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Favorite quotes from "The 40 Year Old Virgin"


gube79

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I know I'm late but what the hell? I just bought "40 Yr Old Virgin" with a gift card I received for Xmas and surprisingly, it cracked me up. I think I laughed so much because nobody was all in my face telling me to go see it, so I wasn't expecting greatness.

I think all the characters meshed well and were equally funny in their own way. I think "Jay" was the funniest (the black dude).

Anyways, if any of you have seen it, post some of your favorite quotes. Here are a couple of mine...

Jay: You're puttin' the p@$$y on a pedestal

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Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.

David: You know how I know that you're gay?

Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.

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Mooj: Everybody's d#$k look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV.

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my two favorites:

David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says "I like it when balls are in my face."

"Turban now? Do you see

any ******* turban here?

Do I talk like a turban guy?

Do I say, "Hey, Jay,

do you want a Slurpee?

You want a Slurpee?"

**** you, okay?

I was born in Brooklyn. "

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I thought I would die when I saw this movie - the whole scene where he gets waxed I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard.

Anyway my fav quotes, from the scene where Andy tells Cal his GF is a grandma:

Cal: She's a grandma? Man. I wish my grandma looked like that. My grandma looks like Jack Palance. If Jack Palance looked like her I'd wanna **** Jack Palance.

Cal: [talking about Trish(Andy's GF) being a grandma] You should **** her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday.

Cal: [regarding Andy's girlfriend as a grandmother] You can **** her while watching "Murder, She Wrote". She'll like that.

I thought this was real funny too, when Jay is telling Andy it's cool to be gay:

Jay: Dude, it's not a big deal that you like to **** guys. I'm cool, I got friends who **** guys... in jail.

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my two favorites:

David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says "I like it when balls are in my face."

"Turban now? Do you see

any ******* turban here?

Do I talk like a turban guy?

Do I say, "Hey, Jay,

do you want a Slurpee?

You want a Slurpee?"

**** you, okay?

I was born in Brooklyn. "

The "Turban Guy" is hilarious, also:

[Turban Guy] "Go **** a goat"

[Jay] "Why you always telling me to go **** a goat man"

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The "Turban Guy" is hilarious, also:

[Turban Guy] "Go **** a goat"

[Jay] "Why you always telling me to go **** a goat man"

:laugh:

"You're messing with the wrong sand *****!"

"Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole?"

"How come we never get invited to parties? What are we, ****ing Al Qaeda?"

And my favorite:

"Mooj: Life is about people. It's about connections.

Andy: It's all about connections.

Mooj: It's not about *****, and ass, and tits.

Andy: Yeah.

Mooj: And butthole pleasures.

Andy: It's not about butthole pleasures at all.

Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.

Andy: Please stop.

Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these ***** juice ****tail, and these **** stained balls.

Andy: Mooj, just please stop."

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:laugh:

"You're messing with the wrong sand *****!"

"Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole?"

"How come we never get invited to parties? What are we, ****ing Al Qaeda?"

And my favorite:

"Mooj: Life is about people. It's about connections.

Andy: It's all about connections.

Mooj: It's not about *****, and ass, and tits.

Andy: Yeah.

Mooj: And butthole pleasures.

Andy: It's not about butthole pleasures at all.

Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.

Andy: Please stop.

Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these ***** juice ****tail, and these **** stained balls.

Andy: Mooj, just please stop."

LMAO - I am in tears

I'm gonna go watch this movie again tonight

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"Today's forecast........dark and cloudy with chance of drive-bye"

"I love your sweater. Does it come in a V-neck?"

"That billboard had two sides, and both of them hurt equally."

"She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls."

David: Hey, Paula.

Paula: Yeah?

David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time, today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I - I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD - that you've been playing for two years straight - off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain!

Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?

David: I don't care. Anything! I would rather - I would rather watch "Beautician And The Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothin' against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to Yah Mo Burn This Place To The Ground.

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David: Hey, Paula.

Paula: Yeah?

David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time, today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I - I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD - that you've been playing for two years straight - off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain!

Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?

David: I don't care. Anything! I would rather - I would rather watch "Beautician And The Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothin' against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to Yah Mo Burn This Place To The Ground.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

"You look like a man-o-lantern."

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"She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls."

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Cal: We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And... it's a woman f***in' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and... it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.

Andy: Yeah.

Cal: You think "A woman f***in' a horse" and you get there and... it's a woman f***ing a horse.

Andy: Yeah.

Cal: It was really giving it to her. And you know what? To be honest I just felt bad for her, we all just felt bad for her.

Andy: Yeah.

Cal: I kinda felt bad for the horse!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I just watched this last night, and I haven't laughed like that since "There's Something About Mary."

There were so many funny characters!

Jay

That blonde manager at the store, especially when she started talking about " F*** Buddy".

One of my favorite parts was the drunk bia part, when she was driving!

I know I had to miss about 50% of that dialog from laughing so hard!

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I just watched this last night, and I haven't laughed like that since "There's Something About Mary."

There were so many funny characters!

Jay

That blonde manager at the store, especially when she started talking about " F*** Buddy".

One of my favorite parts was the drunk bia part, when she was driving!

I know I had to miss about 50% of that dialog from laughing so hard!

Driving around with that drunk trick was HILARIOUS. I was almost crying which is saying alot for me.

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