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Detroit FP: MICHAEL ROSENBERG: Lions win the Super Bowl!


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MICHAEL ROSENBERG: Lions win the Super Bowl!

The fantasy: They save Detroit, and you'll never guess who's MVP

September 8, 2005

BY MICHAEL ROSENBERG rosenberg.jpg

FREE PRESS COLUMNIST

DETROIT, Feb. 5, 2006 -- And in the 49th year since their last championship, in the stadium they call home, they finally did it. The Detroit Lions. Won the Super Bowl.

And the crowd roared, and the Lions piled on top of each other at midfield, like little kids on the playground.

And then co-mayors Hendrix and Kilpatrick (and what a strange story that is) jumped on the pile. And then they rolled out the Super Bowl MVP's take-home prize: a high-powered, fully equipped 12-speed bicycle.

Hey, gas just hit $5 a gallon. Everybody rides a bike these days.

And then the unlikely Super Bowl MVP ... wait. Let's slow down. So much has happened. As in the story of creation -- another impressive, though less historic miracle -- we should start with How We Got Here. It began where it ended, at Ford Field. ...

* * *

The boos seemed to get quieter in the second half of the opener, but maybe that's because the fans all had laryngitis. The Packers led, 28-3, at halftime. Final score: 35-3.

On the plus side, Joey Harrington hit receivers all over the place -- in the ankle, the thigh, the back of the helmet, the shoelaces. He threw for eight yards. Eight.

But in Game 2, at Chicago, Joey got better. Nine yards. Another loss. 0-2.

This brought the off-week and the formation of the Dan Orlovsky Fan Club. The phone lines at 1-800-DAN-PLEASE burned up, causing a fire in downtown Detroit. Nobody was injured, but 142 hotel rooms went up in smoke.

No worries, officials said. There will be plenty of hotel space for the Super Bowl.

Orlovsky got the call in Games 3 and 4, and he did OK. But the Lions still lost. Game 5. Carolina. Another defeat. They were 0-5, tied with the San Francisco "0-and-49ers" for the league's worst record.

With the team crumbling yet again, there was only one natural move for the Lions.

Two more years for Matt Millen. That gave him seven more on his contract. The move did give the local economy a temporary boost; Northwest Airlines, on the verge of bankruptcy, sold a record number of one-way tickets out of Detroit.

Game 6. At Cleveland. Browns rookie Braylon Edwards scored three touchdowns, giving him as many as Charles Rogers, Roy Williams and Mike Williams combined -- for the season. The Lions were 0-6, but Steve Mariucci reported that the guys were "really working." What a relief.

Game 7. Chicago at home. Faced with a lawsuit from the city of Honolulu over their "insulting" Honolulu blue jerseys, the Lions broke out their black jerseys, then deftly removed their names from them. A wise move. 0-7.

Game 8. At division-leading Minnesota. CNN cuts in with BREAKING NEWS: The Lions lead, 17-10, late in the fourth quarter. Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper leads his team down to the Lions' 7-yard line, then looks to the sideline for the last playcall, but Minnesota coach Mike Tice is out in the street, screaming, "Who needs two on the 50?" Lions win. 1-7.

Late that night, sources indicate, team owner William Clay Ford went down to his basement, removed the Matt Millen photograph from over the fireplace and hugged it.

Then came Arizona at home and Dallas on the road. Win, win. Orlovsky was locking in on one receiver, but no worries -- that receiver was Charles Rogers, who suddenly emerged as the best deep threat in the NFL.

Thanksgiving. Lions 35, Mike Vick and the Fellas 10.

Day after Thanksgiving. The Dan Orlovsky for President Exploratory PAC was formed. First-day donations exceeded $2 million. No checks from Joey, though.

And then things got bizarre. The Knicks came to town to play the Pistons, and Larry Brown said he "felt kinda neat" to see his "old hometown's team" winning. Then the Lions beat Minnesota and moved to 5-7... but Rogers suffered a broken collarbone yet again. He was gone for the year (or so it appeared).

And then the Lions won in Green Bay for the first time since Brett Favre started misspelling his name.

On one hand, the Lions had won six in a row. On the other, they were still below .500. Confused fans called sports-radio stations and argued with themselves.

