spjunkies

Time to be responsible

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I've been debating posting this for a while because I thought this might be over the top, but I've told you guys and gals some of my highest high's and lowest moments (mostly this) within the last however years I've been posting here, so why not This?

 

Bottom line, I'm a little over 18k in debt from helping my ex-girlfriend over the past 3 years. I don't think it's necessary to get into specifics, but long story short I pretty much bought a false relationship. Yes, I'm very embarrassed about this but I've concluded I'm never going to meet you wonderful people in person so why not be honest about things?

 

The reason I'm making this thread is because I want to hold myself accountable so that I won't slip up again. After paying all of my bills every month I should have roughly 11-1400 leftover that I'm going to throw into a savings account and since I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck I'm going to throw it at one of my 4 companies that I owe money to every three months. Eventually I'll add screen caps so that you'll see that I'm actually doing this instead of blowing money on useless ****. Where does ES come in? If by next December I'm not within 2k of paying this mess off, I'll request a permanent ban from this site. I just don't trust myself, so I have to take away something that I really enjoy.

 

To be extra honest, my mother is talking about giving me a large sum of cash within the next few months but this is no guarantee. If I do get this cash my goal will shift to instead save a certain amount towards retirement and/or living expenses, not sure how to handle that one just yet.

 

Now I don't want to be selfish so if anyone would like to throw their own personal goal into this thread, feel free :)

 

Time to do this!

Edited by spjunkies
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Good luck!

 

That's debt is nothing to scoff at but it's far from insurmountable.

 

Are you using anything other than paper to keep track?

 

I like mint.com - it's a product intuit purchased. It's free and works well for me - which means it's got ads and they probably are mining my data. I believe seeing the numbers regularly help you - it's also encouraging to me to see progress towards goals.

 

It'll also make your screen shots easier ;)

 

Cheers! Financial freedom is great. You'll be there soon enough.

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4 minutes ago, tshile said:

Good luck!

 

That's debt is nothing to scoff at but it's far from insurmountable.

 

Are you using anything other than paper to keep track?

 

I like mint.com - it's a product intuit purchased. It's free and works well for me - which means it's got ads and they probably are mining my data. I believe seeing the numbers regularly help you - it's also encouraging to me to see progress towards goals.

 

It'll also make your screen shots easier ;)

 

Cheers! Financial freedom is great. You'll be there soon enough.

 

Thanks for the info. I've downloaded You Need A Budget, but I'm not a big fan. I'll give mint a shot and see how that one works out. 

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4 minutes ago, spjunkies said:

 

Thanks for the info. I've downloaded You Need A Budget, but I'm not a big fan. I'll give mint a shot and see how that one works out. 

I was tracking budget in a journal for years. i tried mint, the software my bank provided, I looked into YNAB, etc. but I kept going back to the journal. I got way more than 18K in student debt. Waay more if you count mortgage, both our student loans, and car payments. Now I've been using google sheets and a budget spreadsheet template that they had. Been using it for about two years now. It's basically like my manual entry system, except I can put it on my phone and it's with me all the time. My point is, keep looking for the budgeting system that works for you and your lifestyle. Don't be afraid to go back to other methods that you liked. 

 

Best of luck. 

 

Anyway, you've set yourself what's called a "stretch goal", now create smaller goals that help you get to that goal. Daily, weekly goals. And if you mess up one day, get right back on the horse. 

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2 minutes ago, Elessar78 said:

I was tracking budget in a journal for years. i tried mint, the software my bank provided, I looked into YNAB, etc. but I kept going back to the journal. I got way more than 18K in student debt. Waay more if you count mortgage, both our student loans, and car payments. Now I've been using google sheets and a budget spreadsheet template that they had. Been using it for about two years now. It's basically like my manual entry system, except I can put it on my phone and it's with me all the time. My point is, keep looking for the budgeting system that works for you and your lifestyle. Don't be afraid to go back to other methods that you liked. 

 

Best of luck. 

 

Anyway, you've set yourself what's called a "stretch goal", now create smaller goals that help you get to that goal. Daily, weekly goals. And if you mess up one day, get right back on the horse. 

 

Thanks man, I'm going to look into the spreadsheets since that seems more like my style.

 

I know there are many people who are in a much bigger hole than me, reality hit me when I sat my butt down and wrote out my numbers. I was totally embarrassed since I was NEVER in debt when I was making 30-40k for many years, now that I've doubled that salary I can't even enjoy it because I've managed to screw things up so badly.

 

 

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Get up.  cheap breakfast.  cheap dinner.  Sleep.  Poor people do it every day.  You'll be back on track before you know it, especially with a K to burn.  Sheez.  Don't make me beat your ass. 

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Eliminate some of the stuff or cut down the things that you use. 

 

Pay off the ones with the highest interest first...then add that payment towards the next highest bill. You'll be debt free in no time. 

