Califan007 The Constipated

In case you guys forgot about the GoFundMe effort...

Road House remake was...good enough.

Fight scenes were a million times better, but most still lacked something, not sure what. Logic was more sound (not saying much there lol). The love story--what there was of it--was more believable. Gyllenhaal's Dalton was good, I enjoyed it...I definitely got the impression why he should be feared. There were enough scenes from the original that were mirrored in the remake that I felt the lineage and connection between the two movies well enough.

But it still lacked that certain engagement and charm that full-blown cheese can bring lol...and there were pretty much zero memorable lines in the movie. Nobody's gonna be quoting the remake in 30 years like people quote the original now. As someone said earlier, having McGregor say the "I ****ed guys like you in prison" would have fit his character perfectly, but I assume that in today's age jokes about rape are avoided at all costs. And there was no cool best friend like Sam Elliot's character, though to be fair nobody can duplicate anything Elliot ever does in any movie, ever lol.

I didn't like one over the other, but thought the first one was more engaging and the remake was far better made.

7 minutes ago, GoCommiesGo said:

That was there, I’m more referring to the ridiculous ones. “Pain don’t hurt”, the prison one and the “I want you to be nice... until it's time... to not be nice”.

 

I had a different expectation of the movie. I knew going in it wasn’t going to be a true remake. But I expected a little more of the original to be included. 

 

I'm watching it now...so far they have removed all the cheese, which for all its faults is what gave the original whatever charm it had. So far, it's technically a better movie but not as engaging as the original...and like you said, no ridiculous-but-memorable lines lol...that was one of the things I liked about the original.

30 minutes ago, GoCommiesGo said:

In the end all I really needed was at least one of the original lines to be included. They were so bad it was good. 

I thought it did?..."No one ever wins a fight" was in the original and also in the trailer for the remake (although everything in trailers doesn't always make it into the movie).

1 hour ago, Fergasun said:

Rachel Maddow in a suit, but he's wrong.  The extremists won't get emboldened.  You voted for the extremists whether you wanted a moderate GOPer or something else.  Just don't vote for the GOP because they let the extremists run things.

 

 

Huh? What are you commenting on?

If you were commenting on Cohen's video, he basically said the same thing you did lol...

You: "You voted for the extremists whether you wanted a moderate GOPer or something else.  Just don't vote for the GOP because they let the extremists run things."

Cohen: "When you cast your ballots in November, remember there's the Democrats, and then there's Marjorie Taylor Greene...and there's nothing in between."

And more...

Oh, ****...this one just came out 3 days ago lol:

Some extra commentary on the announced retirement...

1 minute ago, Destino said:

 I watched it too and thought it was hilarious. I’m not sure it was meant to be funny, but it was. I feel like this was in the spirit of the original which was also so hilariously bad that it was funny. It’s a very different movie but it’s in the same spirit of stupid action movies. I knew I was going to like it early.

 

the first fight scene with post Malone was very well shot. Unexpected for this sort of movie. It made me put down the iPad. Then when this new Dalton asks the guy that just stabbed if he wants to take his knife… I was all in. The first road house was about inexplicably famous bouncer that fancied himself a white hat, but wasn’t. This new one is about a crazy guy that knows he’s horrible that is uncertain as to why people keep talking to him. Both have appeal. 

OK, I gotta watch the remake now lol 👍...

24 minutes ago, Spaceman Spiff said:

Yeah, he pushed a polar bear on the fattest, most useless part of the gang. 
 

It’s a movie that’s so bad that it’s good. That’s hard to pull off. 

I will give you both of those lol...

3 hours ago, China said:

 

Meh, at this point she's won enough in judgment dollars, I doubt she wants to go another round and spend more time in court and with appeals that will last years, especially at her age.  The next likely legal step for her would be to get an injunction prohibiting Trump from making the defamatory remarks which, if he were to violate, would be a criminal violation that could result in jail time.

How long did her previous trials last?...

And how much is "enough" for someone who was sexually assaulted and then publicly smeared for years by the man who assaulted her, and continues to do so? I can't even slightly imagine what that would feel like. She went from winning $5 million to winning $83 million in mere months. Plus, whatever money she gets will most likely go to her family as well, especially when she's no longer with us...that just adds another motivation.

