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The real reason Champ didn't play well last night.


Art

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I wanted to say it before the theory is offered elsewhere. As you know, I'm prone to making quick judgements that put me out in front of an issue and after careful analysis with my Tivo, I now know why Champ played so poorly last night.

Helton is the reason.

Here's what was evident. While Helton's mad spell prevented Spurrier from calling more running plays, it was clearly seen that Helton was often standing on the sideline in proximity to Champ during the time the defense was off the field.

It was hard to say if they spoke and Helton simply offered poor technique advice, which he would since he was fired from Houston as a coach. But, every time Champ would run past Helton onto the field, he seemed to "slow". It's clear to me that Helton is not really a white male football coach but really a black women, voodoo princess from Haiti and I saw a small No. 24 doll in his pocket at one point in the game. You can only see this in slow motion with the Tivo. It seems Helton is not accustomed to the technology in our hands now to catch him, er her, at her diabolical plans.

It's the aura around him, so negative, that any player who comes into contact is immediately rendered Arena quality. So, let me say again, not only is Helton a complete and total failure, who has not offered a contract to Ray Brown, or let Spurrier call more running plays, but he also has caused the corners to fall under his spell of ineptitude, and we now must not only replace her, but we must burn her at the stake and cleanse the team from her pervading spirit.

Please, try to keep your responses on point and not personalize this legitimate view.

{This note written because it's been six hours without an ASF message about Helton and we are kind of on a schedule here}

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The Helton effect has the opposite impact on the opposition. While Bailey appeared to slow, it was clear, Plaxico seemed to actually speed up. I checked the TIVO because I thought I hit the forward button one tick, but I didn't. When I rewound I saw Helton smiling, and, in one frame, like with a record played in reverse when you can hear him, I actually saw Satan.

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Originally posted by Art

I wanted to say it before the theory is offered elsewhere. As you know, I'm prone to making quick judgements that put me out in front of an issue and after careful analysis with my Tivo, I now know why Champ played so poorly last night.

Helton is the reason.

Here's what was evident. While Helton's mad spell prevented Spurrier from calling more running plays, it was clearly seen that Helton was often standing on the sideline in proximity to Champ during the time the defense was off the field.

It was hard to say if they spoke and Helton simply offered poor technique advice, which he would since he was fired from Houston as a coach. But, every time Champ would run past Helton onto the field, he seemed to "slow". It's clear to me that Helton is not really a white male football coach but really a black women, voodoo princess from Haiti and I saw a small No. 24 doll in his pocket at one point in the game. You can only see this in slow motion with the Tivo. It seems Helton is not accustomed to the technology in our hands now to catch him, er her, at her diabolical plans.

It's the aura around him, so negative, that any player who comes into contact is immediately rendered Arena quality. So, let me say again, not only is Helton a complete and total failure, who has not offered a contract to Ray Brown, or let Spurrier call more running plays, but he also has caused the corners to fall under his spell of ineptitude, and we now must not only replace her, but we must burn her at the stake and cleanse the team from her pervading spirit.

Please, try to keep your responses on point and not personalize this legitimate view.

{This note written because it's been six hours without an ASF message about Helton and we are kind of on a schedule here}

F'in hilarious Art! I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Originally posted by Art

I wanted to say it before the theory is offered elsewhere. As you know, I'm prone to making quick judgements that put me out in front of an issue and after careful analysis with my Tivo, I now know why Champ played so poorly last night.

Helton is the reason.

Here's what was evident. While Helton's mad spell prevented Spurrier from calling more running plays, it was clearly seen that Helton was often standing on the sideline in proximity to Champ during the time the defense was off the field.

It was hard to say if they spoke and Helton simply offered poor technique advice, which he would since he was fired from Houston as a coach. But, every time Champ would run past Helton onto the field, he seemed to "slow". It's clear to me that Helton is not really a white male football coach but really a black women, voodoo princess from Haiti and I saw a small No. 24 doll in his pocket at one point in the game. You can only see this in slow motion with the Tivo. It seems Helton is not accustomed to the technology in our hands now to catch him, er her, at her diabolical plans.

It's the aura around him, so negative, that any player who comes into contact is immediately rendered Arena quality. So, let me say again, not only is Helton a complete and total failure, who has not offered a contract to Ray Brown, or let Spurrier call more running plays, but he also has caused the corners to fall under his spell of ineptitude, and we now must not only replace her, but we must burn her at the stake and cleanse the team from her pervading spirit.

Please, try to keep your responses on point and not personalize this legitimate view.

{This note written because it's been six hours without an ASF message about Helton and we are kind of on a schedule here}

F'in hilarious Art! I haven't laughed that hard in quite a while. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Originally posted by Mad Mike

Qcard

I would much rather discuss how the kitty cats took your boys to school.:rotflmao:

Do you really want to go there?

Our 1st team defense sucked (missed many tackles, whilst in a position to make plays)

Our offense struggled due to the O-line missing 4 starters, especially against the Panthers starting defense.

Nuff said!!

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