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A feeling I've not often had................fear


Pete

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Ya know folks, I've faught fires, raced motorcycles and cars, have been blown up, set on fire, been in high speed wrecks, gone into parts of NYC that nobody in their right mind would go after dark, and yet I have never known the type of fear that has been slowly creeping into my life.

My daughter turns 13 tomorrow, and I'm scared to death with the thought of her starting to date boys. :laugh:

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Pete, as a father of three girls (and one son), I feel your pain. Maybe the following will assist you.

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless

accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,

and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No

If No, explain:

______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No

pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION

AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers

are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO

THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,

NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE

WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_________________________________________________________

Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________

Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________

Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and

non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do

not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would

cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be

notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

(you might watch your back)

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Not what I call real dating, but going to the movies with a boy, and school dances.

She tells me that many girls in her classes have boyfriends, and I know of at leas 4 of her teammates that go out with boys at this point.

Shotgun clean and shiney............crushing hand shake...........nasty sneer

I think I'm set :laugh:

Edit............I had my first girlfriend at 13

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Having a boyfriend at 13 is one thing.

Dating at that age is something else. At that age........maybe group dates....but that is very young to have to make some of the decisions that can occur when 1-on-1.

I am saying this as an educator who was a high school counselor for a long time before an administrator. I heard all the stories........from the kids.

(1-0n-1. You know what I mean. Don't go there.)

Blondie

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Having a boyfriend at 13 is one thing.

Dating at that age is something else. At that age........maybe group dates....but that is very young to have to make some of the decisions that can occur when 1-on-1.

I am saying this as an educator who was a high school counselor for a long time before an administrator. I heard all the stories........from the kids.

(1-0n-1. You know what I mean. Don't go there.)

Blondie

Your on the same page as me Blondie. I will not allow any one on one yet, and the movie thing is going to be three couples................. The school dances are well supervised, so I'm fine with them.

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Pete...been there and done that. I've found it's much easier to raise boys. At least with them you can tell them to shut up or you'll smack them silly, which they listen and fear dad.

I feel sure you and you're wife and have done a great job raising your daughter. Now you can only hope some of what you've taught stuck. She'll be fine.

My concern is will you? Have a beer or favorite beverage on me bro. You've taught your values and you've done all you can do. Job well done!

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In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

__________________________________________________ ____________

Aunt Flo's arrival has been delayed due to unforseen circumstances.

The monthly migration of the Red Bird has not yet occurred.

In either circumstance if I see you then I need to wear body armor. ;)

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I feel sure you and you're wife and have done a great job raising your daughter. Now you can only hope some of what you've taught stuck. She'll be fine.

This was going to be my response as well. I don't have any daughters but my sister does and she is now 14. They are having a heck of a time keeping up with her "boyfriends" right now. They "go out" for a week then breakup and the cycle continues. Just remember the values that you instilled in your daughter and trust in her and be there to talk to. And if any boy steps out of line beat their father up.

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Pete - happy b-day to your daughter and all, but what i want to know is how/when/why were you 'blown up'?

I goes back to when I was young and dumb :laugh: Our fire dept had a steam cleaner that the two companies shared. The morons in the other company put diesel fuel in it and sent it over to our firehouse. Problem is, it ran on keroseen................. We has a three hour time frame to clean the undercarrage of two of the rigs, so I could paint them that afternoon.

I didn't have time to clean out the fuel system, so we came up with a great plan. The captian of the company did the actual cleaning, while I squated in front of the steam cleaner with a can of spray ether, giving bursts into the air intake. That made it run hot enough to make steam.

I guess about ten minutes into it, there were enough fumes in the air and she flashed back at me. :doh: Didn't know what hit me. When I realized what happened, I was flat on my back about 4 feet away from the steam cleaner feeling sun burnt. Me being me (no fear,more balls then brains at times) I shook it off, picked up the now hot can of ether, and started all over again.

You can only guess what happened......................... I was luckey the can was just about empty, because it must have been weakened by the first blast. This time, my hand was cut up (can reptured), and the hair on my head was burned off about half way back, along with my eye brows and lashes. Not much left of my beard either. Again, it threw me back a few feet, and I had a nice gash on the back of my head from slamming the floor.

Once I knew where I was, I got myself a shot and a beer, whent back to the steam cleaner, and fixed it properly......................... I took about 3 weeks before I looked normal again. If the can of ether was full, I would have surely lost my hand, if not my life.

I'm older now ;) :laugh: :laugh:

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