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I want to order a pizza.

Problem: I like Pizza Hut. And a few months ago, the Pizza Hut that delivers to me installed a new thing on their phone. I phone them, and I get a recording, that opens up with "Thank you for calling your Archer Road Pizza Hut, where we have an all you can eat buffet every day from (whatever hours). We have lots of great specials going on right now. like a large, three topping pizza, an order of breadsticks, a two liter Pepsi, and . . . "

I have no idea how long the commercials are that they've decided to force every single potential customer to sit through, every time they call, are, because I've hung up every time the second commercial starts.

I refuse to be treated that badly.

And it seems like it's everywhere.

Lately, Mom has been wanting a burger, every day, for lunch. She likes Checkers. So, every day, I take her through the drive-thru at Checkers.

I pull up to the speaker. "Hi, would you like to try the Big Buford in a combo?"

I give them my order. Usually, then, I have to wait, because they weren't ready for me to order. Then it's "Would you like some french fries with that?"

"No." They give me my total.

I drive up to the window. They give me my total, again. I have them my plastic. "Would you like to add two apple pies for a dollar?"

Yeah, I understand the idea of suggestive selling.

Once.

But three times?

To me, once is an attempt to make a sale. Three times is harassment.

Seems like it takes me 15 minutes to get through the checkout lines at most retailers, now days. And a part of the reason is that the cashiers are under orders to try to make the customers take longer. "Would you like to sign up for our privacy invasion card, right now, while I and everybody in line behind you waits?" "Would you like to buy an extended warranty on that product?" "Would you like to have us install that?" "Here, please wait while our cash register prints out 9 coupons and rebate forms and advertisements".

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That seems to be more of a Drag name than stripper.

Nah, not possible. A dude in drag can make any name sound bad. If a select memory of ours is erased, I could throw the name "Ru Paul " out there and no one would bat an eye, but because we know who that is, the name takes on a completely different meaning. You're probably ten times more likely to run into a dude in drag named Cinnamon than you are a beautiful stripper named Delicious Danny, or something like that.

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I got home from work around 4am and went to bed. Puppy wakes me up at 7:30 like something is important. Nope, just wants to play outside. I go out and the 2 freaking indoor cats of my roommates sneak out.

I finally get everybody in the house and they are all hyper. I'm gonna shoot something. I'd go back to bed, but I don't wake up easy and have work at 11.

---------- Post added September-12th-2012 at 09:36 AM ----------

I got home from work around 4am and went to bed. Puppy wakes me up at 7:30 like something is important. Nope, just wants to play outside. I go out and the 2 freaking indoor cats of my roommates sneak out.

I finally get everybody in the house and they are all hyper. I'm gonna shoot something. I'd go back to bed, but I don't wake up easy and have work at 11.

I just saw the spider my puppy must have saved me from last night and I take it all back. Palm of my hand large and fuzzy.

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