44 minutes ago, Spaceman Spiff said:

I should make a counter video to this ****ing pinecones video about what a hopeless sack of nerd this guy is. 

Dalton pushed a stuffed polar bear on a guy...then another guy threw a spear at Dalton right after that...nowhere in my mind would I have expected anyone, anywhere, to think a fight scene using spears and stuffed polar bears as weapons during the climactic fight scene(!!) would be seen as anything other than laughable lol...

6 hours ago, TradeTheBeal! said:

I always wondered what kind of humorless gumps watch those miserable “everything wrong with” videos.

Translation: "****, he's right." lol...

This apparently was uploaded to YouTube yesterday...it covers a lot of the same stuff I mentioned, plus a ton of other stuff lol...

3 minutes ago, TheGreatBuzz said:

 

He has a pretty good record of providing incriminating statements. I say encourage him to speak.

Ooooh, good point lol...could net E. Jean Carroll another $50 Mil as well.

2 minutes ago, Renegade7 said:

 

Yep...during the transition on inauguration day...

 

Folks can say what they want about the similarities or differences between the two adminitrations...but that Pic to me symbolizes the peaceful transition of power between the two anyway and is frankly wholesome AF : )

It speaks volumes to where we used to be...a peaceful transfer of power portrayed in a genuinely wholesome image (like you said). I may have to use that photo on Twitter lol...

"This is going to annoy Trump so expect another Truth Social rant."

I may be in the minority, but causing Trump to post another Truth Social rant isn't much of a motivator for me to do something lol...

12 hours ago, Renegade7 said:

Are those Obama's daughters with the Bush daughters?

1 hour ago, tshile said:

Yeah and any time you feel slightly inclined to give a little praise, recall he was part of filming cheerleaders naked without the knowledge (much less permission) and circulating it around his little crew of frat boy jerkoffs. 
 

or any of the other ways in which he humiliated, demeaned, or outright went after another person simply because he thought he could  

Hate to be that guy, but the part in bold is not true.

What little video footage they had of any of the cheerleaders naked was a normal part of "behind the scenes" videotaping, and of course nudity never gets included in the behind-the-scenes clips in videos that go out to the public...and the cheerleaders usually know ahead of time that this videotaping will be occurring.

What Snyder allegedly did, was request an edited compilation of the video that from all reports consisted a lot of close-ups of boobs and the groin area that were still clothed, not nude. And the close-ups were done in editing, not during the videotaping. I do think that whatever nude footage that happened to get filmed was also added to that compilation, and the cheerleaders had no idea a compilation video was being made...that's the part without their knowledge, not the videotaping itself. Nothing in their contract stated the footage of them would be used in that way (obviously lol). I'm a stickler on this because I have a ton of experience in this arena, except it's with photos during photo shoots and not video during videotaping.

7 minutes ago, Cooked Crack said:

 

Did Comer just say the "Merrick Garland impeachment"? lol...Did he already forget who they impeached?

Ok, final verdict: the original Road House was an incredibly stupid movie lol...

Maybe if I first watched it when I was 15 I'd have loved it. But as an adult, it's dumb as ****. It went downhill from my last edit...holy hell, did it ever. I think I broke a record for the number of times I said "ffs." Nobody should care if there's a remake of this movie.

What I liked:

- Swayze's Dalton was pretty enjoyable to watch for the first 30 minutes.

- A number of lesser characters did a good job acting (Red, the dude who rented the room to Dalton, a few others)

- There were a number of memorable and quotable lines throughout the movie.

- Sam Elliot's always clutch, no matter what movie he's in.

What made it suck:

- There was a fist fight about every 9 minutes lol...and NONE of them were riveting, exciting, or exhilarating. None were choreographed especially well. After like the fourth fight, it was almost boring to see yet another fight about to break out. They actually had one of the bad guys do a ****ing back flip onto the stage during one fight!! lol...I busted out laughing at that one, and not in a good way. And I didn't see anything about Dalton during these fights that was especially brutal or bad-ass or...well, anything. He didn't really do anything that set him apart as the best of the best or anything like that. Well, except for the throat thing lol...which was pretty dumb imo. And on that thought...

- The movie had Dalton literally rip a guy's throat out lol!!...I busted out laughing and said out loud "He did NOT just rip that guy's throat out...no way" and the watched it again. I mean, I'm all for suspending disbelief, but it's pretty much impossible to rip someone's throat out...that comes across as a teenage boy's fantasy about fights, and much of this movie is firmly anchored in teenage boy fantasies.