 

 

 

 

4 minutes ago, skinsmarydu said:

Get up. cheap breakfast.  cheap dinner. Sleep.  

 

Make all of your meals at home and eat left overs. 

Think about how we all ( most of us ) ate Ramen noodles twice a day to have money for beer or dates. 

Same process. 

Edited by Kosher Ham
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3 minutes ago, Kosher Ham said:

Eliminate some of the stuff or cut down the things that you use. 

 

Pay off the ones with the highest interest first...then add that payment towards the next highest bill. You'll be debt free in no time. 

 

 

 

 

 

Make all of your meals at home and eat left overs. 

Thing about how we all ( most of us ) ate Ramen noodles twice a day to have money for beer or dates. 

Same process. 

dont cross me out.  cheap in my world is cereal (milk is expensive, but my boss is cool with everyone's usage at MY JOB) and free lunch/dinner...but I have "that kinda job". 

 

But Kosh is right about the rest.  Highest int first.  Then, for the love of God, just pay a little on everything.  Makes everyone happy.

A grand to spare.  Holy cow. 

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1 minute ago, Kosher Ham said:

Eliminate some of the stuff or cut down the things that you use. 

 

Pay off the ones with the highest interest first...then add that payment towards the next highest bill. You'll be debt free in no time. 

 

 

 

 

 

I've already went to a lower cell plan so that's -120.

 

I was going to attack the high interest credit card first that i owe $3600 on BUT I had the bright idea to pay off my sofi loan that i owe $3200 first and after that is paid off take out a 10k loan with sofi to roll the $3600 card and another personal loan that I took out for $5,000 into, I'm paying 13.99% interest on that loan. Hopefully that makes sense, I would only be paying around 6% interest on the next sofi loan if I take that route.

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Seriously, look at your cell phone bill. My bill is around 65 bucks a month. I get all the data and calls/texts that I need. 

Cable bill ? Do you really need all that stuff ? 

Pay a premium for internet and start streaming shows. 

I saved a ton of money by simply eliminating DirecTv and paying for other services ( Netflix and such), I bought antennas for my TVs and they all get 40 stations or so in HD. 

I can afford to pay the 300 bucks a month that I was paying... I decided that I don't watch enough TV to bother with it. The streaming services total about 400 bucks per year instead. 

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you need to start hustling.  Uber and Lyft.  Work as much as you can as much as you can.  Use hte internet to research for cheap food.  Buy food from places like Aldi.  No more eating out.  

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Mint is pretty clutch. 

 

Two of my fav tricks are text messages for every transaction when your bank account is under something rediculious like 10k and everything auto draft all the time. 

 

Text messages serve as a reminder of the bottom line for every transaction, including the auto ones. 

 

The auto draft is clutch cause you know your bills are paid on time EVERY month. And that is easily the most important part. After that you see saving money as paying yourself for being responsible. Just another bill. 

 

Good luck homie.

 

 

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1 minute ago, skinsmarydu said:

dont cross me out.  cheap in my world is cereal (milk is expensive, but my boss is cool with everyone's usage at MY JOB) and free lunch/dinner...but I have "that kinda job". 

 

 

Not meant to be disrespectful. I did that wrong. I was trying to add on to your point by some examples. I knew what you meant. Hit me with the chair. 

 

@spjunkies, NOOO. Do not take out another loan if they will allow you to negotiate the interest. Try that first. 

Whew, I read that again. It might work out.

I would try to use interest free cards to buy off debt from other cards. You actually see the debt drop quickly. 

 

After that you are going to have to be responsible with how and when you use cards. I use mine to book vacations ( and that is only for the insurance reasons). 

My wife used one of hers last week to buy a pair of shoes...just to keep the card active. 

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3 minutes ago, skinsmarydu said:

dont cross me out.  cheap in my world is cereal (milk is expensive, but my boss is cool with everyone's usage at MY JOB) and free lunch/dinner...but I have "that kinda job". 

 

But Kosh is right about the rest.  Highest int first.  Then, for the love of God, just pay a little on everything.  Makes everyone happy.

A grand to spare.  Holy cow. 

 

Yes, 1k leftover seems nice, but I'm still not sure how to manage this since I've basically been giving every spare penny to her. Right now I'll have roughly $150 left in my account after my apartment decides to take the rent. I get paid my "non-crucial" paycheck on Friday that will be for $1900 but here is what will be taken out almost immediately.

 

T-mobile - $127

loan repayment - 343

Best Buy card - $262 (paying this off before the no interest promo for a year ends)

Other loan - 197

Sofi - 100 but not due until the 10th 

 

I get paid again 2 weeks later but $1630 is going to rent from that.

 

This sucks, I hate it :(

 

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Damn, bro.  Rough situation.

 

Just don't let it effect your trust in the future.

