Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

Random Thought Thread


Recommended Posts

Just chilling in the labor room watching contractions on a computer monitor. Don't mind me.

At least you're at the hospital now.  Just a matter of time man.  I'll tell you a funny story about how I almost missed the birth of our daughter.  A near EPIC FAIL.  

 

I remember sitting in the labor room, was kicked back watching TV.  After they broke her water for her, the doc said I would be a father by 6-7 am the next morning (he told me this around 11:30/12:00 am).  So the wife was lying there and she kept refusing the epidural cause she wasn't in that much pain.  

 

I tell her that I'm taking a nap cause its gonna be 6 hours, I'm gonna catch some sleep figuring I'll be up most of the next two weeks.  I get awakened by her right around 3:00 am.  She's in pain, asks for the epidural, too late, fully dilated.  Nurse walks out, wife is flipping out asking me what she is gonna do.

 

If this happens to you, avoid the following response:  "Uhhhh, it will be ok honey, millions of women went through natural child birth, especially hundreds and hundreds of years ago."  "It's not like you have any other choices now."

 

I can still see the look of anger/fear in her eyes cause she burned a hole through my soul.  If memory serves, she called me an asshole jerk too.  So, they call for the doctor over the intercom system.  I decide to run into the bathroom real fast, wash my face off to help wake up.  While I'm in there I hear the doctor ask where I was, they told him in the bathroom.  Then I hear him say, "Whatever, lets do this."

 

I'm drying off my face like WTF?  So I go out and there are like 4 nurses all around the bed with equipment everywhere.  I couldn't get to my wife's side, she was completely surrounded.  I was like, I'm right here babe, breathe (lol, yeah I said that).  Two or three pushes and Tazette popped out and I was a father.  

 

I literally was probably 2 mins away from missing the birth if I was in the bathroom any longer.  I don't know if you have a weak stomach (I don't) but if not, make sure to cut the cord.  I didn't, not because I was grossed out, I was literally in shock looking at my daughter that I froze up and all I could do was stare at her.  

 

Anyhow, good luck to your wife and you Springy.  ****s about to get real quick :)

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh my, that thing...

 

 

Anyway.

 

They have Nats bobble heads at McDonalds, drive-thru only though.  

 

Wait don't you live in Charlotte ?

 

Just chilling in the labor room watching contractions on a computer monitor. Don't mind me.

 

We don't want to see that ****, nor do you.

 

haha. Congrats brother. Happy to invite a new Redskins fan. This one won't be jaded like many of us.

 

You need anything ?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Watching Inning 10 of the Baseball series by Ken Burns. They're talking about the '94 Strike that pretty much crippled baseball for the next decade.

 

I wonder if the same thing would've happened to the NFL in '82 if they didn't come back to play

Link to post
Share on other sites

Watching Inning 10 of the Baseball series by Ken Burns. They're talking about the '94 Strike that pretty much crippled baseball for the next decade.

 

I wonder if the same thing would've happened to the NFL in '82 if they didn't come back to play

I don't think it would have.  Not for an entire decade, though it would have definitely hurt their accelerated success.  The thing about baseball, while it was America's past time that was so long ago.  According to the Harris Polls (I'm sure there are varying sources/stats) but NFL football has been the most popular sport in America since 1965.

 

What's crazy, its more popular (NFL 35%) than the next three popular sports combined (baseball 16%, college football 11%, auto racing 8%).  

 

Thing about the NFL, they market the product a lot better than the other sports.  I think a 16 game season (14 back in the day) and playoffs, helps because it's a limited number of games.  

 

While everyone hates strikes, I think people are easier to forgive when they are over with as far as the NFL is concerned.  Football is more exciting than baseball because it's a full collision every play.  I love baseball, but its not as fast paced and there is an excruciating 162 game season.  

Edited by Dont Taze Me Bro
Link to post
Share on other sites

My god...

 

its like two tectonic plates shifting.  get your hand caught in there and you might lose it.

 

what I wouldn't do to be the fabric of that thong...lodged deep up in that crevasse

Link to post
Share on other sites

its like two tectonic plates shifting. get your hand caught in there and you might lose it.

what I wouldn't do to be the fabric of that thong...lodged deep up in that crevasse

**** the hand... Your whole damn body.

Might need a submersible to get deep in that **** or you might get crushed from all the pressure.

Edited by Mr. Sinister
Link to post
Share on other sites

While everyone hates strikes, I think people are easier to forgive when they are over with as far as the NFL is concerned.  Football is more exciting than baseball because it's a full collision every play.  I love baseball, but its not as fast paced and there is an excruciating 162 game season.  

I am astounded by how popular the National Football League is in this country. I understand why Major League Baseball was the premiere game for the first half of the 20th century because it was pretty much the only show in town. The NFL was still finding itself and professional hockey was still a very regional sport. But, football so utterly dominates the national sports scene that everything else has become an afterthought. Usually, when other sports grab the headlines on SportsCenter or in the paper, it's because of a superstar player like LeBron or Derek Jeter. The NFL alone, though, commands the attention of an entire country.