- The movie could have removed the doctor character completely and it would have improved the movie tremendously...she added zero to the storyline. Nothing, nada...just a contrived love story because conventional movie wisdom says the good looking protagonist must have a love interest. Would have preferred they replaced her scenes with more scenes of Sam Elliot's character.

- Logic just got flushed down the toilet early, and it never came back lol...biggest example: after the main villain dude calls Dalton and tells him to pick which person dies, the doc or Dalton's friend, shortly after he hangs up on Dalton his friend comes into the bar bloody and beaten. So what does the movie have Dalton do? He says "I have to find the doc"...um, hello? Call her, you stupid ****!! lol...wouldn't it make far more sense to quickly call where she works and tell her about the threat to her life instead of trying to "find" her?

But, oh, it gets worse lol...once he does find her, does he tell her that the villain dude threatened to kill her? Noooooo.....instead he says "Pack your things, we're out of here." Then--THEN--instead of maybe now telling her that her life is in danger and that's why they need to leave, Dalton just grabs her and starts forcing her to leave lol. THEN, instead of (again) telling her that someone threatened to kill her, he only says "The man is crazy." That's it. I mean, just ****ing tell her the villain dude said he's gonna kill her!! I dunno, maybe she'd leave with you, then? lol...Jeebus.

- Speaking of which, why did Wade (I think that was his name) go to the bar after being beat up? Did they drop him off at the bar after beating him up? Plus, I thought Wade left town already. As well as, the villain dude just threatened to kill Wade...and Dalton, instead of keeping him close by and safe, tells Wade to stay at the empty bar...alone...and have a beer lol. Dude had been ****ed up badly by your enemies who said they may kill him...might be a good idea to take him with you when you're going to the hospital to find the doctor you're dating. Wade even wanted to go with him!! But no..."stay here and have a beer." A convenient way to move the plot along. I'm sorry, that's just lazy writing.

- Seemed pretty much like the only reason any females were in the movie was to be eye candy. Yes, there was the waitress who more or less disappeared completely 30 minutes into the movie, and of course the doctor...but the overwhelming majority of the women in the movie didn't even have lines. After awhile, it felt as if this was just the director casting whatever woman he found attractive and shot scenes where they had to take off their tops. If I were 15 I probably wouldn't have cared lol...yay, boobies. But as a grown-ass adult it just came across as if these women really wanted to be in a movie and the director took advantage of that. It took me out of the movie.

- I'm sorry, but Jeff Healey didn't need to be featured so much...or at all.

- Everyone had a knife, nobody had a gun. Well, almost nobody...throatless dude had a gun that--for some reason--he decided not to use immediately after taking it out of his ankle holster. But during those first 97 fight scenes I kept thinking "You mean to tell me NONE of these guys carries a gun? Is this town in Vermont or something?"

- Speaking of which (again lol), why the **** didn't they just kill Dalton? Could have picked him off easily at any time during the movie. Instead the villain dude blows up a business, blows up a house, destroys another business, then threatens to kill either Dalton's friend or Dalton's girlfriend--then follows through and kills his friend. They won't kill Dalton, but they'll kill his friend? WT actual F? I felt like Scott from Austin Powers telling Dr. Evil "I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow Dalton's brains out!" lol...or maybe more like Saul Goodman in Breaking Bad: "Excuse me, fellas, but if a mosquito is buzzing around you, you don't go gunning for the mosquito's friend."

I'm halfway tempted to watch the remake, but something tells me it won't be any better. I will say again, the first 30 minutes almost had me sold on it turning out to be a better than expected film. Didn't work out that way, though.

I just started watching the original Road House like I said I would awhile back. I'm about 15 minutes into the movie...yeah lol. I think I needed to be 15 the first time I saw this in order to get the most out of it.

I'm gonna assume it gets better, though.

EDIT: Ok, 30 minutes in....it's MUCH better now lol. Dialogue is actually pretty well-written and well delivered--the back and forth with the guy who rented him the room in his barn(?) was full of memorable lines. I'm also on board with Swayze's Dalton. There's still enough cheese to clog several arteries lol...but I'm willing to keep watching.

Ain't nobody bad like me...