btfoom

Cancer Sucks

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The Thursday before July 4th weekend, I came home so full of myself.  I had a long weekend ahead of me, was going out to play racquetball, cornhole, and drinking with my buddies.  Great night to be sure.  Got home to see my 20 year old daughter weeping on our front steps (I figured it was a problem with her boyfriend), but she looked up at me and said the 3 words that changed my life - "Mom's got cancer".  I felt like I just got punched in my gut.

Diagnosis was a lump in her left breast and testing on the right.  The next week we were told they found cancer in the right side too.  Not very common.

Talked to doctors and decided on double mastectomy, with earliest surgery on August 24.  Yes, this summer has sucked as we waited and waited.  Seemed to be longest summer of our lives.  Last week she went in and right side went great, but left side showed trace in lymph node.  They took rest out and put them in for biopsy.  Take a week to get results.  That was the worst week of my life.  Got the call last night and it was NEGATIVE!!!!   May still need some local radiation treatment, but this was the best possible result.  I finally feel like a great weight was lifted off my chest.

Now I'm on a crusade.  Do NOT let your doctor tell you that your wife/sister/daughter/etc can skip a year without having a mammogram (and ask for the 3-D).  If they are like my wife and have "dense breast tissues" - means they have non-cancerous fibers - make sure they do additional testing on any lump you feel.  Even one year can mean the difference between large surgery and easy treatment.  Don't wait too long, it's not worth it, trust me.

Save the Ta-Ta's!!!

Edited by btfoom
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Thoughts and prayers, cancer sucks.

Glad the report was good

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Best wishes for continued cancer free diagnoses.

Cancer definitely sucks.

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Thanks to you both.

I hope that even one person reads this post and decides to get checked out, OR have their doctor take a closer look at their results.

Her surgeon believes that the cancerous mass has been there for at least 2 years, but wasn't detected the first time because of her fibrous conditions.

If this post leads to someone getting a second look or early diagnosis, then it was well worth it.

Yes, cancer sucks.  Better to get rid of it ASAP.

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Thoughts and prayers are with you both. If you ever need someone to talk to shoot me a pm and I'll give you my email.

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Reading a book about behavioral change and one case study they use was about women's breast cancer center attached to a university in California. Basically the main change that they were known for was getting EVERYTHING on the same day. So if you had a diagnosis in the morning they could do the biopsy and let you know the results that day.

 

 

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Glad things seem to have worked out as well as they could have.  I don't know if you saw the thread Huly started for us a while back, but my wife went through the same thing, including the double mastectomy.  She had chemo for months, then surgery, and she's finishing up radiation this month.

In terms of the mammogram, it was more or less the same kind of scenario for us.  My wife had a mammogram a couple years ago which showed a mass that the doctor's weren't very concerned about, but the plan was to follow up on it.  Later that year my wife got pregnant so they couldn't do another mammogram.  She noticed a lump when my son was about 9 months old but assumed it was a complication from nursing.  She finally called it in to her doc and they saw her as soon as possible.  Turns out if we had waited much longer she'd have been terminal.

PM me if you ever need anything, or if you just need to unload to someone who has been through/is going through the same thing.

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On 9/3/2016 at 8:40 PM, dfitzo53 said:

Glad things seem to have worked out as well as they could have.  I don't know if you saw the thread Huly started for us a while back, but my wife went through the same thing, including the double mastectomy.  She had chemo for months, then surgery, and she's finishing up radiation this month.

In terms of the mammogram, it was more or less the same kind of scenario for us.  My wife had a mammogram a couple years ago which showed a mass that the doctor's weren't very concerned about, but the plan was to follow up on it.  Later that year my wife got pregnant so they couldn't do another mammogram.  She noticed a lump when my son was about 9 months old but assumed it was a complication from nursing.  She finally called it in to her doc and they saw her as soon as possible.  Turns out if we had waited much longer she'd have been terminal.

PM me if you ever need anything, or if you just need to unload to someone who has been through/is going through the same thing.

Thanks very much.

 

I did see the original thread, but didn't want to post there to draw attention away from your wife and your family's situation.  I have been reading it and wanted to reach out. I just didn't want to bother you.

 

I very much hope that she gets better soon and pray for her and your family every night.  It sucks dealing with cancer.

 

I will contact you some time to get a perspective on how to deal more long term if you don't mind.  I'm happy to also hear from you, even if you just want to vent a bit.  We are really ALL in this together.

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Wow btfoom, i want to say congrats on the news, but saying congratulations in response to that post seems weird.  Really glad though that it had a good outcome, that is terrifying stuff.  Thanks also for the advice

What age should women start getting regular mamograms?

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On 9/5/2016 at 5:23 PM, zoony said:

Wow btfoom, i want to say congrats on the news, but saying congratulations in response to that post seems weird.  Really glad though that it had a good outcome, that is terrifying stuff.  Thanks also for the advice

What age should women start getting regular mamograms?

 

Hi Zoony

Thanks for posting here.  A mod always gives a thread a good feel about it.

Saw the oncologist today and asked her about your question.

Of course it all depends on risk factors, but if there are none, she suggested they start on 21st birthday for first one.  Let doctor know from there.