 

I don't even know if the current barage of setbacks, including the FCC's blackout ruling, can stop the NFL.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yep, I thought if Ix thought McDonalds had Nats bobble heads available only by going through the drive-thru, he would go, thus breaking his phobia.

 

This guy won't chase tail but you expect him to chase a bobblehead ?

 

Well...you have a point there.

Edited by Kosher Ham
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

I am astounded by how popular the National Football League is in this country. I understand why Major League Baseball was the premiere game for the first half of the 20th century because it was pretty much the only show in town. The NFL was still finding itself and professional hockey was still a very regional sport. But, football so utterly dominates the national sports scene that everything else has become an afterthought. Usually, when other sports grab the headlines on SportsCenter or in the paper, it's because of a superstar player like LeBron or Derek Jeter. The NFL alone, though, commands the attention of an entire country.

 

I don't even know if the current barage of setbacks, including the FCC's blackout ruling, can stop the NFL.

Eventually, they will hit a ceiling.  But there isn't another professional sport that can compete head on to the NFL in this country and dethrone them.  

 

The interesting thing about the whole FCC blackout stuff is the FCC still stated that they can still privately negotiate its own rules with cable/satellite companies.  Just those agreements wouldn't have the backing of the Federal Government.  

 

So the NFL claims that the local games are aired for free in the local market for every game and not subject to blackout.  All I could find was that its a 75 mile radius of the city.  So, that must mean over the airwaves where you have to be in that radius and use an antenna right?  

Edited by Dont Taze Me Bro
Link to post
Share on other sites

Ignorance here admittedly...the FCC ?

 

The whole thing seems silly to me.

 

Why and who are telling me what I can or can't listen to or watch in a free speech situation ?

 

That will be my next reading project.

That should have never existed.

 

But, I will read. Thank goodness I can.

Edited by Kosher Ham
Link to post
Share on other sites

God dammit, my boss is such a ****ing insensitive money whore. Put pressure on me to put this pup up for sale today. I've been taking care of it for a month, it's barely started eating regular puppy food. I straight up told her no, I am taking him home again. I still want to make him stronger, and eating hard dog food on the reg. Got in to another argument with her. I've stepped up my game this year, going way beyond what my job description is. I am working my frickin' ass off to keep pups healthy, yet NOW, when I'm at my peak output, when pups have never been happier or healthier, I get hassled every time I see her. In front of employees! Hello?? Anybody in there!?!? Think McFly, think!

Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah - also don't trust if the doctor says 'look at this' - my wife had to have a c-section and they had the paper screen up so she wouldn't see/grab/etc., so the doctor says, 'do you want to see your baby? look!' and i peeped over the screen to see what I've only seen in a zombie movie, my sons head poking out of my wife's stomach where it literally looked like he had just busted through, skin was tight around him to blend in too.  I slowly lowered back down looking like a ghost - was not ready for that image haha

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like she's not attractive...

 

agreed.  But the ugly ones are usually good with their moufs.  if she looks like a munktar, she better know how to cook a steak and slurp'n'burp if she ever wants to be married.

Link to post
Share on other sites

yeah - also don't trust if the doctor says 'look at this' - my wife had to have a c-section and they had the paper screen up so she wouldn't see/grab/etc., so the doctor says, 'do you want to see your baby? look!' and i peeped over the screen to see what I've only seen in a zombie movie, my sons head poking out of my wife's stomach where it literally looked like he had just busted through, skin was tight around him to blend in too. I slowly lowered back down looking like a ghost - was not ready for that image haha

I actually saw a few of those delivery videos on YouTube a couple years back. **** was so crazy lol, especially right before it comes out and her joint looks like its about to explode.

This is coming from a guy who frequented sites like the infamous BigDucky.com during his high school years, doing crime scene cleanup briefly, and watching several autopsies.

Edited by Mr. Sinister
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

man, i don't know if i'll be able to look

 

I'll be head over heels to see my baby, but at the same time, my favorite hangout spot in the whole world is being torn in half :(

Edited by Chew
Link to post
Share on other sites

Aw mawh gawd its happening a real life gurl is coming over to my apartment tomorrow omg omg okay what do I do? Do I put on scented candles?  My room is a mess I got to wash everything and clean everything. Do I need to scrub the floors? Should I have music playing? Condoms do I need condoms? Are there instructions how to put one on? I should clean my bathroom out completely make sure there is not a single piece of hair in the sink. Make the toilet smell like flowers? Do I put flowers on the bed is that too much? Snack I need to go buy snacks and drinks. okay what else what else do I act like a wigger or no? Do I use my regualr personality even tho I really don't remember what that was because I've been a troll for too long to remember what I was in real life? 

 

 

crazy-kid-birthday-gif.gif

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Jumbo changed the title to Random Thought Thread
  • Jumbo locked this topic
  • Jumbo unlocked this topic
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...