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Top Five Changes to Six Flags by Dan Snyder


Dan T.

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5. Splashy free agent signings include an over-the-hill Mickey Mouse from Disney.

4. Ticket prices stay the same. But parking now costs 55 dollars.

3. New ride: "Superman's Obstructed View Escalators."

2. All trees between Six Flags Largo and Fed Ex Field cut down to improve the view.

And the Number One Change by Dan Snyder to Six Flags,

1. Dancing Bald Guy in TV ads replaced by Dancing Vinnie Cerrato.

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In an attempt to enforce the "You must be this tall to ride on this ride" rule, Dan Snyder uses Warrick Holdman to grab the child and return the child to his/her parents. Lavar Arrington was considered but his free lancing style was considered inadequate for this task.

Unfortunately, Warrick was usually not fast or strong enough to contain these small children and they would ride the rides anyway.

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In an attempt to enforce the "You must be this tall to ride on this ride" rule, Dan Snyder uses Warrick Holdman to grab the child and return the child to his/her parents. Lavar Arrington was considered but his free lancing style was considered inadequate for this task.

Unfortunately, Warrick was usually not fast or strong enough to contain these small children and they would ride the rides anyway.

Incidentally, the "You must be this tall to ride on this ride" rule is enforced at each ride with a life-size cutout of Dan Snyder.

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In an attempt to enforce the "You must be this tall to ride on this ride" rule, Dan Snyder uses Warrick Holdman to grab the child and return the child to his/her parents. Lavar Arrington was considered but his free lancing style was considered inadequate for this task.

Unfortunately, Warrick was usually not fast or strong enough to contain these small children and they would ride the rides anyway.

And in a related story.....in an attempt to circumvent the "You must be this tall to ride on this ride" rule owner Dan Snyder climbs atop Lavar Arrington's shoulders

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New Dallas Cowboys House Of Horror to be added.

Features include:

-Michael Irvin's endlessly ranting voice can be heard thoughout the entire house.

-Barry Switzer popping out at you near the end, and threatening you with a gun (actually it's the real Barry Switzer, he needed the money).

-The Locker Room of Doom, in which the name becomes instantly apparent when you enter the room and realize that the yellow stuff on the floor isn't lemonade.

-Countless horrifying images of Jerry Jones' face laughing at you, as you travel through the house.

-The Dave Campo Backwards Tunnel, in which you plunge straight down, backwards towards impending doom.

(And of course the ride wouldn't be the same without)

-A Bill Parcells look-a-like screaming at you and shoving you out of the car at the end of the ride.

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New Dallas Cowboys House Of Horror to be added.

Features include:

-Michael Irvin's endlessly ranting voice can be heard thoughout the entire house.

-Barry Switzer popping out at you near the end, and threatening you with a gun (actually it's the real Barry Switzer, he needed the money).

-The Locker Room of Doom, in which the name becomes instantly apparent when you enter the room and realize that the yellow stuff on the floor isn't lemonade.

-Countless horrifying images of Jerry Jones' face laughing at you, as you travel through the house.

-The Dave Campo Backwards Tunnel, in which you plunge straight down, backwards towards impending doom.

(And of course the ride wouldn't be the same without)

-A Bill Parcells look-a-like screaming at you and shoving you out of the car at the end of the ride.

:laugh:

Or the nostalgic Philadelphia Eagles' "Visit the Vet" ride. You enter dressed like an Indian Chief, then drunken carneys beat you to a bloody pulp.

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As of now, season ticket prices are staying the same, along with the parking price increasing as stated earlier, he has now cut the number of season passes given out to 1,000 (900 of which are reserved for corporations) and the waiting list for a season pass is now up to 50,000 people. On the bright side, if you pay an initiation fee and $2,500 you can get a season pass. Plus you also get your own personal indoor fireworks show and your own personal assistant who will wait in line for you and go get you food from the concession stands.

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With the "ALL NEW HURRY UP AND WAIT HOPPER PASS" you can get the best of both worlds!! On Sundays only you can start your day of fun by waiting for 2 hours to get on the thrill ride "Superman-Wheels of Steel" and end it by waiting for 3 more hours to get out of the FedEX Field parking lots.....limited quantities available ($1299 annual membership required)

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