The best thing that women can do is to self-exam and report ANYTHING different right away.  Don't let it go because of any matter of issues.

As for us, the oncologist recommends a 4 time chemo therapy (3 weeks between) to make sure they get all of it.

I will be PM'ing @dfitzo53 to get his insights.

Lastly, this thread isn't about me or my wife, it's about everyone who has any issues with cancer and those who will stand with them fighting them.  Please post any stories, ideas, rants, etc.  I'd appreciate it.

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On 9/5/2016 at 4:45 PM, btfoom said:

 I have been reading it and wanted to reach out. I just didn't want to bother you. 

Don't worry about bothering me. You won't be. I've leaned on daveakl quite a bit at times. Cancer is a mother****er, and the caretakers need help too. 

 

As some famous dude once said, "Always do for others, and let others do for you."

Edited by dfitzo53
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I'm a geneticist, and see a lot of women and families to talk about genetic testing for breast cancer risk.  PM me if I can help with anything.  

 

Wishing you and your wife all  the best.  

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2 hours ago, bcl05 said:

I'm a geneticist, and see a lot of women and families to talk about genetic testing for breast cancer risk.  PM me if I can help with anything.  

 

Wishing you and your wife all  the best.  

 

Thanks very much.  She had one genetic test to determine if she had some type of trait for breast cancer (can't remember the details, sorry).  Came back negative (thank goodness).  If we are asked to do more, I will PM you to get your take.

Appreciate all the support here.

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I am so glad for you that the most recent results were negative.   Cancer is so scary.

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Cancer is the biggest piece of ****ing **** ass dick **** ****!!!

I ****ing hate it!

I know all too well the troubles with cancer and I pray for everyone with a negative diagnosis!

I am also here to help... going through a big issue in our family right now with the C word.

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Even if you just want to vent, I've found that coming here and posting is cathartic and helps me get some of the issues off my chest.  Feel free to do the same.

 

We welcome all who are affected cancer, no matter  who/what.  We all want to be a part of fighting for you.

Edited by btfoom

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On 9/8/2016 at 1:06 PM, Predicto said:

I am so glad for you that the most recent results were negative.   Cancer is so scary.

 

That is so nice of you.  Thanks very much.

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Glad to hear the latest results are negative. I definitely agree, get those screenings. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have to go through such worry. Very happy for you that it turned into relief!

 

~John

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On 9/10/2016 at 7:17 AM, Bang said:

Glad to hear the latest results are negative. I definitely agree, get those screenings. I can only imagine what it must feel like to have to go through such worry. Very happy for you that it turned into relief!

 

~John

 

appreciate the nice thoughts very much.

The wife starts her first round of Chemo-Therapy on Monday.  She was mostly worried about losing her hair, but got a wig a few days ago that looks great (she's joking it looks so good she may  just wear it all the time).  She feels better now and looks forward to being done 9 weeks from now.

The support here has been great - thanks so much.

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First round of Chemo and after 5 days, my wife has lost her sense of taste.  What a complete sack of Sugar Honey Ice Tea!!!!  She's been through so much and now doesn't like anything to eat or drink due to the Chemo.  Eff that.  Can't wait for a better solution.

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10 minutes ago, btfoom said:

First round of Chemo and after 5 days, my wife has lost her sense of taste.  What a complete sack of Sugar Honey Ice Tea!!!!  She's been through so much and now doesn't like anything to eat or drink due to the Chemo.  Eff that.  Can't wait for a better solution.

We had to keep trying tons of different foods until Abby would find one she liked.  Then she would binge eat it to keep calories up.  Weight gain shakes, breakfast shakes, chocolate milk were all good ones also.

Lisa made this peanut butter ball that had oats, flax, chocolate chips, cranberries, and some other stuff in it.  She would freeze them and then we would feed them to Abby when she needed a boost (or eat them ourselves when we were exhausted)

Milkshakes were a hit for a while also.

 

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taste will return in time, stay strong....and supportive.

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1 minute ago, daveakl said:

We had to keep trying tons of different foods until Abby would find one she liked.  Then she would binge eat it to keep calories up.  Weight gain shakes, breakfast shakes, chocolate milk were all good ones also.

Lisa made this peanut butter ball that had oats, flax, chocolate chips, cranberries, and some other stuff in it.  She would freeze them and then we would feed them to Abby when she needed a boost (or eat them ourselves when we were exhausted)

Milkshakes were a hit for a while also.

 

I can't thank you enough for this post and your help.  Thank You so very much!!!!!!!!!

I so much hope your wife is doing better.  I do pray for her and please let us know how she's doing if you want.

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Just now, btfoom said:

I can't thank you enough for this post and your help.  Thank You so very much!!!!!!!!!

I so much hope your wife is doing better.  I do pray for her and please let us know how she's doing if you want.

 

It's actually our daughter Abby that ?has/had? cancer (not sure how that works or what we say now to be honest).  She finished chemo in August and her first post treatment MRI came back clear (9/16/2016).

Her taste changed some during radiation, more because it was total brain and spine.  The chemo def changed it.

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