And then came a victory over Cincinnati. And another over New Orleans. The Lions were 8-7! After that 0-7 start, it felt like 50-0. Orlovsky stubbed his toe in the New Orleans game, but no worries -- fans took shifts carrying him around town.

Like Dan Rather, Detroit had gone insane. As people rode to work, they hung huge flags from their bikes. The city of Honolulu dropped its lawsuit. The Honolulu blue and silver were back!

All the Lions had to do was beat Pittsburgh, which was ravaged by injuries and just 5-10 for the year. Win No. 9 in a row and you're in ...

On the first play from scrimmage, Orlovsky's pass was batted back in his face; it hit him in the eye, blurring his vision.

Harrington stepped in, played OK ... but, typical Lions, they lost. Now they needed help to get in.

And they got it, thank goodness, on the fourth tiebreaker. We won't explain exactly what happened, since we still don't understand it -- something about point differential divided by opponents' opponents' winning percentage plus viscosity and thermal breakdown. Anyway, the Lions clinched a playoff spot on a meaningless fourth-quarter touchdown pass by Dallas Cowboys third-stringer Drew Henson.

As for Orlovsky's injury? Temporary, the doctors said. He'll be fine in a month.

And so, in their first day in office together, co-mayors Hendrix and Kilpatrick announced a new city motto:

"A *&@#%ING MONTH?!"

The Super Bowl was 34 days away. The Lions turned back to Harrington, who said he "hadn't noticed" that most of Detroit had grown to hate him.

Then the Lions beat St. Louis in the first round of the playoffs. And then they beat Philadelphia on a game-winning catch from Charles Rogers, a week after his groundbreaking collarbone-replacement surgery.

One more victory, and the Lions would be the first team to play the Super Bowl at their own stadium. ...

But wait.

The NFL announced it was "concerned" about a potential hotel shortage. There was talk of moving the game to New Orleans, where the Superdome had been fixed in record time, and that city's comeback inspired the nation.

Nonsense, Hendrix and Kilpatrick said in a joint statement. They pointed out that there were plenty of hotel rooms in the Greater Detroit/Oakland County/Ann Arbor/Traverse City area.

Suddenly, the Lions were playing for more than their first Super Bowl berth. If they beat Carolina in the NFC championship game, the city could keep the country's biggest sporting event -- and with the hometown team taking one of the spots, the NFL wouldn't need so many hotel rooms.

If the Lions lost? Good-bye, big game.

By the time Jason Hanson lined up for a 58-yard field goal in the third overtime, Detroit could barely watch. The kick was up ... and off the right upright ... and off the left upright ... and in. The rarely seen game-winning field goal/7-10 split.

The Lions were in the Super Bowl. The Lions ... were ... in ... the ... Super Bowl. Everything turned up roses, quite literally -- the thermometer hit a record high of 67 in Detroit that day.

The town couldn't wait to show off for the world. Magic filled the air. What could go wrong?

The first foot of snow hit on the Monday before the Super Bowl. Ha, ha.

Then came the second foot.

Ah, but Michiganders love the great outdoors. And the night before the Super Bowl, thousands grabbed their snowshoes and cross-country skis and found their way to the nearest watering hole, where they watched the Pistons face Ron Artest for the first time since The Brawl.

Of course, Pistons-Pacers was just a backdrop. All anybody wanted to know was this:

Who would start at quarterback?

Harrington had won three straight playoff games. Yet Orlovsky, the regular-season star, was perfectly healthy and cleared to play.

Lions coach Steve Mariucci just said he was "happy with my pitching staff."

Classic Lions. They finally made the Super Bowl, and they still had a quarterback controversy.

By the afternoon of the Lions-Patriots game, the third and fourth feet of snow had hit. You wondered how anybody would make it to the game.

Yet Ford Field was filled an hour before kickoff -- Detroiters were not going to miss this, even if they had to climb in through a second-story window.

And that's when the 22-point underdog Lions pulled off the greatest upset in Super Bowl history. They handed the Patriots their first loss in 24 games, thanks to four touchdown passes by ...

Joey Harrington.

And as Harrington rode off on his MVP bike, the most loyal fans in the NFL cheered louder than they ever had.

I know, I know. It sounds crazy. But hey, don't look at me.

It's not like I saw it coming.

Contact MICHAEL ROSENBERG at 313-222-6052 or rosenberg@freepress.com.

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