Burgold Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 So, I know what you're thinking and you're right. Forty isn't too old to be an NFL rookie. Who cares if my forty speed is a bit slow, that number of dead lifts is a bit low, and I'm a little small and light... I've found the perfect position for me. NFL Third String QB. Now, you might question my arm and the fact that no one has any game tape of me reading a defense or throwing into coverage, but let me tell you... I can hold a clip board better than 99% of the guys out there. I do it with style, man! More, I can nod with conviction when huddled with the starter and the offensive coordinator. That's bringing the confidence! And if you need athleticism, when the Redskins score anyone who's been at the games besides me knows I have a tremendous vertical. I can leap out of the stands! I can high and low five. I can pat backs. More, I will be completely content with a rookie minimum salary and if my contract ever comes up... Vet min! I am like no hassles. The one guy on the team you'd never have to worry about. Sure, I'm no Colt McCoy, but 9/10 times if you have to put your third team QB in the seasons done for anyway. Let's be honest, even though Colt beat Dallas, putting in that third string QB meant the season was over and in the end it was. Heck, most of the time if the first two get hurt the front office scrambles and picks up a vet off the street to hurry into the line up. I can hand off! I can throw it away! No one throws a fade route like me! So, put me on the bench, coach. I'm ready to sit... today. Put me on the bench, I'm ready to play (one the scout team) today! Pick Burgold for your 7th rounder. I won't be sorry. For the rest of you, ... serious or humorous, what position would you line up in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Califan007 The Constipated Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Punter...from what I've learned here on ES is apparently all it takes to be a successful punter is to "Kick the ball hard...that way". I can do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 OLB. I usually play that position in Flag and i can bring the blitz off the edge. I don't contain but i get to the QB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ComManDersFan57 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I can drop passes just as well as the best of them can. I played wide out in flag years and years ago, but now I'm way too old and fragile. I'd get killed on the first hit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rskins06 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 4th string QB on practice squad. At 45, I can no longer throw football 65 yards (well, can probably still do it, maybe once) can no longer run a 4.6 40 (maybe low to mid 5 second range) (still an Active Duty Soldier so can still do a little) and may have (definitely) lost the light feet I once had. Probably be as effective in pocket now as a tackling dummy. Well, I guess if you needed an older, somewhat movement challenged real talking dummy, I am definitely the right guy! Could even hold a clipboard pretty good. Close to retirement so maybe I give professional 4th string QB/tackling dummy a shot. Of course, in order to be drafted, they would probably have to go back to 14 rounds, so 14th round may be the spot. I don't even need rookie minimum, $70,000 will do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wysknz1 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I've never been good enough to play the game. I'm head coaching material. My spot will open up at the end of the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LD0506 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Equipment manager to "adjust" ball pressure in critical situations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostofSparta Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Long Snapper. And since I'm a redhead, I would clearly be the next Ethan Albright. At 30, I've even got a good 10-15 years left at that position. C'mon, time for the Red Snapper part 2! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Major Harris Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Quality control assistant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Running Back, Riggo 2. 1) Because I am a beast like that, and 2) Because in all my time here what I would most like to post at others on the board is Loosen up, Sandy Baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsGuy Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Beleaguered head coach, because I still don't believe some of the things I see here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Stupid Loser Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I'd like to be the guy who holds the ball on kick offs when it's windy. I can run down the field behind everybody and whiff on Hester like everybody else does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Cheerleader masseuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 Cheerleader masseuse. And that's why he gets paid the big bucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
London Kev Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 I would like to think that at 6'5" and 266 lbs I've got the size to be a damn fine first round OLB/edge rusher. My age may cost me a few spots and obviously the off-field issues may be a concern to some teams, dropping me a little more. Any type of psychological testing would probably lower my stock somewhat and my Rick Eisen-esque 40 yard dash may go against me. I think that my huge grandiosity gap more than makes up for these minor short-comings and I would be shocked if I didn't get picked in the top 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanskins Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Cheerleader masseuse. lol... I was a cheerleader for a semester in college..I know.. I know... 7 to 1 girls so they were desperate... very desperate... still I must say I never missed a practice!!! ... its like when my buddy confided in me that his son was quitting football and joining the band... I was like "oh no...no, no, no! you tell him.. he can be in "A" band but not "THE" band! That chit will follow you for life!"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 7 to 1 girls so they were desperate... very desperate... In my best Fred Savage from Princess Bride voice-- "Desperate cheerleaders doesn't sound so bad... Is this a kissing book?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanskins Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 lol... that is an awesome voice to say that in!!1 lol ... as you wish and I guess "THE" band isn't so bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedBeast Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 My heart says MLB but at 50 my mind knows better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Adama Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Nose Tackle. I guarantee I can clog the middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rskins06 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Cheerleader masseuse. You win Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 47 years old. 5-9 and 180. 5.2 40 time. Maybe equipment manager. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butters20 Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 30 year old. 5'11 and 230....FB or ILB. Also, I can kick the ball a country mile so P/K My 40 time would get me cut from the team Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanskins Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 47 years old. 5-9 and 180. 5.2 40 time. Maybe equipment manager. 47 running a 5.2 forty is impressive!....the only 40s i do now are old english... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pjfootballer Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 47 running a 5.2 forty is impressive!....the only 40s i do now are old english... Maybe I should have said 6.2 40 time. I was guessing. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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