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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the

Director what the criterion was which defined whether or

not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we

offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and

ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person

would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or

the teacup."

"Actually," said the Director, "A normal person would just

pull the plug."

"So tell me, do you want a room an East view or a West view?"

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A motorist got a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up, he tripped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.

A patient looking through the fence suggested that the man take one bolt from the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.

The motorist, thanking him profusely, said, "Hey, that was a great idea! Why are you in this place anyway?"

The patient said, "I'm here for being crazy, not for being stupid."

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