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stevenaa

By stevenaa
in The Tailgate

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Mr. Sinister

Mr. Sinister

Posted
Posted

I don't see the problem. If the actual father can't be bothered, or simply is not fit to raise the child, then they're the ones that deserve the acknowledgement.

 

Whether the mother can keep a man or not is completely irrelevant next to raising the child, if they can do it and provide a stable household. They didn't sign up for it, but they do the job, and they do it well, and I have no problem with the shoutout.

 

 

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twa

twa

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, pjfootballer said:

This day makes me sad as I always wanted to be a dad, but didn’t. 

 

Fathers day makes me both glad and sad.

Dad's gone and first grandson is is half a country away/

The son is half a country away the other way.....not exactly how I envisioned  it.

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Renegade7

Renegade7

Posted
Posted
34 minutes ago, Mr. Sinister said:

I don't see the problem. If the actual father can't be bothered, or simply is not fit to raise the child, then they're the ones that deserve the acknowledgement.

 

Whether the mother can keep a man or not is completely irrelevant next to raising the child, if they can do it and provide a stable household. They didn't sign up for it, but they do the job, and they do it well, and I have no problem with the shoutout.

 

 

Seen too many both sides of the story to agree with you.  You have unprotected sex, you know exactly what your signing up for, especially if you don't think the guy is dad material or serious danger of getting locked. 

 

There's a large number of men that aren't leaving, they're getting locked uo, and there's really nothing to help them be a part of the kids life without blessing of mother even they get out. Good luck filing for custody rights coming out with a felony and not enough income to take care of yourself and pay child support.  There's an exception to every rule or sterotype, but the mother using the kid against the father out of spite is very real.  You don't deserve an extra holiday if you do that.

 

Something else crazy, I may need to get out more, but I've never met a single father file for child support, not even my own father.  Typical reason is to keep the peace, stats show single fathers only half as likely to have it in plac as single mothers.  Guess who's more likely to not make payments, mother or father?

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Renegade7

Renegade7

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, twa said:

 

Fathers day makes me both glad and sad.

Dad's gone and first grandson is is half a country away/

The son is half a country away the other way.....not exactly how I envisioned  it.

I feel you, man.  My parents were worried I'd leave area since my other siblings did.  If one of them stayed in VA, I wouldve joined military, that's real reason I told air force "no", more then tired of moving or not liking job offered. 

 

My mom's parents separated and left the area, my parents didn't do that, I stand by my decision but don't hold anyone to feeling have to or should do that.  Not doing air force probably tripped time it took to get to this point in my career, no regrets on that one.

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Mr. Sinister

Mr. Sinister

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Renegade7 said:

Seen too many both sides of the story to agree with you.  You have unprotected sex, you know exactly what your signing up for, especially if you don't think the guy is dad material or serious danger of getting locked. 

 

There's a large number of men that aren't leaving, they're getting locked uo, and there's really nothing to help them be a part of the kids life without blessing of mother even they get out. Good luck filing for custody rights coming out with a felony and not enough income to take care of yourself and pay child support.  There's an exception to every rule or sterotype, but the mother using the kid against the father out of spite is very real.  You don't deserve an extra holiday if you do that.

 

Something else crazy, I may need to get out more, but I've never met a single father file for child support, not even my own father.  Typical reason is to keep the peace, stats show single fathers only half as likely to have it in plac as single mothers.  Guess who's more likely to not make payments, mother or father?

 

You're not the only one who's seen something, from several different angles.

 

I'm not talking about the intricate details of every single family issue. Of course not every situation is the same, and there's a million ways in which blame can be assigned.

 

What I am saying, is that the ones who deserve(d) praise (many of whom I know, and have known), meaning the ones, who largely through no fault of their own, found themselves in these situations, deserve the recognition. That is it. 