 

I was heading down a similar road and snapped out of it after a few months.  ****ed around a bit for a year or so after that (being a douche bag) but the next serious relationship I had was with my now wife (been together 10 years - the best of my life).  I had reflexively developed trust issues with woman and I hadn't noticed everything that I was doing until one day I was over the top with her (my then gf/now wife) with money and she looked legitimately hurt and confused at the same time.

 

Be guarded but don't turn into a killer.  The world has enough of those and you're a good ****ing dude.

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15 minutes ago, Kosher Ham said:

Seriously, look at your cell phone bill. My bill is around 65 bucks a month. I get all the data and calls/texts that I need. 

Cable bill ? Do you really need all that stuff ? 

Pay a premium for internet and start streaming shows. 

I saved a ton of money by simply eliminating DirecTv and paying for other services ( Netflix and such), I bought antennas for my TVs and they all get 40 stations or so in HD. 

I can afford to pay the 300 bucks a month that I was paying... I decided that I don't watch enough TV to bother with it. The streaming services total about 400 bucks per year instead. 

 

Thankfully, I cut the cable out around 2 years ago only time I really watch tv is when the Skins play, sucks when they play on CBS because I get 0 reception with my antenna.  EVERYTHING I do is now via my phone (love ya tmobile)

 

10 minutes ago, skinfan2k said:

you need to start hustling.  Uber and Lyft.  Work as much as you can as much as you can.  Use hte internet to research for cheap food.  Buy food from places like Aldi.  No more eating out.  

 

I would love to do the rideshare thing if I could but I have low vision so can't drive at all and my night vision sucks so any part time gig I get is limited.

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T-mobile rips me off for 60/mo because I only need one friggin' line...so stop paying for whatever else you're paying for. 

You gotta get real with finances.  Water, weed, phone, food.  In that order.  (I'm working with Kosher's joke theme.)  Priorities, indeed.:ols:

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4 minutes ago, Kosher Ham said:

Okay, Time for a joke...

 

I heard there is a website called Sugar Babies. 

 

 

You might say it as a joke, but more confession I went on there back in April after I wasn't getting what I wanted from the one I was giving everything to and I can confirm it is legit. I hooked up with a cute Latina for about 3-4 months but things ended when she moved back to her country with her family. That's a whole other complicated thing I got myself into but it was fun while it lasted lol.

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Did you buy all of Best Buy ? Geez. 

That is a number higher than some peoples car payment. 

 

As long as you keep your head on straight and genuinely make an effort to not WASTE money. You should be fine. 

Anyone that is in my circle knows my take on this because I say it all the time... and now you guys do as well...

" I have no problem spending money, I spend lots of it, but I HATE wasting money"

 

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8 minutes ago, DC9 said:

Damn, bro.  Rough situation.

 

Just don't let it effect your trust in the future.

 

I was heading down a similar road and snapped out of it after a few months.  ****ed around a bit for a year or so after that (being a douche bag) but the next serious relationship I had was with my now wife (been together 10 years - the best of my life).  I had reflexively developed trust issues with woman and I hadn't noticed everything that I was doing until one day I was over the top with her (my then gf/now wife) with money and she looked legitimately hurt and confused at the same time.

 

Be guarded but don't turn into a killer.  The world has enough of those and you're a good ****ing dude.

 

I think my problem comes down to lack of confidence and it stems from my vision and being tall and lanky. I've started to lift weights to fix the lanky part and started going to a shrink to fix the broken confidence.

Just now, Kosher Ham said:

Did you buy all of Best Buy ? Geez. 

That is a number higher than some peoples car payment. 

 

As long as you keep your head on straight and genuinely make an effort to not WASTE money. You should be fine. 

Anyone that is in my circle knows my take on this because I say it all the time... and now you guys do as well...

" I have no problem spending money, I spend lots of it, but I HATE wasting money"

 

 

No no no, that's to pay the card off in full. I only have to pay like $27 but if I do that I'll get hit with $124 back interest if not paid in full by 11/13.

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11 minutes ago, spjunkies said:

 

I think my problem comes down to lack of confidence and it stems from my vision and being tall and lanky. I've started to lift weights to fix the lanky part and started going to a shrink to fix the broken confidence.

 

**** pimp let me know if you need any help with that.

 

One of my favorite things to do is lift.

 

Keep at it and be patient.

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Its worth it to try to renegotiate your interest. You'd be surprised what a phone call can get you. If you're paying down that much debt, every break you can get will help.

 

Then consolidating into smaller interest loans is a huge help. Just remember the goal - consolidating helps you pay it off while not wasting as much in interest. It is *not* to reduce your total monthly payoff so you can spend the money elsewhere.

 

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Just now, DC9 said:

 

**** pimp let me know if you need any help with that.

 

One of my favorite things to do is lift.

 

Keep at it and be patient.

 

Thanks man, I've been looking at guys like furious Pete on YouTube to make sure I half way knew what I was doing but I'll definitely reach out since you have lifting knowledge.

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