fuji869 Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 THE REAL RULES!!!! We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! And please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . . . again! 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. 1. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!! 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!! 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.) 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins24 Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 LOL!! #1 was hillarious #1 was also funny but #1 would get you in trouble not as much as #1 though great stuff fuji, have fun on the couch! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 As much as I hate to say it, I am laughing and laughing here. These are great!!! Ok, here is my answer to those rules... http://www.funtown.com/The_Marriage_Fairy_Haha.swf GOTCHA :laugh: :laugh: Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuji869 Posted August 2, 2002 Author Share Posted August 2, 2002 Originally posted by TXfbluvr As much as I hate to say it, I am laughing and laughing here. These are great!!! Ok, here is my answer to those rules... http://www.funtown.com/The_Marriage_Fairy_Haha.swf GOTCHA :laugh: :laugh: Blondie Very Good Blondie! I am sending it on to some friends!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romo Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 Very nice list Fuji. Did you make this yourself? If so you should write a book, well not a book because men dont read books. Just a nice short pamphlet. Hope you dont mind but im gonna send this off to a bunch of friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinsfan44 Posted August 2, 2002 Share Posted August 2, 2002 Great stuff, fuji869. I just e-mailed it to my wife. I guess I will be sleeping on the couch too, tonight. Yepie, I love camping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fuji869 Posted August 2, 2002 Author Share Posted August 2, 2002 Glad you like them guys. :thumbsup: I wish I was that creative that I could make stuff up like that! I get a lot of Email Jokes and the real good ones I share with you guys in the Tailgate. So feel free to copy them and send them on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoosierskin Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 Thanks Fuji, It is always important to have a good sense of humor, especially in relationships! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indyskinsfan Posted August 3, 2002 Share Posted August 3, 2002 Man that was a riot!!!!! :laugh: :cool: I needed that one to start my Saturday! If it itches it will be scratched :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mardi gras skin Posted August 4, 2002 Share Posted August 4, 2002 Blonie. It was cute and all but, just like a woman, the noise won't go away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 I'm not sure mardi, but just in case......RUN! :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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