to stop eating them.  I can feel my teeth rotting as I chew them.

Ya. First time I encountered Skittles I as a kid, I was given them with no context—I thought they were M&Ms. Skittles taste like betrayal and deceit to me. 

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I'm sitting here at the hospital cafe that has a view of people coming in and out.

I'm thinking to myself, "Which one of the mo****ers has the 'bola"

My wife had neck surgery a few years ago to fix a slipped disk that was encroaching a nerve. The surgery was scheduled for 50 minutes, so I grab a bite in the cafeteria and head back up to the waiting area. The clock ticks to 1 hour and 15 minutes, no word yet. At about 1 hour and 20 minutes a priest comes out and stands by the reception desk and stands there talking to the lady at the desk. Not 30 seconds later, they call me over to the phone at the desk.

 

I'm having a minor heart attack at this point. I get on the phone and it's the surgeon, and he's telling me that the procedure went well and that she's headed back to the recovery room. 

 

I wanted to yell at that priest, "Go stand somewhere else, Padre!"

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When my first was being born, the cord was wrapped around her neck. Every time my wife would push, the her (the baby's) heart rate would plummet. We had a whole bunch of nurses in the room, ready to rush her in for an emergency c-section. I didn't get to cut her cord, because the doctor had to cut it as soon as the head and neck were through. A nurse got blasted by umbilical blood in the face. She's probably immune to all human diseases now. 

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Hey Springy, if you haven't already, when you get a chance go to the drug store and pick up some Mylicon.  It's gas relief drops for infants/newborns.  It's not expensive and you might not need it, but oh man, its a miracle quick fix when you do.  All our friends told us to buy some before Tazette was born.  I waited and had to hit the CVS up at 1:30 - 2:00 am to get some one morning.  

 

Yes, my bad luck of getting stuck in lines also extends from fast food joints to pharmacies.  I got stuck behind some walker from Walking Dead, or a crack whore (not much difference) and she was filling like 10 prescriptions.  Anyhow, after the wife gave her the two drops or whatever the dose was, 10 mins later, no crying, gas gone, baby asleep.  

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