Jump to content
Washington Football Team Logo
Extremeskins

I need dating advice!


brandymac27

Recommended Posts

Ok, so I'm a single 38 year old female who is divorced. I've been dating, and so far it's just been a total disaster.

I've met people on my own, had friends set me up on blind dates, i even tried online dating, all with the same results.

I've dated younger men, older men, men my own age, and the only conclusion I have come to is that all men are either perverts or liars. I don't understand this because I'm very open and honest with them. I tell them I'm not looking for a one night stand, and i want a friendship that hopefully develops into something more. But they still try their hardest to sleep with me on the first date or two.

I even had one idiot who asked me out for dinner, who i knew a hot 30 minutes, ask me to borrow my car! WTF???

I don't go to clubs, i dress appropriately, I'm totally honest with them, yet i can't find a decent guy! Now, i do go to sports bars to watch the games on occasion, but most of the guys I've met there are idiots, drunks, or cowgirls fans ( same difference).

I don't get it. Im educated, attractive, funny, smart etc, yet all i find are losers! What can i do (serious question- please no useless without pics crap lol) to increase my chances of finding Mr. Right????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I must have you confused with someone else, but didn't you used to post asking for relationship advice with your husband?  If I don't have you confused with someone else, then obviously this board didn't give you anything useful the first time.  ;)

 

Anyway, I may not be the best person to ask, I've been out of the game for 11 years now, but my understanding is that special interest clubs are a good bet.  Triathlete group to find fellow fitness enthusiasts, Habitat for Humanity to find fellow people giving of themselves, that sort of thing.  Probably a better bet than online dating, which I've never done, but understand to be a general ****-show.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ugh dating is the worst. It's essentially a shot in the dark every time, particularly with online dating.

My best advice would be similar to Forehead. Go out and do fun things without necessarily looking to meet someone. Often you meet people when you least expect it. Go to meetup.com and find a group you might think is cool. Hiking, cooking, horseback riding, whatever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

News Flash: All men ARE perverts.  We are going to try to sleep with you.  That is what we do.  Please don't be offended.  Take it as a compliment.  

 

Many of us are otherwise nice people, and ready to fulfill a role as half of a warm, complete and monogamous long term relationship.  The fact that we want to sleep with you when we meet you while dating doesn't mean we are incapable of that.   It just means we are horny.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I must have you confused with someone else, but didn't you used to post asking for relationship advice with your husband?  If I don't have you confused with someone else, then obviously this board didn't give you anything useful the first time.  ;)

 

Anyway, I may not be the best person to ask, I've been out of the game for 11 years now, but my understanding is that special interest clubs are a good bet.  Triathlete group to find fellow fitness enthusiasts, Habitat for Humanity to find fellow people giving of themselves, that sort of thing.  Probably a better bet than online dating, which I've never done, but understand to be a general ****-show.

No, that was me. We were married for 14 years, together for 17. I did ask for advice on here, but considering he was both physically and verbally abusive towards me and our kids, no advice in the world would have helped. I stayed because i was stupid, and it's been ingrained in me you make your marriage work no matter what.

Well, i decided to leave regardless of what my family and his were telling me for the sake of my kids and myself.

Here i am almost 4 years later asking for dating advice. Don't get me wrong, me and my 2 teenagers are happier than we've ever been, and i don't regret my decision to leave him, at all.

But it would be nice to find that special person. I know i deserve that, regardless if i stayed with my ex way too long.

News Flash: All men ARE perverts.  We are going to try to sleep with you.  That is what we do.  Please don't be offended.  Take it as a compliment.  

 

Many of us are otherwise nice people, and ready to fulfill a role as half of a warm, complete and monogamous long term relationship.  The fact that we want to sleep with you when we meet you while dating doesn't mean we are incapable of that.   It just means we are horny.

Thanks for being honest! So how do i filter through the guys who are just horny or want something real???

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hang in there Brandy, me and the wife have a lot of friends that went through the same situation.  It's frustrating, but don't give up.  Do you have any other hobbies (or time for one), sometimes that can open up more possibilities.

Thanks :). I'm trying to hang in there, but all of these strike outs are starting to make me feel like there's something wrong with me or I'm doing something wrong. It's taking a hit on my self confidence to be honest. Maybe it's because i did get married so young and haven't really started dating again until recently.

