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?Gibbs:``I said, `Look, you can help this football team. You can rush the punter.' ''


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True?

Would Gibbs say it? Scroll Down

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/12872014.htm

Character-driven

A LITTLE LOSING GOES A LONG WAY

By John Ryan

Mercury News

Welcome the losses. Invite them. Every one is but another yellow brick on Mike Nolan's Road To Greatness.

Yep, Buzz is feeling a little bit Niners and a little bit Pearl Jam today. ``We're Faithful! We all believe, we all believe.''

But what does all this losing do to the legend in the making? It's making the coach more of a legend, if you can believe it. And if you're Faithful.

Hey, Tom Hanks made plenty of movies like ``The Burbs'' before he hit the Philadelphia/Forrest Gump exacta. J. Lo kissed plenty of frogs before finding Marc Anthony. And so it is with NFL coaches.

Nolan tasted the sweet side of .500 in the first week, but he isn't likely to see it again for a loooooong time. Interesting fact, though: Buzz looked up five coaches who took on similarly lost causes. Their combined first-year record: 7-65-2. They didn't see .500 for years. None is among the NFL's top 10 in winning percentage.

Oh, and they won a combined 13 Super Bowls.

Tom Landry: That 0-11-1 season of 1960 weighed him down for a decade. He didn't get over .500 until his 134th game, in his 10th season.

Bill Walsh: Went 2-14 in 1979. In 1984, he finally got past the 50-yard line -- in the 11th game of the 49ers' second Super Bowl season.

Bill Parcells: A 2-2 start disintegrated into a 3-12-1 season in 1983. But he rallied (relatively) quickly.

Jimmy Johnson: Lost his first eight games with the Cowboys. When they won the Super Bowl after the 1992 season, his regular-season record stood at 32-32.

Encouraging. But, you say, Nolan has already been a winner. Aha! We've found our spiritual guidance.

Chuck Noll: Won his debut with the Steelers in 1969, then hit a bit of a slide -- a 13-game losing streak. He sent a strong message along the way by shipping a popular linebacker to Jacksonville -- and it didn't even have a team yet!

Kidding. But honestly, would a 13-game losing streak from Nolan's crew be all that surprising? Noll's next two seasons were losers, too. He didn't get the ledger even until the seventh game of the 1974 season. Need we remind you that season ended with a Super Bowl?

Interesting numbers. Let's put them into the computer -- at $1,200, the most valuable asset left over from the Terry Donahue Era -- and chart the progress:

Nolan wins the Super Bowl after the 2009 season, beating the Los Angeles Vikings. He reaches .500 for his career Sept. 26, 2010. It's a Sunday night on UPN against the Mexico City Saints, amid much hoopla as the NFL's first game in Singapore.

The hurry-up offense:

COOLEST MOTIVATIONAL TACTIC OF THE YEAR: Bill Belichick showed the Patriots all eight minutes of the classic Marvin Hagler-Thomas Hearns slugfest. ``I thought Dan was going to start fighting right then,'' Christian Fauria said of fellow tight end Daniel Graham, who instead had the best game of his four-year career.

ON 49ERS' NETFLIX LIST FOR BYE WEEK: ``Mr. Smith Goes To Washington.'' And maybe ``Falling Down.''

WORST MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH OF ALL TIME: Redskins Coach Joe Gibbs, recounting last week's finger-pointing exchange with demoted linebacker LaVar Arrington: ``I said, `Look, you can help this football team. You can rush the punter.' '' Utter shock that Arrington wasn't properly inspired and didn't play Sunday.

BIZARRE QUOTE OF THE WEEK: Bengals receiver Chad Johnson: ``Last night, I felt like I wished I wasn't Chad Johnson. Last night, I felt like I wished I wasn't good. I had to keep from crying on the sideline because I wished I wasn't that good because I wouldn't be getting the attention I'm getting. I just want to catch the ball, that's it.''

CHAD JOHNSON'S NIGHT: Five catches, including one for a touchdown, and a scene on the sidelines.

NOTE THAT WILL SHOCK NOBODY: Chad Johnson and Keyshawn Johnson: cousins.

SMOKE SIGNALS OF THE WEEK: The Atlanta Falcons, who had quarterback Michael Vick as ``probable'' -- which really means ``definite'' in the NFL world -- until late in the week, then downgraded him to ``questionable,'' then didn't play him. Teams have been fined for less chicanery.

SMOKE SIGNALS OF THE COMING WEEK: The Miami Dolphins welcome back Ricky Williams, who has made a peace offering but hasn't offered a peace pipe.

PAGING BILL CALLAHAN: There's a new dumbest team in America. The Ravens committed 21 penalties, had two players ejected for run-ins with officials and quit on Shawn Bryson's 77-yard touchdown run. You'd expect this bunch to play with more, ahem, conviction.

ADVICE TO ALEX SMITH: It worked for Buzz Jr. learning to ride a bike: ``The more you fall, the better you get.''

OBLIGATORY T.O. REFERENCE OF THE WEEK: After the 33-10 loss in Dallas, he boarded the team bus wearing a Michael Irvin jersey.

BACKUP QUARTERBACK OF THE WEEK: Matt Schaub, Atlanta, who's the most anonymous untradeable guy in the league.

FINALLY, SINCE NO NFL COLUMN IS COMPLETE WITHOUT FANTASY FOOTBALL: That Ravens defense, three turnovers and seven sacks in four games.

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And now channel 5 is saying "Lavar is benched, and you won't believe what he's saying now... tonight at ten."

Course, knowing channel five news, Lavar may have said "I like gummi bears".

And what is the deal with that weather woman Sue Palka? Man she is a scary looking woman.

~Bang

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