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stevenaa

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That team deserved it, wanted it more.  Ovi set team franchise record in goals in a single postseason, he did what he could.  The fans that have had their hearts ripped out over and over and over again, heart goes out to you.  But damn time... no MO curse.

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On 6/6/2018 at 5:26 PM, skinfan2k said:

has anyone ever done a deployment as a civilian?  my friend is returning this weekend from a war zone, but she asked me to stay with her for the entire weekend because of doctors orders?  Is this fairly normal?  She is single and has no family in the area.  

 

Yeah, a year in Iraq, 4 months in Afghanistan and a couple 1 month shots to Kuwait.  

 

Not typical. She probably went through some bad stuff.  Or she wants the d. 

 

Either way, she will need to talk about it.  I did a combat tour so my time as a civilian was cake.  

 

Our base was attacked a few times and us vets were watching the marines tear them up from on top of a connex. Cheering our boys on. To us vets, it was an awesome spectacle and drive us wild with adrenaline.  To someone who hasn’t been through it personally, it could be utterly terrifying. 

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Anthony Bourdain committed suicide :(  Loved him on No Reservations while with Travel Channel, never missed an episode.  Didn't really follow his show when he jumped to CNN. 

This one bothers me more so than others.  He seemed like such a friendly and humble guy.  RIP. 

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8 minutes ago, DaGoonie55 said:

That sucks.  I’ll never understand suicide.  Permanent solution to a temporary problem.  


I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for friends and family.  Especially if there were no warning sings.  How could you feel SO badly and SO hopeless, that instead of coming to us about whatever is bothering you, that you just end it?  I can't imagine the sorrow one must feel to truly believe there is no answer to their grief other than to kill themselves.  :( 

Depression is a ****.  It's so much more than just "being sad all the time." Your brain is misfiring, there is a chemical imbalance.

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And I think that’s why I have a hard time reconciling the action.  

 

I don’t have those misfirings or imbalances.  

 

But it I know there is a problem.  Just don’t know the solution.  We lost a guy from my unit this past month to suicide.  We were trained the same “last man, last breath - keep fighting”. Punched his own ticket.  

 

Its frustrating and heart wrenching.  I talk with my 11 year old weekly.  About life, bullying, suicide etc.  build him up strong so he can weather the storm.  I hope. 

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By the way, my volleyball league team also won its championship last night. The semifinal was an uneventful rout sweep, but the final was a grind. Won the first set 25-20, lost second set 25-22(horrendous officiating, what else is new), and won the third set 15-13.

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1 hour ago, Chew said:

Anthony Bourdain committed suicide :(  Loved him on No Reservations while with Travel Channel, never missed an episode.  Didn't really follow his show when he jumped to CNN. 

This one bothers me more so than others.  He seemed like such a friendly and humble guy.  RIP. 

I was pretty sure you'd take Kate Spade harder. 

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35 minutes ago, DaGoonie55 said:

And I think that’s why I have a hard time reconciling the action.  

 

I don’t have those misfirings or imbalances.  

 

Well I do, though not anywhere close to the degree to which I used to (and in the case of suicide, I absolutely did).

 

In truth, it's not as simple as being tough vs being weak. Thats an ignorant viewpoint (not saying you specifically said this but many do, and it can potentially be the final nail in many suicide coffins) For a fair amount, unfortunately that is a big part of it, but most of the time, people have serious psychological/emotional issues, that require extensive treatment through therapy/medication to set them on the right track. 

 

But for them, it's not weakness. There's nothing weak about having to combat something destructive rattling around inside your own head, while also facing the chaos of everyday life, and the stigmatized nature of mental health (keeping people from even wanting to talk about it openly) which inevitably  leads down the road to isolation, in which suicide is the next town over. 

 

Drugs and alcohol only make it worse. It gets to a certain point where people just want it to stop. People try to paint it as them being selfish assholes. Some certainly are, but suicide by and large is a mental health issue, and when things reach crisis level, people are usually so hollowed out that in their frame of mind, everyone would be better off if they were dead, because they know they are letting everyone down and don't know what to do, because not only do they not know where to get the right help, they believe, no help exists/they are not worthy of being helped.

 

I was raised religiously military, and so I know that you can do and survive a **** ton in this world by being tougher than the other man/woman. Here though, it's not as much about toughness as it is about knowledge. Knowing how to spot someone who may fall in this category, knowing what to do if you are one of these people, etc.... Letting people know that they are not alone in their fight (because despite what you might think, it isn't always a "temporary problem." Many of these people, including myself,  will be dealing with this their entire lives, unless in more extreme cases they decide one day to end it). That is how lives are saved.