 

Blaming them for having the child makes little sense If you want to talk about both sides of a story, you're failing there, automatically assuming that in that scenario the woman is always even partly to blame. Often times, they don't know what they've signed up for. "Good" men change all the time, and decide that they want no part of being in a child's life, when that child arrives. I have seen it myself. That isn't on the mother. It's on the coward that chose to run (many times, off with another woman).

 

It's not (or shouldn't be) aimed at  Fathers who are in their children's lives. Only the ones who aren't. If they're locked up, than that's just a tough break (maybe). Someone else has to do that job for them. If it's the mother purposely keeping the child from them for selfish reasons, nope, not that either, and I dont think that's what cooley is talking about.

 

 

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Renegade7

Renegade7

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mr. Sinister said:

 

Blaming them for having the child makes little sense If you want to talk about both sides of a story, you're failing there, automatically assuming that in that scenario the woman is always even partly to blame. Often times, they don't know what they've signed up for. "Good" men change all the time, and decide that they want no part of being in a child's life, when that child arrives. I have seen it myself. That isn't on the mother. It's on the coward that chose to run (many times, off with another woman).

 

It's not (or shouldn't be) aimed at  Fathers who are in their children's lives. Only the ones who aren't. If they're locked up, than that's just a tough break (maybe). Someone else has to do that job for them. If it's the mother purposely keeping the child from them for selfish reasons, nope, not that either, and I dont think that's what cooley is talking about.

 

 

 

The side everyone talks about everyone already knows, we've already seen, there's no leaving out anything.  Blame is too strong a word, especially for women that get blindsided.  This is one of those convos that I'm not a fan of without more women involved, LSF''s is the response I typically get when I ask, so I don't do it anymore.

 

This could be it's own thread, because there's a lot to this topic, especially in 2018, but that's because of many factors that need be looked at again, really ask ourselves if we're going about this the right way.  Kosh's point is a valid one, that can be a thread itself.  As would my views on the child support.

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Chew

Chew

Posted
Posted

Odesza at Red Rocks Saturday night, under the stars.  I have no words, man.  Best live music experience I've ever had.  My ears are still ringing a little bit.  

If everyone on the planet got high and listed to Odesza's message of peace and love, there would be no more war.  :) 
 

 

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Dont Taze Me Bro

Dont Taze Me Bro

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, The Evil Genius said:

I know plenty of solo parents who are better father's/mother's than their ex's. Celebrate them twice...or better yet, all the dang time.

 

 

It does not bother me at all when single parents and their kids celebrate both mothers day and fathers day.  Being a parent, of just one child, even with both the mother and father present/together and a great support system in place is challenging enough.  I can only imagine how difficult being a single parent (mother or father) is, especially for someone on an average or below average income.  

 

When my daughter was little (around age 2-4), my wife got promoted at work and at the time, could not do any work from home.  She was working about 80-90 hours/wk a lot of weeks.  Basically, it was just me and Tazette from 6pm Friday until 7/8pm Sundays, because my wife would have to go back in the office Friday night, would usually work all night and either sleep for a couple of hours at her office or get home around 1am and sleep and get back up around 4-5am and head back to the office Saturday.  Repeat again Sat/Sun, and she would come home for Sunday dinners so she could spend some time with us.

 

I was just a "single parent" over the weekends and it was very hard at times.  Especially when they are at an age where you are still having to change pull-ups, feed them, etc. and basically do everything for them.  Not to mention if you don't have family living near you (ours are an hour and a half away) to give you help/babysit/etc. there is no breaks.  Even simple things like driving down the road to the pub to unwind and have a beer or two.  So, you work all week, M-F, then it's full parent mode Fri-Sun.  And that is nothing compared to what single parents have to go through, cause for them it's M-Sun, work and full-parent mode.  

 

Now one thing I find interesting is, I only ever hear about or read about (friends/fam on Facebook) single moms getting appreciated for both Mothers and Fathers day.  I have yet to see any single fathers celebrate or be celebrated for Mothers Day.  

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