But i feel like this should be a fun, new experience for me. Instead, it's making me feel like I'm not good enough to find a person who likes me for me.

ayeeeee gurrrrllll  :D

 

ima slide up in2 deez DMs right hurr

Omg lol. You're lucky i have a sense of humor lmao :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for being honest! So how do i filter through the guys who are just horny or want something real???

Don't sleep with them and see how many stick around. All guys want it, but some of us will stick around without it in the beginning for a woman we are in to if looking for something more.

Should weed out the guys that aren't interested in anything other than sex.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for being honest! So how do i filter through the guys who are just horny or want something real???

 

 

The same way you filter anything else.  

 

When I was dating, I was horny all the time AND I wanted something real someday.  I've been happily married for 22 years.  But back when I was dating, I was trying to get my dates into bed long before I realized which one of them was the real thing.  I'm not saying you have to sleep with your dates.  If you don't want to, you don't have to do it just because they want it, and any guys who bail out immediately just because you didn't probably weren't worth it anyway.  

 

But don't mistake a guy wanting to have sex with you as proof that he doesn't "want something real."   All guys want sex, but lots of guys want both.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Id also echo the above comments about getting into groups. It's nearly impossible to find love if you are looking for it.

Get out there doing hobbies and things that interest you especially if there are going to be other people around. You'll be having fun enjoying yourself and eventually you will meet someone that you are attracted to and has similar interests.

You can't find love, it finds you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't sleep with them and see how many stick around. All guys want it, but some of us will stick around without it in the beginning for a woman we are in to if looking for something more.

Should weed out the guys that aren't interested in anything other than sex.

  

Well I've been doing that lol!

The same way you filter anything else.  

 

When I was dating, I was horny all the time AND I wanted something real someday.  I've been happily married for 22 years.  But back when I was dating, I was trying to get my dates into bed long before I realized which one of them was the real thing.  I'm not saying you have to sleep with your dates.  If you don't want to, you don't have to do it just because they want it, and any guys who bail out immediately just because you didn't probably weren't worth it anyway.  

 

But don't mistake a guy wanting to have sex with you as proof that he doesn't "want something real."   All guys want sex, but lots of guys want both.

 

Hrmmm. See this is where i get confused. I was raised that its a big no no to sleep with anybody until you get to know them and trust them. Honestly, i feel like i can't sleep with people until i trust them anyway, so if a guy comes on too strong, i have a tendency to run for the hills lol. Could this be what I'm doing wrong?

 

You need to to attend the ES Tailgate regularly. It has resulted in 2 ongoing and happy marriages that met at the tailgate.

 

Really? I'd LOVE to find a fellow redskins fan :D

 

Where are you from?

 

Greensboro, NC.

 

Alright already, I'll take you out. Where do you want to go?

Are you single and how old are you? Lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Keep looking, the right guy is out there. I agree about doing things you enjoy, as it would be an easy icebreaker to meet somebody with similar interests.

I also agree with Predicto about us being horndogs. We can't help it lol. Every guy you've ever met in your life has sized you up. Coworkers, your male neighbors, guy in line behind you at the bank...most men have already decided if they'd hit it or not within 5 second of meeting you lol.

I do agree with your line of thinking, though. Don't give it up all willy nilly, especially to some cornball brotha who doesn't deserve it. Trust is a big thing, and my wife used the exact same logic on me. She wouldn't let me hit it until she trusted me, which took a few months.

Best of luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks Chewy. I'm gonna keep looking, but i refuse to just sleep with any doofus i meet. To me, sex is more than just the physical, so to speak, so there has to be something else there. I really do have to trust a person before I'm willing to share myself with a person physically.

Now, why you guys are so hell bent on deciphering whether or not a girl would sleep with you, or you'd sleep with them, I'll never understand lol. What if you spend all that energy trying to figure out if you'd sleep with her, and she wants nothing to do with you??? Do you still do the same thing with the next girl?

Men are confusing. All women want is love :D

32 and probably single for life. Sadly I'm probably the shyest man on the planet and that just tends to turn females off TBH :(

Awwww. There's nothing wrong with being shy! I actually would prefer that over these fake, lying, perverts I've met.

See, i guess I'm a little old fashioned. I equate shyness to chivalry, and i refuse to believe that chivalry is dead dammit!

If a girl doesn't like you just the way you are, then she's not worth your time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...