 

But for every "They took the easy way out" asshole, I'd like to take a bet to see how long they'd last in the everyday world with some of these people's conditions. I was diagnosed bipolar, ptsd, and as a child, attention deficit. See how regimented and monitored and restricted everything I do has to be, and say "Meh, **** it" for about 10 days, and come back post withdrawal and tell me how life is treating you :ols:. Totally robs you of your ability to live as a human being. People that deal with that sort of thing on a regular basis are a lot tougher than people think.

 

 

Btw, welcome back buddy :cheers:

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Thanks man.  Glad I have time to be part of the fam again.  

 

I used to to think it was weakness. I’ve learned a lot about conditions that allow suicidal thoughts to flourish.  I’m a youth sports coach and have changed the way I speak, act and mentor in light of this. (We do UCLA drills, not suicides, etc) I want to be there for our kids and help them through their tough times.  It was immature of me to think of it as wekness. But I will concede that I was trained to think like a hammer and everything was a nail when it came to mental “toughness”.   I’m thankful I don’t have these emotions or biological/psychological disorders that lead to suicide.  

 

Ive never had those feelings and it’s difficult for me to empathize with those that do. I’m trying to be more supportive and understanding.  

 

Hard drug use is another topic altogether for me.  I can’t wrap my head around it.  My brother in law made 120k+ a year, great wife, family and somehow threw it all away over heroin. Does.  Not.  Compute.  He was the guy I looked at like “when I get out of the army- that’s who I wanna be like.”   Now he mooches off the family like a leech.  Disgusting and I have zero sympathy for him.  You made a decision to shoot up, now deal with it.  I may be wrong, but it’s one thing I’m pretty hard set against.  

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1 hour ago, The Evil Genius said:

If for no other reason than the Caps won last night (or your* not trying to be a douche all the time), find someone you care about today and tell them you love them.

 

The world is too depressing now to go through it alone.

 

*you’re

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17 minutes ago, DaGoonie55 said:

Hard drug use is another topic altogether for me.  I can’t wrap my head around it.  My brother in law made 120k+ a year, great wife, family and somehow threw it all away over heroin. Does.  Not.  Compute.  He was the guy I looked at like “when I get out of the army- that’s who I wanna be like.”   Now he mooches off the family like a leech.  Disgusting and I have zero sympathy for him.  You made a decision to shoot up, now deal with it.  I may be wrong, but it’s one thing I’m pretty hard set against.  

 

That's your perogative. Thats a difficult topic since it touches so many families nowadays.

 

You're certainly not wrong to be disgusted in his choice to start it. You have a responsibility to your family to not **** around, and put your best foot forward. You can't do that getting high or drinking yourself into oblivion. I can't say too much because I dabbled in coke and x and drank heavy stuff for awhile and did some crazy ****, but it never reached the point where it dabbled in me, know what I mean?

 

That's why I always try to tell my younger cousins the best thing is to not start. Weed, coke, cigs, whater else it is kids these days do, everything. For some people, they'll be fine. For others, it's just a key to door number 2,3,4,5.....

 

That's why as much as I've thought about it, I've never decided to gamble. I am the type to never give up easily, and people like that are the most susceptible. That, and I am good with numbers and predicting trends. All the more reason why I need to stay away.

 

Me correctly guessing almost every smart money  NFL playoff game outcome this past winter (and not acting  on it beforehand) sealed that realization for me. That, and my stepfather gambled, and that alone right there is enough for me to never want to see a blackjack table.

 

Once the hooks are in, it's out of their control, and at that point, the choice is everyone else's, unfairly as it may seem. Sometimes it's hard to say no, and figuratuvely (sometimes literally) drag someone to get help.

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I’m glad you didn’t get too far in over your head.  I think you’re a pretty cool dude and I’m sorry you went through that.  

 

Weed to me is like alcohol.  My view on it has changed since I realized the seemingly endless medicinal purposes it has.  And my skepticism about it being listed as equally bad or worse than heroin or meth.  Which seems ridiculous to me.  I’ve never tried it, most likely never will - but I dont look down upon those who do.  I have a lot of buddies that smoke to deal with ptsd, TBI and a best buddy’s wife who used it through chemo and radiation.  It helped her.  

 

My issue with meth and heroin is that EVERYONE knows the bad beforehand.  It’s beat into us as children and is everywhere across all media.  Still people choose to put that poison in themselves.  If I get lung cancer from smoking for 20 years, I won’t be crying for sympathy. I won’t grandstand about my “disease”. I don’t have a disease, I made a choice.  I did it to myself.  Yes, it’s hard to quit. Yes there are days I want to quit.  No, I don’t have the willpower now.  Maybe one day I’ll be an adult and put them down.  But my family doesn’t suffer, I won’t go on a nicotine induced rage and eat someone’s face or drive impaired and kill a family of 5 or fall asleep and roast my infant to death in the backseat. 

 

Either way, it’s good to be back.  Lol. Please don’t hate me or my backwater hillbilly views.  

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